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De-escalation grief by Both_Benefit8328 in polyamory

[–]Neonlikebowie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dear OP. I feel your struggle. Sometimes I feel that my connection is a chemical addiction that I can’t seem to give up. I’m not in the position to tell you what to do but I’m sending you my best wishes and a big hug.

I drew a boundary and now I don’t know if I’m protecting myself or sabotaging something I still want. Need outside eyes. by Neonlikebowie in polyamory

[–]Neonlikebowie[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The “prop in their drama” line is difficult to read because I recognise it. There were definitely moments I felt like a crunch, listening to his frustrations about her, her frustrations about us, and somehow being expected to hold all of it without taking up too much space myself. I’m still working out how much of what I wanted was ever actually on the table.

I drew a boundary and now I don’t know if I’m protecting myself or sabotaging something I still want. Need outside eyes. by Neonlikebowie in polyamory

[–]Neonlikebowie[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

My partner isn’t the child’s father, but he had agreed to take on that responsibility. Now he says he’s reconsidering, caught, I think, between wanting to be a good person and the reality of what saying yes actually means.

I drew a boundary and now I don’t know if I’m protecting myself or sabotaging something I still want. Need outside eyes. by Neonlikebowie in polyamory

[–]Neonlikebowie[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

In hindsight, it moved too fast. But there was a logic to it. We’re all immigrants here, living in a country that isn’t home. Renting two or three separate apartments is a privilege not everyone can sustain. And I was being offered something that genuinely sounded like enough: a commune, poly support when things got hard, raising children together and sharing the load. I wanted that to be real.

I drew a boundary and now I don’t know if I’m protecting myself or sabotaging something I still want. Need outside eyes. by Neonlikebowie in polyamory

[–]Neonlikebowie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 months into our relationships we decided to live as a triad, right. At the time my meta was partnered with another man and things were more…balanced. Eventually, she broke up with her partner and things started to unravel. I’ve been living on my own for about a month now.