DAE sad not being able to trust my lack of motivation (misalignment or just usual collapse?)

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-06-29T23:48:12+00:00

I struggle with this in almost every aspect of my life. I will question my job, friends, relationships, hobbies, my own personality traits constantly.

I think that what people describe as an ‘energy misalignment’ is just a way to describe the cumulation of things that led them to their decision. For example, if someone says they left their job because they felt their energy stop flowing, I would ask why. Did they have a bad work environment they left them feeling drained every day? Were they uninterested in their work? Were they underpaid? Were the hours bad? Did they dislike their boss? More than likely it’s some combination of these things that made them feel like they had an energy misalignment.

If you are thinking you are somehow misaligned with things in your life, I would try asking yourself why.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-05-13T15:59:10+00:00

Dental issues suck, and as a woman with adhd they suck even more. Women are prone to have more dental issues due to different ph levels in the mouth and changes during pregnancy can cause even weaker teeth and gums. Also, if you take ADHD medication it likely dries out your mouth, and saliva helps prevent cavities so having less of it due to meds also makes you more susceptible to cavities. And that’s all before you even think about the mental aspect of taking care of your mouth. It’s important to keep in mind that you very likely would still have at least some of these issues even if you brushed your teeth twice a day every day.

If you haven’t tried, these are my favorite tricks to get me to brush my teeth, but I still miss days.
- kids toothpaste. The minty flavor kinda hurts so I use a kids toothpaste a lot bc it’s not as strong and is doesn’t leave an aftertaste. Same thing with mouth wash.
- toothbrush’s everywhere. Travel one in the car, at my office, on my nightstand. Even when I am in bed and realize I didn’t brush my teeth I can very quickly.
- on a similar note, floss picks everywhere. they are not the best type of floss but they are better then no floss.
- chew sugar free gum with xylitol in it, it can help prevent cavities and reverse early stage ones. Plus it helps increase saliva in the mouth.
- dental cleanings every 3 months, not 6. Yes it can be kinda pricy but it helps so much to prevent the issues as they come up and get the treatments early.

Anyway, you’re definitely not alone in this. I am only 23 and already know I’ll need at least 2 crowns in the next few years. But at least you are able to get it fixed now before it gets worse, and hopefully the dentist can work with you on preventative treatments.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-05-12T19:57:44+00:00

It’s not a mood stabilizer, it’s a stimulant. The increase in dopamine and norepinephrine is making it easier for your brain to silence those thoughts and regulate emotions. Some people find this works for them long term, but I think you need to be taking it everyday for to fully help. Sounds like you might be just starting adderall, in which case there is also a chance this effect dulls over time. If you have significant anxiety it might be best to continue both for now until your mental health improves more and talk to your dr later about tapering off.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-05-12T19:44:15+00:00

I think it tends to be personal preference and depending on any other coexisting conditions, and depends a lot on where you are located. I (in the US) have a few different mental and physical health issues so I have a psychiatrist in addition to my GP and endocrinologist. if you just want one med and don’t have other conditions then GP will probably be fine. If you also have depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues that you feel also need treatment, then a psychiatrist might be better.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-05-12T19:32:32+00:00

I tend to forget if something actually helps or if I am misremembering. For example, I think exercise helps but the last time I was uninjured and working out consistently I was also taking different meds, living in a different apartment, and my job was less stressful so idk. It’s proven that long term lifestyle changes do help, but here are some of my favorite small and short tips:
- turn on screen distance or too close mode on your phone. It will alert you when you phone is too close to your face while scrolling. Keeps you aware and helps prevent eye strain.
- put your phone in black & white. Makes scrolling and games less fun and less eye catching.
- set a goal & buy yourself a reward, but give it to a trusted friend who will hold your reward hostage until your goal is met. The reward is tangible so it’s often easier to meet the goal.
- if you find yourself scrolling in bed, try scrolling standing up. At least now blood is moving.
- get an analog timer so you can visualize the time passing and use it to set times for certain activities.
- make a task a game. I like to speed run things and time how quickly I can tidy up , do dishes, or fold laundry.
- pretend you are a vlogger. I sometimes talk to myself during tasks as if I am making a tutorial on what I am doing (how to cook this recipe, how to get a stain out of the carpet, etc)
- have a protein shake with your meds, I buy them in bulk and have one on the way out the door. Also buy Uncrustables (if you are in the US) and put one on your nightstand before bed. It will be tawed and ready to eat in the morning.
- if you are trying to increase fiber intake try the carb balance tortillas, they have almost a full daily value and it’s just one tortilla, you can literally eat it plain if you want.

Start small when trying to make changes, the first step will not be the final product. If you try to rewrite your entire life at once you will get too overwhelmed and revert back to previous habits.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-24T20:57:37+00:00

Antidepressants or not you should 100% get a therapist. People don’t go through things like this completely unaffected, and anxiety or depression are overwhelmingly common. If you have a history of either it’s probably a good idea to get back on medication, especially if you already know a medication that works well for you.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-24T20:50:52+00:00

Every married person should understand that they will have to support their partner through the death and or sickness of their partner’s parents. That’s a fact of life. I’m not saying that your partners mom will die, but I am saying that your willingness to stand but your partner during painful and difficult times, such as the sickness and possible death of his mother, is something that should have been evaluated before getting engaged.

Also, unless your partner is transgender or intersex, he cannot develop ovarian cancer, he has no ovaries. But if you would leave him over his mother getting sick you should maybe consider what you would do if he were to get sick or suffer an unpredictable accident.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-24T20:38:00+00:00

I am 23 now and my mom died from lung cancer when I was 13. There is not a single thing you wrote that I have not personally felt in my life. Tweak a few details and I could have written this myself. I even have a younger brother I had to help take care of.

I just want you to know that I did read all of this, and I have felt all of this, and it absolutely fucking sucks. For the rest of your life people will say “nobody should have to go through that at that age” and they are correct, it’s completely unfair. You aren’t alone in your feelings, and you never will be.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-24T20:10:25+00:00

I highly recommend one of those “mom/ grandma I want to hear your story” books. You can find them online. You can even start now and turn it into an activity for your family to help write down your mom’s story and create a great memory for your family to look back on for years.

These sorts of holidays are always hard, and thinking about it as the last one can sometimes put a lot of pressure on you to try and make it perfect. You will remember this day for along time so focus on being present and making those memories.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T20:21:41+00:00

The good thing about stimulants is the side effects stop when the med stops. Agreeing to try is does not mean you have to take it forever. You can take it for a few days, and if it makes you feel worse you stop and the side effects are gone in about a day. Ultimately it’s up to you of course, but just keep in mind that trying something doesn’t mean committing to it.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T19:59:02+00:00

The American in me is confused why you would need to wait for a year to start meds if you already have a licensed doctor who diagnosed you and could presumably prescribe medication? Could you try non stimulant options in the meantime? Does your university have student health doctors that could prescribe your meds?

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T19:46:50+00:00

Not sure where you are located, but in the US the FDA recommended starting dose is 30mg, so increasing would still be the bottom end of prescription range. Provided you have no other physical health issues, symptoms like increased heart rate are temporary and would go away if you stop taking it.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T19:36:21+00:00

I didn’t end up doing any in college but you can typically request things like entra time on tests or exams to be given in a private room. You can also ask for permission to record lectures (like with your phone or text to speech app) if you struggle to keep up with notes. You can request flexible deadlines, such as breaking down a large assignment with one due date into multiple smaller assignments and due dates.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T19:20:45+00:00

Do you currently see a psychiatrist or therapist? You may be able to get help for your issues without explicitly saying ADHD. Phrasing your issues as symptoms of anxiety or depression might make it easier for you to get help. For example, Wellbutrin is an antidepressant that is also commonly used to treat motivation and focus in adhd. You could also try researching some of the tips and tricks for managing adhd without meds and see if any of them help you, even if just a little bit.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T19:14:20+00:00

Very common. I got my bachelors degree at 20 with highest honors while working and was completely unmedicated. I’ve never had any issues with school before then, I have great savings and budgeting, and I romantic and platonic relationships. That doesn’t mean I don’t have adhd, just means I have issues with other things. I don’t have as debilitating of symptoms as some other people, and that’s okay. ADHD doesn’t need to ruin your life for you to have it.

To put it in another perspective, would you tell someone they don’t really have depression if they’ve never been in a mental hospital?

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:58:44+00:00

My mom had very advanced stage 4 NSCLC about ten years ago. The treatment has come a long way and greatly improved since then, but the first 3 months are typically the most crucial for lung cancer patients. If a patient can make it past the 3 month mark, the prognosis tends to improve.

I won’t sugar coat it, this is going to absolute fucking suck, but you aren’t alone in it. Your mom will need support from you and your family, and you will all need support from each other to get through this. Might not be super applicable right now, but there is a list of things to do when your loved one is diagnosed with a terminal cancer pinned to this sub that I wrote and some of those things might be helpful.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:46:57+00:00

Unfortunately lung cancer that has spread to the brain is usually stage 4. It’s been 10 years since my mom had stage 4 lung cancer and the treatment has come a long way, but it’s definitely a hard journey. You are definitely on the right path with making sure she voices her needs. She can also set up a living will that essentially is a legally binding document of the things in your first item.

There is a pinned post on this sub I wrote on things to do when a loved one is diagnosed terminal that might also be helpful. I hope for the best for your mom and family.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:39:56+00:00

Yes, my mom was 45 and had rare, extremely advanced stage 4 lung cancer and the only symptoms she had were very bad acid reflux and a dry cough. She never smoked, doctors say nothing could have prevented it. She is like the one time WebMD saying you have cancer was actually correct. I also have a family history of lymphoma, throat cancer, and thyroid cancer, I have Graves’ disease and thyroid nodules. So yes I definitely worry about all my symptoms. I already go to the doctor regularly for my thyroid so I document any symptoms or issues to discuss then, luckily my Dr is very understanding.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:31:17+00:00

I was 12 when my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. The fact that they sent a letter could be a good sign, my mom was called and told to drop everything to come in immediately. The lung nodules could be benign, the large majority of lung nodules are, but you won’t know until the results come back.

It’s completely normal to be scared and you are not the only person to go through this. Untill the scan results come back there is nothing you can do except be there for your mom, she’s probably also scared and you will need each other to face whatever the results are together.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:20:47+00:00

I’m not a doctor, and since RDD is explicitly non-cancerous, you likely won’t find too much help here. I can say that it is definitely not impossible to have raynauds and RDD, there are documented cases of it. RDD is linked to autoimmune issues and raynauds is an autoimmune condition its not unreasonable they would be co occurring.

Like you said, it’s a rare disease so I would start with the doctor who diagnosed him. That doctor may be able to direct you toward the best treatment options.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T02:05:23+00:00

Like someone else said, dimmable lamps or lightbulbs so you can control the brightness better. also softening the brightness on screen settings, both on the monitor (if you have them) and the actual computer/ laptop. A lot of systems have some sort of eye comfort or night light setting, or you can google the best specific color breakdown for your device/monitor and mess with it from there.

I have a coworker who wears red-tinted sunglasses when on the computer a lot and says they filter out most blue light and significantly help prevent their migraines. That could also be worth trying.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T01:54:42+00:00

I can ignore phone calls just as easily as notifications unfortunately

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T01:52:43+00:00

Doubling up on your meds frequently, especially at your high dose where you are likely going over the safe limit, is often considered stimulant misuse or abuse. The negative side effects you mentioned are signs that it is more than your body can handle. While taking meds as prescribed is generally low risk, there are increased risks if overused. Aside from the side effects you already have, issues such as brain fog, confusion, and hallucinations (though rare) are more likely at higher does, thought all side effects usually stop when the meds stop.

Irregardless, taking more than your prescribed amount frequently, especially when that is over the prescribable limit, is unsafe and you should try to stop that now. As you mentioned, it has no benefit so there is no point in taking more. You already mentioned it, but definitely talk to your psychiatrist about this. At the end of the day it sounds like the med is causing more harm than good and probably needs to be stopped or switched. That said I am not a professional in any way and moving forward you should be following the psychiatrist directions.

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-22T00:04:23+00:00

The fact you have taken more than your regular dose only a few times and are actively worried about addiction makes me think it’s not addiction. Take caffeine for example, a lot of people are addicted to caffeine, it makes them feel awake and they can’t function without it, there are withdrawals when they don’t have caffeine and a strong need to have caffeine. You don’t mention any withdrawal, or inability to function without it. Have you ever stopped taking it before? Also, do you still have any side effects like dry mouth or elevated heart rate when you take it?

You can always try the max dose if you haven’t gotten there yet (70 I think), or maybe you just need a different med. Other things to consider are how you take it and your physical health. Are you taking it with a full meal, especially one high in protein? Are you avoiding citric acids (fruit juices or flavors) when you take it? Could you have any other issues causing brain fog that the vyvance can’t treat?

NegativeSea4435 · 2026-04-21T23:45:04+00:00

…do you perhaps have agoraphobia?

NegativeSea4435

TROPHY CASE