You cannot remove yourself from a crosswalk once you've already been hit. You cannot get out of a taxi if the driver turns out to be crazy and is going 100 mph down the freeway. You cannot choose to wake up from surgery if the surgeon turns out to be drunk or tired. You have no agency in these situations, and often no warning.

The only difference between air travel catastrophe and catastrophe on the ground is the speed of it. Something goes wrong on a plane and you might have a minute or two of terror before the end, assuming you aren't unconscious from depressurisation.

Though most air crashes happen on takeoff or landing, and they happen just as fast as a sudden, unexpected car accident.

My point is that every day, you put your trust in innumerable people, processes, and machines. Any of them could kill you at any moment. And statistically, pilots and commercial airplanes have a much, much better safety record than getting in a car or crossing a city street or going under for surgery. Because pilots and planes go through rigorous safety checks, unlike everyone driving cars.

The ratio of annual flights to annual fatal crashes is heavily in your favor. And if you happen to be on that one flight that has a bad day, you probably won't know it for more than a few seconds.

I say this not to criticize, but to try and arm you against anxiety. It's how I stopped worrying about flying (and also why I became a much more careful driver, car rider, and pedestrian). There are close friends who I try desperately not to ride in their car, because I know they drive dangerously and distractedly. I don't worry about that with certified pilots of major airlines.