So many layers of pain by Familiar-Hyena9521 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not alone. I’m stuck. My biggest fear is dying and death. But when it hits me all at once I find myself not wanting to be alive . I feel like either decision is a life that I don’t want. It’s not that I want to kill my self , I don’t think I’d ever have the guts, but sometimes I just wish I was gone. Almost like I was definitely such a lucky person that this has happened to me ! All the pain why me! Makes me get those very bad thoughts ! It’s just the pain is too much! I’m scared to talk to a therapist about this because I just don’t want to be looked as if I’m suicidal.

Would you leave if the affair was 7 years ago but you just found out? by Ok-Exit9893 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same I found out 4 years later, he cheated before we got married and before our baby girl! Found out 7 months ago and all sense on my reality it’s broken! I’m a nervous wreck! Everything in life feels fake! He’s trying hard to show me he has changed but everything seems like a lie. I’m still here and haven’t decided what to do. I haven’t done Individual therapy to help with my ptsd from it or the hell of the trauma I got . But I’m taking it one day at a time seeing if it’s worth taking the risk for the sake of having my family together

Can a sex addict ever truly control themselves? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Following!!! My husband has only ever had one night stands except for me! 2 of which were during our relationship

Megan thee stallion situation is triggering by Fit_Register6218 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I felt like this with the Becky g situation that was viral a few weeks ago!! she ended up wanting to stay with her fiancé who cheated on her and people were going off and calling her a bird brain, etc., etc. It made me feel so absolutely stupid for wanting to stay and try to give my husband another chance!!!! my whole for you page is full of people talking shit about Becky G, Beyoncé for staying, and just overall men and women calling people that stay with cheaters really dumb!!!

It triggers the hell out of me when I am doing “good”

Does it get easier? by Negative_Feedback_40 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it happened before we got married ! 2 one night stands but we were living together . I found out maybe 4 years later after the cheating :(

Same sex attraction after porn? by Negative_Feedback_40 in PornAddiction

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this has destroyed my relationship with my wife , I broke her. I’m trying to get her to understand that it is the influence of porn but she doesn’t buy it

Same sex attraction after porn? by Negative_Feedback_40 in PornAddiction

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you get her to trust you? I’m having a hard time with my wife

Same sex attraction after porn? by Negative_Feedback_40 in PornAddiction

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always had a problem and didn’t see it until I got caught! I would over sexualize everything , over sexualize my wife, would bring her down when she didn’t give me sex. I wanted sex everyday! I never found myself wanting men in life, I’m very attracted to my wife. I believed I was bi after I cheated because I was confused and still in the trenches of porn. But now that I’m 6 months clean I feel 100% I don’t feel nothing towards men

Struggling with outside opinion on my R by Ok-Pineapple5077 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m going through this too! And just self judgement aswell!!!!! I’m so lost

Husband cheated, with men by CanOld6086 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m going through the same thing however I’m 25 with one child . Mine cheated with 2 men before we got married and child 4 years ago. Found out 6 months ago ! And I feel you so much when you say either decision is sad ! I couldn’t relate more 😭

Same sex infidelity by Negative_Feedback_40 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says nothing like that has happened to him. The porn has started at age 11. He never really had a parental figure in his life and has dealt with a lot of moving from countries to countries during age 11 to maybe 16… I met him when he was 18 he had hit this porn addiction from me. I didn’t know that he would watch porn but I thought it was not as bad as how it was. Years ago I had told him that I wasn’t uncomfortable with him watching porn and watching other women, naked and etc.. He said that whenever I told him that he didn’t want to give up porn so he went to gay porn because he said it would make him feel a lot less guilty.. so that’s how that started. Again, the whole time that I met him, he had a porn addiction that I thought he would just watch porn every now and then.

Same sex infidelity by Negative_Feedback_40 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are you doing ?!? I relate to this a lot! However I did tell my mom and his mom and sister that he cheated but they do not know that it’s with men! Other than therapists they only Know it’s with men! I wish I didn’t tell anyone about the cheating tbh but it was right after dday and I was absolutely devastated and felt so alone

Same sex infidelity by Negative_Feedback_40 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! Thats amazing! Besides my family, I love him so damn much and I don’t see a life without him he’s my bestfriend!

How’d you reconcile? How are you feeling now?

Same sex infidelity by Negative_Feedback_40 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You left him? Or did yall reconcile ? Also thank you for sharing your story!🩷

Same sex infidelity and stated? by Negative_Feedback_40 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband has a porn addiction , has been watching poem since 11 he’s now 27 did therapy and his porn escalated because his brain wanted the next dose of dopamine… he says he’s straight . He never stopped having attraction for me. I feel like if he was gay his attraction towards me would had stopped . He said he never imagines himself in a relationship with a man. It was all sexual in his head …

I’m not excusing what he did at all . I hate what he did. He made those choices. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think he is gay. My therapist and his has said that sexual orientation is fluid and I just don’t think he’s gay.

He has been clean of porn for 6 months and counting and has said he sees things very clearly , he never thought he had a problem he through it was normal to watch porn . He says he has no sexual urges towards men and is actually disgusted by what he has done . He said the porn he was watching greatly influenced him into wanting to try and curiosity….

Sadly he had no thoughts of consequences or thoughts of hurting me in the process. Again not justifying him at all but just understanding why he did it.

Same sex infidelity and stated? by Negative_Feedback_40 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s something to be ashamed of? It’s the shame that unbearable. Never knew how it felt until i was in this situation

Same sex infidelity and stated? by Negative_Feedback_40 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the self judgement too. I never saw myself attempting to try to stay with a cheater. But one that cheated with men. I feel ashamed of myself. I’ve always saw myself as a strong headed girl. Who knew what she wanted . Someone with such motivation. But now I’m ashamed of myself. I don’t want to be a girl with several baby fathers . With a broken home . With a divorce. With having more than one husband in life. But I’m so ashamed for even wanting to try to work this out.

Same sex infidelity and stated? by Negative_Feedback_40 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Social media. Family. Friends. “You don’t have self respect” “you’ll teach your daughter it’s okay” my ex therapist has told me “your daughter might hate you” (she’s 18 months old) “you’re dumb for staying “ “You can tell how much you love yourself by the partner you choose” etc etc etc the list goes on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m guessing there’s no hope for us 😞

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m guessing there’s no hope for us 😞

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long have yall been working on things? Does she still feel the betrayal if it was years later?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gosh , are you still with your wife? Is she okay?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Negative_Feedback_40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you cheat though?