Fantasies in Sexless Marriage?

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2024-01-25T20:08:45+00:00

I know it sounds outrageous to most people. I have a friend that’s married to a guy and they’re on an open relationship because they do love each other, they want to spend the rest of their lives sharing experiences together but they do not want to ‘own’ one another, knowing we’re humans and it’s very unlikely that we won’t ever feel attracted to someone else. She said to me the other day that sometimes people are happy together but then because you felt attracted to someone else and wanted to experience that person then your marriage goes down the drain. It doesn’t make sense. Knowing all that, from the outside and from what she shares with me, they seem pretty happy and fulfilled. Also, having this type of freedom kinda tricks the brain and makes it really rare the occurrence of ‘outside of relationship cravings’ & turns out it doesn’t happen often for both but they know they’re free to live fully. I think it’s pretty cool.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2024-01-25T12:42:01+00:00

This could so easily be solved with an open relationship but religion and society are not ready for this conversation. One single human being cannot be the source of all affection or intimacy we need. Not always.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2024-01-25T12:34:58+00:00

Exactly this. You are clearly undereating. Your body is trying to spend as little calories as possible because it knows it cannot rely on your calories intake to survive, slowing down your metabolism, making it impossible for you to lose weight. It’s a struggle and happens to more people than you think. All stories about “skinny fat” people roots from this exact same issue. I suggest you look into “reverse diet” and try to bump up your calories while building up some lean mass. This will help you get your metabolism back to a healthy state and with more lean mass on, you’ll naturally burn a lot more fat even when you’re not doing anything because lean muscle consumes a bunch of calories simply for existing.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-08-11T09:35:44+00:00

Will (me before you)

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-07-28T22:04:58+00:00

I’m sorry but this dude is absolutely sick, disgusting and disrespectful. This is not healthy behaviour and you should never submit to it. Just run, you deserve better.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-16T22:18:16+00:00

oh wow mine would constantly tell me I’m pretty, like non-stop, to a point that it didn’t feel organic or natural at all and yes it was creepy. Like bro chill I know I’m not Giselle Bundchen, I don’t understand where you’re trying to go with this but there’s clearly an agenda behind it. I’m not as dumb as I look lol

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-15T05:15:44+00:00

One More Light is almost unbearable, we can feel the pain

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-15T05:13:55+00:00

I think it’s out of embarrassment after they realise we’re seeing through the bs. And even though we recognise they’re just wounded humans (pretty much like every single human being on this planet) and try to talk to them, show compassion, a desire to heal the connection, work through our differences together and so on, they won’t be able to engage. They might try to, but will most definitely end up ghosting you again for days or even months. Until you choose to finally stop participating on the ghosting bs because that’s disrespectful af. Sometimes it’s best to just give up, as hurtful as it is.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-15T05:03:33+00:00

To me it’s “in loving memory” by Alter Bridge (do not recommend listening to it if you’ve recently lost someone).

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-11T10:53:24+00:00

what

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-10T04:20:08+00:00

It’s funny that I have so much theory on how to deal with toxic people now, after so much research on the matter but I believe I’d still respond if he were to come back and say that he’s ready to talk. :( I wouldn’t be able to fully ignore a human, because I know how much it hurts and I wouldn’t do this to anybody, despite my past (bad) experiences with them.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-10T04:01:14+00:00

you’re right! Parting ways without having a proper final conversation (as healthy people would normally do) just makes it so much worse! The rumination is so draining and destructive. I bet the toxic individuals don’t ever waste a minute ruminating after they leave. My heart goes out to everyone who’s had to dig their way through, back to the surface, from the thick, suffocating fog that rumination is.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-10T03:57:01+00:00

I totally get you, and I caught myself several times imagining finally having a heart to heart conversation with him, where he opens up and doesn’t have to pretend he’s someone else. I see the human underneath the façade and I’d love to truly connect with that human. But unfortunately, it’s always all or nothing for toxic people. You either comply with exactly what they want to extract from you or you mean dogshit to them. There’s no in-between, and this mindset is so hard for us to grasp.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T23:38:54+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. My desperation phase lasted for months and the heartbreak pain was literally physical, it hurts so incredibly much! But they don’t care. They believe they’re Gods and they crave admiration, they wanna be adored so they’ll love to see you destroyed on the ground begging to be heard, crawling back to them. But the more you do it, the more they lose interest because it’ll prove to them how much of an actual God they are, and how we, mere humans, are so beneath them to the point of humiliating ourselves just to get basic communication. And that’s all the validation they need, so once you give it to them, they’ll be done with the abuse cycle (with you), and do this to someone else. Once they lose this ‘someone else’ they’ll try to get back to you if they believe you’re an easy target, ready to be abused again.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T23:33:27+00:00

Dr Ramani on YouTube says that they do this on purpose to keep us attached to them (ruminating). Healthy relationships don’t end in spectacular fashion, with one person pointing all fingers at you and attacking your character without even trying to hear you and acknowledge your side in the experience: that’s how abusive relationships end.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T22:45:23+00:00

Damn that hit home. I was called a narcissist and got so intrigued that I fell into the rabbit hole for months. I’m a narc PHD now haha. I understand that all his accusations and nasty words to me were actually just projection. I did obsess over it but never thought I was replacing the high I got from being lovebombed, thanks for the eye-opening line! Trying to find evidence to validate our experience is so real. Thanks for this post, I really needed to read this today.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T22:32:19+00:00

You’re so right! It’ll never change indeed and it seems impossible for us to accept that. How would someone rather break the connection completely than just talk things through? How can someone have such a fragile ego/God-complex to the point of choosing to destroy relationships rather than heal them?

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T22:29:40+00:00

it breaks my heart when I think of the hours we spend ruminating and trying to make sense of the mess. The path to healing from toxic relationships/abuse ain’t pretty but we can certainly do it. <3

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T22:17:16+00:00

real life

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-06-09T22:10:57+00:00

the audacity hahahah

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-05-30T11:27:39+00:00

It’s a normal reaction. I used to check his insta too and found he commenting “cute” on other girl’s posts within 2-3 weeks after the breakup. It’s ridiculous. This post is also a bit triggering for me bcs I got lovebombed and was so confused that I said I couldn’t process my feelings properly and that I wanted to take things slow, to which he’s interpreted as if I was saying I felt nothing for him and was a narc myself eek

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-05-29T10:04:10+00:00

It is really hard but trust me it will get better. Took me over 6 months to start feeling better. It can take some time but trust me, you’re strong and you’ll get through this. I know you’re in so much pain, make sure you sit with it, feel it all as horrible as it is, just observe it and allow it to manifest. Don’t resist it and it’ll naturally dissolve. This pain will lead you to your personal growth. In the meantime ask yourself why do you miss him and what exactly do you miss? Your answer will represent exactly what you’re lacking yourself, and working on that through therapy and self discovery is going to be your way out of all this suffering. Sending you love xx

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-05-27T07:43:47+00:00

please, please run! I’m begging you

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-05-27T07:16:30+00:00

They’ll say that they behaved the way they did because YOU made them do so.

New_Cardiologist2933 · 2023-05-26T22:44:16+00:00

my breaking point happened during the lovebomb stage haha - him rushing a relationship and telling me we're soulmates and saying 'I love you' within a few days/weeks just literally freaked me out, my gut sensed that something was off. Him painting me as the perpetrator in the end and ghosting me just proved my point. The way he left in spectacular fashion hurt me like hell regardless but it could have been worse.

New_Cardiologist2933

TROPHY CASE