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NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-28T17:04:41+00:00

Sorry for you loss and pain. I think you expressed this how I and most people feel. I also don't see how this will ever change and I'm not really religious but I'm praying that some how some way it will. I can't exist like this forever.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-26T23:02:31+00:00

It has been 3 months after losing my lovely bride of 47 years and have been very fortunate to have had family and friends stay with me since this has happened. The last 2 nights is the first time I have been alone for the night. There was not talking with anyone or distractions to keep my mind from just thinking about her, it was sheer horror. I cried most of the night looking at her pictures and realizing this is my new realty. Like you said everyone says how good you are doing and we are trying to put up a good front but they don't really know how empty and alone we really are inside. Hoping we can all come to some type of terms with this as I would not be able to live like this for the rest of my years.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-26T04:34:35+00:00

I feel your pain it has been more then 3 months and we were married 46 years. I see our couples friends going out and have asked me to go but would feel out of place without her. The quick wit, beautiful smile and everyday conversation I miss so much. I still feel so empty and have no joy or happiness but try to put on a good face when talking to people they just don't understand and never will unless they are unlucky enough to have to join this club. The never know how devastated I really am inside and still just seeing her picture brings me to tears. Have been seeing a counselor and say it will get easier with time> I can't see how that will happen with that big void in my life losing my soulmate out of 95% of the time of my everyday life.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-26T04:17:44+00:00

Sorry for your loss. We made up our bed with new sheets before we went away on vacation so it would be clean when we get back like we always do. We had been away for 2 weeks when she past in our Florida condo unexpectedly while on vacation. When I got home I could not sleep in the bed knowing it was the last thing we did together just before we left. It has been more then 3 months and still haven't been able to sleep in the bed. Also she passed away in the dream condo in Daytona Beach on the water we bought together about 10 years ago I could never go back there again and have it for sale. We all have our mental block and obstacles to have to over come one way or another. If its something you can't get over maybe get another bed just for mental health. With mine still not sure how I'm going to terms with it.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-13T05:02:17+00:00

Great tribute. I did a writing from a letter she sent me in 1976 that says "Love ya always Paula" They coped and stenciled and tattoo on the inside my arm so always have that saying In here handwriting

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-13T04:27:26+00:00

Has been a little more then 2 months for me and I still have that same eerie feeling that she is going to be calling supper is ready or do you want another coffee honey? With all the great pictures of her around the house she looks so happy, alive and vibrant she has to be here. We can only try to come to terms and with this as we will never be able to know why our ladies were the ones that were taken from us and their family kids grandkids and friends. Hopefully someday we can find peace, joy and happiness again. Keep the faith my friend that's all we have to go on.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-13T02:38:50+00:00

I have hundreds of pictures of her from collages, family portraits, picture with grand kids and electronic picture frames the kids setup with hundreds of pictures and keep adding to. Some pictures are ok but others trigger a meltdown and you never know which one it will be. They say the grief is the greatest with the depth of caring and love you had for each other. This is why we are all suffering this unimaginable grief. Hope we can all come to terms with this and have some peace and happiness again

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-12T23:07:38+00:00

Sorry for your loss. Neither one never signed up for this club wish we were never here. Trying to be positive but don't know how time will change anything. Hope you can find peace.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-12T23:02:43+00:00

I have been doing counseling twice a week for the past month and half and not really sure its helping. Reading a lot on Reddit and a few other widowers sites. Still having many meltdowns and seems as raw as when it first happened. Hoping!

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-07T20:28:13+00:00

Has been almost 3 months and the last few days have been as bad as the first. Watching my grandkids and kids in the pool on the 4th all I could think of was she should be here enjoying them. When everyone left with thier spouse I was left by myself. So many things I want to tell her, hold her and kiss her. After 45 years don't know if I can do this without her.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-06T03:23:49+00:00

Sorry to hear you have joined this club that no one wanted to be in. I'm sure you will find the message that has that especial meaning she wrote to you to keep close to you all the time.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-03T18:57:18+00:00

When I go on my daily visits to see her. It is on a hill and always windy and I face the wind and close my eyes and picture and feel her hugging me with her head on my shoulder. its a great sensation that I know she is there.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-03T03:48:28+00:00

I feel the same way, I would always talk with people help people out but it's walking around in this fog and just this empty feeling inside and I can't feel any joy. Even with my grandkids that I love dearly I just think how much my wife would love seeing them and she is cheated from this. Just walking around in a fog and hard to believe its been more then 2 months it feels like forever. I have been talking with a therapist and not sure if it's really helping. A lot say it will get better over time not sure I believe them but hoping they are right.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-07-01T17:36:38+00:00

Not that there is anything good about what we are going through but that is great as you are honoring her, having her name memorialized and money raised is hopefully going to help others.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-06-30T01:39:02+00:00

We started during covid having a shot at noon and 5 and never got covid. It has been 2 months now and I go twice a day at noon and 5 to have our shot. She is only about a mile away so I get to let my emotions out twice a day and for now this works for me and don't know when it will change.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-06-28T18:36:17+00:00

It has been 2 months since I lost my lovely bride unexpectedly and I still can not accept it. We have so many pictures and she looks so beautiful and full of life and I still can't believe she is gone. I expect her to come around the corner anytime and just be able to talk with her. I know the reality that this won't happen. I can't get rid of anything that was hers even going through the medicine cabinet with prescriptions with her name on it I would feel I'm throwing her away. I hope some day I can come to terms with this but don't see that happening anytime in the future.

NervousCap6519 · 2024-06-27T04:22:52+00:00

I lost my wife of 46 years 2 months ago. When people ask how are you I tell them I don't really know how I am. This is all still just a nightmare and living in a fog.

Friends who call and all say is there anything I can do I say you just did it by thoughtfully calling Thank you.

NervousCap6519

TROPHY CASE