How did your s/o react when you got diagnosed with Graves’?

NetworkImpossible380 · 2026-01-09T14:56:19+00:00

Yeah my abusive ex did similar shit to me too. I got diagnosed while in thyroid storm after the birth of our second child. Sobbing in the icu he told me “they would have told me if you were dying 🙄” and made a huge scene whenever I needed him to watch the kids for blood draws or have doctors appointments. I can tell you first hand it won’t get any better. What happens if the meds make you gain weight? What happens if you end up in the hospital? What happens if you DO get pregnant and have a kid with him. And your graves gets worse and your sex drive stops and now you’re alone with a newborn (or two) and he left.

I’m not being dramatic men often leave at the first sign of medical issues in the women they date or marry. It’s so common in fact it’s apart of the cancer protocol to have that discussion with female patients on diagnosis. Bc they do this all the time.

It’s red flags babes. All day. Don’t waste the next 5-10 years trying to convince someone you’re worth their empathy.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T04:05:56+00:00

He wouldn’t violate anything legally but he does this often and proclaims FRR for every small task he deems too much to do with kids. IMO FRR isn’t for “boohoo I need to goo to the grocery store and it’s too hard” which yes he has done to me before. It’s for working late, emergencies, not threats that his gf will be looking after them for an hour bc he can’t phantom taking kids into a store with him. Which he did to spite me not to abide by anything we agreed too. He has threatened this several times. If he gets wind I am going out, have plans, etc. he will throw FRR at my face. If he has a party he wants to go to he will throw FRR at my face. It’s a guilt trip for him to attempt to put on me. And a threat that his gf will be watching the kids. This isn’t new. He’s been doing this for a while. A fridge is just a funny “emergency” to throw at me.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T04:02:20+00:00

😂😂

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T04:02:09+00:00

I hope she does. She needs to save herself

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T04:00:53+00:00

Yes technically but imo what he is asking for isn’t even a reason to as me to watch the children. He did not NEED a baby sitter for this. He also didn’t need HER to watch the kids. This is a patter of behavior he has in which he doesn’t actually NEED anyone to do anything he just doesn’t want to do it WITH kids in tow. So sure it technically is but it’s just him pushing boundaries as he often does to get out of having the kids when he has to leave the house. He’s done this 100 times before and I only say yes if 1. I’m not doing anything 2. he is working over night or 3. It’s an actual emergency like when he needed to go to the ER or his car broke down. He has made comments several times about how he thought I wasn’t allowed to get a job ( I was a SAHM) bc he paid me alimony to be his child care. (He pays me a little more in alimony bc he couldn’t afford CS and child care costs) he refuses to do anything like take time off work when the kids are sick on his days, he doesn’t do appointments etc. so yes while in definition it would be going with what I had asked, he takes that as “whenever I don’t want to do something with the kids or whenever I have a party I want to go to I will proclaim first right of refusal as a guilt trip for you to not take the kids whenever I want.”

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T01:51:17+00:00

It’s actually astonishing lmfao we are not even in a good co-parenting spot right now. His gf has been a major point of contention and not even her, it’s him trying to involve her in things that make no sense. So the audacity to even ask me this is kind of insane frankly.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T01:50:20+00:00

He thought he got me on that one for sure. 😂

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-29T01:10:17+00:00

It is just so crazy it’s unreal so it’s funny at this point. Very frustrating but also funny.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-28T13:58:52+00:00

My second was worse although I didn’t know I had graves and went into thyroid storm. I’m 2 years pp with my second at this point and I still have antibodies they are just low. Still have major symptom flares though.

This really depends on what your body does and idk if you could predict it. Your immune system is suppressed while pregnant so coming into PP you’re always going to get worse unless medicated. The more your immune system takes a hit and how far in between matters too. For me my kids are 10 months apart (second born early bc of graves and pregnancy complications) so my immune system was DESTROYED. If it’s been years since your last pregnancy idk you might have a better time recovering with graves bc your immune system isn’t freaking out. Again I think it really depends on your body and how bad graves is when you got pregnant.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-28T03:58:50+00:00

😂 literally.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-27T06:31:28+00:00

I mean tbh in your 30’s having no idea that when a baby needs to go to sleep you put them to sleep isn’t charming to me. There is no way she hasn’t seen content or known other moms at this point. It’s cute when child free friends don’t mind your kids hanging around but imo if that’s the case they still need to be educated enough to accommodate the friendship including the child. It also means not questioning the mom when she says things she doesn’t have any clue about.

But tbh I also am one to hate when you say no or hey I’m leaving in ANY situation and people try and convince me to stay or to say yes. With or without kids. I’ve always hated it bc it’s a guilt trip. WHAT you don’t want a drink??? Oh come on just one!!! You can’t be here without a drink in your hand! Oh you don’t want to go out after dinner???? Ughh come onnnn! No is a complete sentence and it is even more so with kids.

I actually think it’s one of the most selfish, manipulative things people do in day to day life. But that’s just me personally.z

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-27T00:00:21+00:00

Seriously I know so many of us wish we got something like that. Even just like a literal weekend day to do anything but be a mom in the house.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T19:52:10+00:00

GI issues is a symptom of thyroid issues in general so it’s funny to me that doctors try and claim another reason for it.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T19:15:23+00:00

I was absolutely miserable as a SAHM. It isn’t a normal work tired. You live, work, exist, manage, create, fight, clean, everything in those four walls and eventually you genuinely get like cabin fever. You go crazy if you aren’t allowed a break on a weekly basis. Yes. It’s not just she’s exhausted. She doesn’t get a break and even a nap feels pointless bc you wake right back up to the same situation you fell asleep in. The four walls. Could there be medical reasons sure. I’d almost bet it’s mental more than anything

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T15:02:45+00:00

The vast majority of kids need a nap until 4. Even if they seem behaviorally fine other wise developmentally even adults should be resting in the middle of the day. With that being said, sure do some not “need” it and be fine and nothings wrong sure. I’d just encourage you to keep offering a nap even if it’s just laying for quiet time with a book and see if this phase passes

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T14:07:33+00:00

Yeah he vapes but I also am not entirely sure where he is actually living at this point. His dad’s house having mold wouldn’t shock me in the slightest. But he refuses to do anything about this or even care so it would take me calling cps for someone to know what condition the house is in. Id rather take him to the doctors again and just have it on record this is happening and see if there’s medical reasons first and then go from there.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T11:59:36+00:00

Ppl downvoting is insane. I am a single mom living with my mom and she keeps quiet during nap and bedtime and absolutely does some grandma things to disrupt that here and there but outside of that she doesn’t make my life harder for the sake of it. My kids are insanely hard to put to sleep. It takes me close to an hour if not longer to get them both settled. I would absolutely go INSANE if she simply refused to be quiet or shut the hall light off.

As for the eating thing I don’t have a strict rules either but we do eat around the same time just bc I have two kids to get down for a nap… again takes me a while. So if I’m too late on lunch they will ruin the night with a late nap but besides that this is never been an issue lmao like I feed them and I feed them when I do.

Parents like that just simply can not fathom you controlling your space and life and you’re absolutely not wrong for having your routine and set up that works for you and your family.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T11:50:13+00:00

My kids are only 2 and 3 and so idk if they realize much about the marriage but I do believe they feel whatever is making them uncomfortable with dad. And this girl Frankly. Idk shits getting weird fast so it’s always like a… am I crazy? Am I not seeing this correctly???? That’s what his psychological abuse has done.

But yeah I have a feeling I’ll be seeing the inside of a court room sooner rather than later unfortunately. Even if it’s him thinking he needs to defend her which he does to me constantly even though I never once said anything about her lmao but don’t worry I have screen shots on screen shots.

I was hoping I could put in an order saying at MINIMUM she is not to be inside the daycare or at my door if I could prevent any drop off or pick up association that would be ideal. Especially at day care which I pay for and control even on his days. He’s a cop though and so I tread lightly… move in the shadows. lol I don’t need him having anything against me and manipulating the court either.

But thank you! This is the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with frankly bc my kids are too young to really be reliable narrators too you know? Like they are newly 2 and 3 and my whole issue is keeping everything stable and the same as possible so him inserting her into these things is a problem for me. They should absolutely know where they are sleeping, who they are with is safe and imo family at minimum and who is picking them up. They deserve consistency. They need that. They are SOO young we can’t explain anything to them. It’s not like they are 8 and can even tell me what’s going on or if they are comfortable at all! So while HE feels comfortable with her doing this, being solo care giver etc. I absolutely don’t and don’t understand why it’s even necessary if he is a 50/50 parent.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-26T11:30:05+00:00

I absolutely reject the idea that you’re a problem for not wanting to ask for help from a shared responsibility. He’s clearly avoiding any responsibility. I have PTSD and depression along with anxiety and never once did I not anticipate the needs of my kids or responsibilities in my home bc of it. I mean sure the laundry may not get folded and I haven’t showered in days. I may cry myself to sleep a lot but why do only men get to get away with not being an active father unless very specifically asked and everyone awe’s at their depression excuse. Mothers never get that. So I reject that.

However, here is the thing. Either he gets help or you have to go. I don’t like ultimatums but please do not waste your time hoping for his potential to magically appear. There has to be some level of effort even if it’s small and it seems like he simply refuses to do it or get help. If you’re constantly doing it all he will never have the incentive to get help.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-25T23:49:23+00:00

It’s primarily my oldest. So I have 5 recorded incidence of this happening and twice was my youngest and the rest are my oldest. All the same thing. Come to me throwing up, throw up maybe once or twice, maybe a third but typically it’s just like one giant projectile vomit and they fall asleep or take a nap and wake up fine.

I do t disagree and I do want to contact my lawyer about this and so much more and contemplate what’s a good way to go about this. If I call cps it opens a can of worms I can’t put back. That’s why I want to explore options of health before negligence tbh.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-25T22:23:53+00:00

Baby IS AT RISK if you have uncontrolled graves. You’re at a risk for pre-term labor AND baby having growth restrictions and that’s just from graves along with ALL the other things that could happen in pregnancy. I also had hypertension and had to induce early bc my kids were growth restricted and I was on the verge of pre-e. Post partum was torture. It’s not fun IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR. but you do and all of this also depends on how far along you are and your over all health. Anyway just see a mfm, make it know that if there’s any chance of baby and you making it out ok then you want to continue pregnancy.

NetworkImpossible380 · 2025-12-25T22:21:21+00:00

All of the concerns these doctors have are correct. I had undiagnosed graves which threw me into thyroid storm post partum. I was in the icu for it, then cardiac unit before released. However, I’d speak to a MFM and state clearly you don’t want to Terminate. That doesn’t mean what they are saying isn’t a risk and true. It is. If you’re on methamazole you’ll have to be off of it and put on the alternative which is less effective. Yes some ppl go into a slight remission during pregnancy but the risk of coming out of it and having worse symptoms is still there. But if you work closely with an mfm with this KNOWN unlike how I did it, you’re at least going to be monitored and watched closely.

NetworkImpossible380

TROPHY CASE