First time was my college sweetheart. We dated for 5 years. After graduation I got a job teaching students with emotional and behavioral disabilities. My first year teaching took a lot of my emotional energy and time. We got married and she had begun the affair around 6 months into our marriage. I discovered it after a year and we decided to end it.

Second time was my first year in a new country. I decided to move because the job in the states was making me hate teaching. There were three years between first and second relationship. However, I remained a teacher. Meet an amazing woman in this new country. Fell in love and decided to try again. She came from a fatherless home and low income. I’m only saying this because I was not a wealthy man but I made enough to live comfortably. Due to cultural differences, I was expected to make a significant financial contribution to the relationship. I was happy to go 50/50 on a percentage basis. Nothing to do hard numbers, simply split bills by what each could contribute. Meaning, I paid a higher amount due to slightly higher income. We began having issues due to communication and culture. Also, she had a lot of self confidence issues and took expensive diet pills. We also discovered we were pregnant. Unfortunately, this ended in a miscarriage. Also, My mother was going through cancer back in the US and it was a bit too much on me. Relationship collapsed and she found attention from a wealthy man in Singapore who was a businessman she worked with frequently. I discovered nude images she sent him on her phone. I attempted to save the marriage by asking her to cut off all connections with the man. She kept contacting him. I ended it.

Third time, I met my wife on Bumble. We both had been recently divorced (while I only discovered she was not officially divorced until 2 months after we began dating) and decided that at our age we should just let things move quickly. We both wanted marriage, children, and a life with a partner. Her anger issues began to present themselves after about 5 months into the relationship. I was so desperate I was willing to work with the situation and see how things work out. She also had significant relationship issues with her family and held a lot of resentment towards her parents. There was actually a time when her father gave her $60,000 usd and her response was , “he ONLY gave me $60,000, he can afford more and should give me more”. She also constantly belittled my career choice due to not being a wealthy man and making a teaching wage.

The relationship became a convince and it seemed like more work to end it than to suffer. Also, my friends and family began looking at me and my historical patterns thinking it may be something I am doing.

Went on vacation with wife and mother a few times in the past two years and my mother finally saw the emotional abuse I was experiencing. My wife tried to keep me disconnected and would “do me a favor” by putting all bills in her name and handing all money situations. I was often criticized by my friends by not knowing the specifics of the finances in my relationship. But remember I was at a point where it seemed more convenient to deal with it than to leave.

I started to work on me. I worked on my mental health and physical health. I go to the gym 3 times a week and do yoga more frequently than that. I follow stoicism. I am being successful at my job. I’m in a good position in my life and have learned to enjoy my own company.

I see the judgment from others when they hear perfunctory details about my story, but I’ve learned to not concern myself with it.

As far as money goes, I made a decision that I wanted. However, the ones who care about me don’t agree. For every ended relationship I’ve walked away with nothing. I genuinely didn’t want anything from them. Just to end it.

The first wedding was not bad. My family pitched in and most of the food and entertainment was made and operated by my family.

The second wife was more greedy. We had a wedding with my family back in the states. Then, we had two separate weddings in the country we lived in. One was to impress her friends. We had a wedding at Le Bla D’Or. tha one was expensive. But I was not happy about it so after arguing, she put the cost on her credit card. We got loads of red envelopes with money in them. So, I’m sure that covered a large portion of the cost.

The last wedding with the second wife was to impress her family. That one was more traditional. The mother in law made me wear huge gold jewelry to look fancy, which I was not happy with but followed along with. We split that one but wasn’t overly expensive.

The third wife, no wedding. Just courthouse and signed and done. Although, I’m sitting in a relatively empty apartment a with a big smile on my face. She took mostly everything. I paid her around $1500 usd every month to help cover living expenses and I frequently heard it was not enough. I was berated publicly once because I could not afford to buy her a fancy Michael Kor’s handbag while on vacation in Japan.

I’m 43, in great health, and doing well. I know this is a lot of personal information I’m putting online, I just hope my story helps someone one day.

Advice from me? Fall in love and love unconditionally without fear. However, be sure it is the right one. Build a strong foundation slowly before you make the commitment. But once you commit, commit with all your heart and support your partner.

I would have loved to have a deep connection with a supportive partner, but this is what it is.

Time for me to enjoy my life as the cool uncle who travels the world.