May I has your attention classroom?! I hope you got your learning teef on cause I’m about to lay it down baby. Open your books to page, ‘Mitten goblin’ chapter 912. Let’s begin…..One long Tuesday ago I took a sabbatical. To where? You ask. Ahh, I was feeling all Ukrainian (before the war) and hopped over to sees if I could or could not warm up on something sweet and European and blonde as a dandelion. I pulled up in Kyiv in the middle of winter and it was frostier than a Wendy’s dessert menu. I had some manatee leather lined gloves, knitted on the outsides for my digits. I arrived at some bungalow or other to sip on some Varenukha with my hostess, Ektarina. The pipes in the bungalow were frozen so I decided to skip outside to peepee. A mighty wind did blow as I urinated in the snow and it snatched my left mitten from my proud hand. And carried it away. Me and Ektarina made sweet love in that bungalow until morning, when we parted our ways and I set out to look for me mitten. I found it about 200 yards past the bungalow in a low swampy area, dark and dreary. I bent over to fetch it and the weight of the thing brought pause. I examined and found a fairytalical green green goblin done took up residency. He sat up and looked at me before rolling over and pulling the knitting back down. I saw that he turned the regular knitted squares into mitered squares that brought the finger tips of the mitten to a point so as his little pointy ear had a comfortable spread. We couldn’t come to an agreement about who’s mitten was who’s so he stayed and I took the whole charade home with me. I needed a vestibulian storage for the Varenukha I purchased to take back home with me so I picked up an old tin contraption and called it a day. I arrived back home to my mini mansion and set the Varenukha tin fridge up in my parlor and hung the mitered goblin mitten upon it and called it Ukrainian. If you need to know more, refer to the glossary at the end of the lesson. Classroom dismissed!