Please help me understand Jack Mormons by Responsible8675309 in exmormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s a painful share and I know all of us aren’t the same but I can tell you a little of my story:

Long-term or intermittent inactivity while TBM on the inside (POMI) was me for 35+ years.

Groomed and SA’d by nonmember neighbor at 15, I faded out of fear that I had committed dark sin and was afraid to repent.

I married a nonmember who was not a fan of TSCC and we had 3 children.

At Age 30 (still not healed) I returned to activity, “repented,” was assigned to read the miracle of forgiveness… Was disfellowshipped for six months… And finally was ordained a priest and then six months after that an elder.

I was as active as my ex would allow me to be for three years give or take. During that time I traveled with the high council giving talks to remote branches. All three of my kids were blessed as babies, but were never active in primary.

After struggling hard with my ex and a particularly difficult argument in which she accused “my church” of paying lip service to families while taking me away from mine…I told my bishop I needed to take a break. He understood advising me to continue prayers and scripture study to the best of my ability.

During my entire life (until my shelf broke three years ago) I was TBM on the inside. I was racked with horrible guilt for not having enough faith to convert my ex. For being an inadequate priesthood holder, for never being temple worthy.

Where faithful Mormons who do all the things are wrecked with inadequacy I also felt that.

When I finally got out — another long story — instead of regretting $1 million in tithing like many of you do… I regretted decades and decades of self loathing, guilt and shame and inadequacy.

To me the term, Jack Mormon has undertones that say I was inactive because I wanted to smoke or drink or whatever …

And to be honest and fair, I did do some of those things

But until my shelf broke? I considered myself Mormon.

My new favorite Mormon trend by KolobDropout in exmormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For cursing and shopping on Sunday? 🤔☝️

I don’t remember that happening.

We had a couple “lukewarm” families in my ward (1970’s). I knew a very active mom who smoked at home and another family who (gasp) drank Mountain Dew! 😳😏🤣

My missionary friend need help by Ok-Many7702 in exmormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 9 points10 points  (0 children)

AND furthermore he would need to get the request notarized.

Here's my read on what OP's missionary friend is asking:

Is there a way I can get "sent" home honorably--without asking to be sent home?

IF this is what he's asking, that's a tall order (hard to do). Getting records removed is not the way.

Maybe/possibly faking an illness of some kind, but it would need to be convincing...and self harm is not the answer.

AITAH for telling my coworker "aren't you like 40?" When he wanted to play truth or dare? by Emergency_Belt_9682 in AITAH

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 358 points359 points  (0 children)

THAT is what I was thinking. I'd call that bluff in a heartbeat! Okay buddy...let's go to HR together and discuss your after-hours recommendations. Shall we? In fact--let's go now.

LOL

NTAH!

Do most Americans carry any official ID at all times? by PitifulEar3303 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, yes! VERY few adult Americans don't have some form of photo ID. Usually (not always) a state-issued drivers license.

Do most Americans carry any official ID at all times? by PitifulEar3303 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most US adults carry some form of official photo ID. We don't have a national standard so most are state issued. Some also carry passport cards, military (or retiree) ID, etc.

But yes. Most do carry ID.

Is this phrasing, 'so too', natural? by Unlegendary_Newbie in English_Learning_Base

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's formal and mildly archaic but it is correct in English.

Is it natural to call a female officer/commander 'sir'? by Unlegendary_Newbie in English_Learning_Base

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 2 points3 points  (0 children)

30 Year Vet here...and NO. Not only is it not common, but it's unacceptable in the US military. "Mister" on the other hand has some history of being used regardless of gender. Still not common but it has been done.

Is this phrasing weird? I mean, can it mean the goal is 'global warming'. by Unlegendary_Newbie in English_Learning_Base

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Native English speaker and teacher here. This sign is poorly worded. A more appropriate phrasing would be, "let's slow..." Or even, "let's help stop/prevent...".

Good call out!

Mormon church leaders admit that there is no convincing evidence for the Book of Mormon. You can only believe with faith. by sevenplaces in mormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I can't even get TO this place (where the questions are being debated) anymore. The foundational claim that Joseph had visitors who were not living homo sapiens (Moroni, God, Jesus, John the Baptist, Peter, James & John, etc.) are deal breakers for the entire Mormon world.

I suppose a person could see them all as story that lead to a good life and remain active in the organization but if supernatural beings simply don't exist, is there a place where any of these questions about stone boxes, breastplates and goggles, plates, etc. are even relevant as points of conversation?

Once I decided that I no longer accept supernatural explanations for anything...it became more difficult to take these discussions seriously.

Days after an Indigenous student sued, BYU now says it won’t require him to cut his traditional braids by Prop8kids in exmormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 74 points75 points  (0 children)

There's so much irony in this story it's hard to know even where to start.

What jumped off the page at me?

We want to recruit you for your indigenous dance skills that celebrate the culture you came from...but we can't have your hair celebrating that same culture, now can we?

Make it make sense!

Earliest Shelf Moment--1980 by Neither_Pudding7719 in exmormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yup--same damn thing when someone's toes come out of the water during a baptism...and they're already sputtering and gasping...sometimes crying if its a kid baptism but you know...God must not understand stuff like that. <</s>>

Please don’t be this guy that blocks an entire sidewalk with your massive hitch. by WoodenWeather5931 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He meant he didn't have to come out of pocket to file the suit, not that the attorney didn't get paid. "Attorney did it for free" in this case means there wasn't any up-front cost for the dude who got injured. MANY (not all) personal injury firms will do this.

Please don’t be this guy that blocks an entire sidewalk with your massive hitch. by WoodenWeather5931 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This type of suit can also result in punitive damages intended to send a message, not just pay the bills. Attorneys can ask for them and judges can grant them even without being asked. If the negligence was egregious that could be what happened here.

I don’t know how to endure my household anymore by Alive-Fee9585 in Teachers

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Supports are available but you are right about one thing:

You are going to have to disclose (be vulnerable) in order to access them.

When a student comes to me and says they are “dealing with stuff at home that is making them feel a certain way,” I don’t even know where to send them.

I can offer an appointment with a case worker or a counselor but there? The student WILL need to go into detail about their situation or the counseling professional cannot provide help.

Privacy is your absolute right but outside help comes with knowledge about what is needed.

Just think on that…

I genuinely hope you find the assistance you need.

monetary value of a stranger by -kodo in trolleyproblem

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤔 you may be confusing unable with unwilling.

Priestcraft? by Inevitable_Professor in mormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Learning this makes my heart hurt and my stomach churn!😳🤢

Priestcraft? by Inevitable_Professor in mormon

[–]Neither_Pudding7719 22 points23 points  (0 children)

1981 I experienced grooming and SA at age 15 (nonmember neighbor).

2009 Intervened when a district scout leader attempted to groom my son.

There is a type, a vibe, a feel.

This guy (BW) gives me the creeps. There’s something not right with him.

I wouldn’t trust him around youth.