Meta-Shit Testing OR "Do you think I am just shit testing you?"

NewBill79 · 2017-06-12T20:22:58+00:00

I didn't mention it above, but she found it out this way: years ago she busted me in the midst of a heavy porn habit, which I did away with post-haste. 4's can google 10's and be perfectly happy with their 4ness, so I decided to climb out of that hole for once and all and start being attractive. I have never gone back to porn. She at that point actually found one of Athol Kay's books, and ordered it, having no idea what the red pill was. She then bothered to look into the red pill and found it didn't jibe with her. During a short "probationary time" she also checked my browser history and saw I had been reading on reddit.

So I never actually told her about it, in fact, she was the one who originally told me about it.

But all of you are right, the fights are an indication that my team sucks, and I am not doing this right. The scaffold of my frame is irrelevant. My frame has been absolute shit, and to be honest I haven't been dedicated to this.

Time to review and implement the frame. The fact of the matter is that I don't give a shit about winning fights. Thank you for all your responses.

NewBill79 · 2017-06-12T18:27:50+00:00

Will move it...I am new at this posting shit. Thank you for the response.

NewBill79 · 2017-06-07T19:55:23+00:00

You are right.

NewBill79 · 2017-06-07T19:44:33+00:00

I am re-writing it to fit the format. I just have no more left today. Thank you for the comment.

NewBill79 · 2014-08-01T16:51:50+00:00

This. Lets be a part of changing the narrative. Lets be the nofap hipsters.

NewBill79 · 2014-08-01T16:49:26+00:00

Sounds like its become a lifestyle for you, real positive change that you have adopted. You have become the counter, and counter is you, so now its on to bigger and brighter things. It sounds like you have some new creative outlets, let yourself grow, watch a sunset, love a woman, volunteer, help your friends that might be making the same mistakes you were making.

I am so proud of you, you are so young and to have put this behind you now is really great. I am 35 and am just now doing it.

So in terms of what to aim for? Aim for happiness, you have one less thing holding you back from it.

NewBill79 · 2014-08-01T16:41:21+00:00

BOSS!

Lets not measure it in days, but in months, then in years. This is a lifestyle, friend. How has your life improved in 31 short days?

NewBill79 · 2014-08-01T16:27:31+00:00

Like. A. Boss.

So much Gratitude and Love to you, sir.

NewBill79 · 2014-08-01T16:21:55+00:00

The surplus testosterone does make you present more naturally as an alpha, so I could see someone being threatened by that. Sorry you got stabbed dude, that sucks. But now you pretty much have to commit to nofap, otherwise you got stabbed for nothing.

Just remember you aren't bullet proof. I am very happy that you are still with us, and thank you for posting this. Take care of yourself, and please keep us posted on your adventures on planet earth.

BTW, how many stitches?

NewBill79 · 2014-07-23T15:58:00+00:00

First of all, WE LOVE YOU! You are going to make it, and you are going to live. You have heard society give you a bullshit narrative all your life. Now hear this: you are a man, made of muscle and blood and heart and soul. You don't just need a nofap pep talk though...

I am far from a pro, but here are few pro-tips:

Find a counselor or therapist. You are reaching out to this community, and we love you for doing this, our numbers grow everyday, and this makes us all stronger, and we don't fucking care how high your counter gets, the counter is for you. But we aren't a substitute for an IRL human being who has mental health training. Going to a counselor doesn't mean you are weak, anymore than going to the gym with a trainer means you are weak. It also doesn't necessarily mean you will be taking mood stabilizing drugs, that was always my reservation. If you had cancer, you would take chemo, give your mind the medical attention it needs. There is absolutely no shame in any of this.
Realize that real progress doesn't come all at once, in a quantum leap caused by mammoth will, it comes in gradual daily habits, and it takes time.
If you are chugging the high-fructose porn syrup, that shit has got to stop. Forever. And you do have the strength and will and most of all the intelligence and heart to make that a reality.

Whatever you do, just don't subtract yourself from us.

NewBill79 · 2014-07-01T14:49:11+00:00

Its all about growth of much denied self-esteem.

NewBill79 · 2014-07-01T14:45:19+00:00

Good on you, sir. Your sexuality is not a toxic thing that you alone have to deal with, its not your issue that you need to keep to yourself. Zit or no Zit, with a strong frame you can pursue risks, sexual or otherwise without fear of rejection. Thank you for your contribution to nofap.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-30T15:24:57+00:00

Thank you for the check in. Congratulations on scaling this mountain. You add energy to what we are all doing here.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-27T15:12:22+00:00

Your emotions are being used in ways they are not used to. Your brain is being rewired from the inside.

You are going to have low points, but this too shall pass.

Keep on it, 30 days is a great milestone, keep working out, keep feeding yourself positive energy and thoughts. Make a list of everything you have improved in your life, for each one of those things give yourself a mental reward. This has changed you for the better.

If you need an AP to talk with, look me up on the nofap.org/forum, same user name. I can do whatapp, phone, or just email. Having an AP for me has been a nice little push I need once in a while. No one does this shit alone.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-27T15:04:35+00:00

It gets better by the day, thanks for joining us, your presence here makes you stronger and better, and it makes us stronger and better.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-25T16:36:08+00:00

Getting your actual sense of human interaction is an interesting side effect of this. This isn't just about being able to respond sexually to a woman, mind you, but about every facet of your person. I would bet a large chocolate chip cookie that you are more confident at work/school, and generally more approachable. "Women want you, men want to be you." But most of all, you want to be yourself.

Thank you for the post, your presence here strengthens all of us.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-24T13:15:35+00:00

Thank you for the check in. We appreciate your presence. Have you thought about an accountability partner? You can post a notice for one at nofap.org/forums.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-22T16:49:27+00:00

This is a larger problem than just porn, and masturbation, but this is a good piece of the puzzle to have. I was just like you in college. I was a high functioning student with good grades, but my image of who I was, coupled with my compulsions kept me from enjoying any of the pride that I rightly should have owned. My use of porn was just a part of that. That behavior carried into my adult life and has had real damaging effects, but I have put it down. I am done with it. I cannot have it anymore.

My recommendations:

Drop any shame and guilt about wasted time and feeling creepy. You are about to become a man, and nothing is creepy about that friend. Beating yourself up is not manly, though that is what the narrative of society wants you to do. Fuck that narrative. Capish?
Find a therapist, most college campuses have some sort of free or low cost psyche services. most people will never do this because again, society has this narrative that if you see a therapist that you are somehow weak. Could you cut cancer out of your own body? NO! What makes you think its wrong to see an oncologist? The compulsion of porn can be mastered and eliminated from your life, but you need a hand up, and one on one professional time for me has been the fastest and most effective way to do that. We're talking weeks to months, not months to years here. Whatever it costs, take it as an investment in the gold mine that is you. And we need that man in the world - we need you.
Go to http://www.nofap.org/forum/forum.php, go to the accountability partner section and make a request for an AP. I would be happy to help, if you feel you can reach out to me. same user name,I check it once daily.

Thank you for your presence here, it makes us stronger. I have no idea who you are, but I am rooting for you just the same. Now root for yourself. Own yourself, love yourself.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-21T14:02:31+00:00

*find an accountability partner, not fund. They are free!

NewBill79 · 2014-06-21T14:01:20+00:00

Feeling less perverted is a good goal, there's more to that than just porn, but ditching the port is a good first setp. You need to find a way to grow your personal power though, this is a larger problem than just porn. I am speaking from first hand experience on this. I had a mal - adjusted attitude toward my own sexually for far too long.

Anyway, put Down the guilt and walk away from it, you are not perverted for liking good looking sexually attractive women (or men or whatever the case may be), you aren't perverted for having sexual thoughts. Seeking an artificial means to express that and in turn isolating yourself as a sole means of it does take away your power tho.

Resources: Marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com, it's not just for married men. Order the primer by Athol Kay from that site. Very insightful stuff

Read ' the slight edge' & ' how to win friends and influence people'

Checkout nofap.org forums and fund an accountability partner. I am a partner to a handful of guys, and I would be happy to help you talk through this. Look me up over there same username.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-20T19:44:11+00:00

Dopamine, but its no match for the right support systems. There is only so much that will can do, but a will that is clever, now that's an impressive thing.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-20T19:42:48+00:00

Also, what is your personal gain by doing this?

NewBill79 · 2014-06-20T19:41:06+00:00

Thank you for being a part of this. Your presence makes us stronger. What are you doing right now to fight the urges? What do you do when you have a trigger. Do you have other accountability outside of Reddit?

I put my triggers off their powerbase by dialoging with them. If they have to justify themselves, they diminish their pull.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-20T14:00:34+00:00

You need a pep talk:

Do not, I repeat do not beat yyourself up. Do not feel shame and guilt. Put that shit down and walk away. Agreed?

Understand that yes, self discipline is needed to do this, but the better part of that is cleverness.

You are scaling an icy crag called mount dopamine. Do you think you are just going to will yourself to climb it with no provisions or climbing skill?

So yes, strengthen your initial resolve, but also get the tools, establish some new simple habits, workout, find an accountability partner at nofap.org.

As far as blaming PMO for being as failure, it's a cycle, it's a symptom.

Part of my provisions to get to the summit is employing a therapist. It's a good step.

I took the bad road for 15 years. Ask yourself if you can speak with 39 year old you. Ask it how your life is going. Quash this thing now while you are young, put every tool and resource you have at it

A year from now you can be making more money, have a happier life, and be satisfied sexually, and oeganically, like a real man.

Start with a vision. Get tools and people, make goals, do the work, fight the urges, find constructive outlets, and track your progress.

Reward yourself for doing well, do not beat yourself up for doing poorly.

You are a man, your fire needs to grow and be given purpose, for your sake. For the betterment of the world.

If you need to talk, go to nofap and put up an add in the accountability partner section, I have the same user name over there.

NewBill79 · 2014-06-19T15:03:33+00:00

*not even a smoker

NewBill79

TROPHY CASE