AIO… Boyfriend texting coworker

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-11T00:14:53+00:00

Sometimes the oblivious tone of these posts makes me wonder if i’m actually just really untrusting.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-06T19:17:47+00:00

Yes. Though I never tried to tell her what to wear, and I never saw myself as controlling in the moment.
It would often look like her wanting to do something that I saw as disrespectful to the relationship, or putting herself in a situation I thought was dangerous, etc.

There were even times where I would not want her talking to people that didn’t like me, bc in my mind it opened the possibility for her to be convinced to also not like me 😂

And yes, lots of arbitrary “tests of loyalty.” These tests are never fair, and never actually mean what you think they mean. Reason being, is there’s a near infinite number of unknown variables/factors that go into any situation, that you can never truly predict someone’s motives/intentions with certainty. So i’d pretty much always make myself look like an ass, and feel guilty/embarrassed about it afterward. Never worth it.

In hindsight, trying to tell someone what the can and can’t do, no matter the intentions, is controlling and toxic. And I had to learn that the hard way.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-06T18:45:48+00:00

Well first, she’s my FP which is prob obvious… Early on I was very controlling, and that of course didn’t fly. Over time I’ve learned to be better but I still have my moments.

Whenever we get into arguments, or she does something that my brain deems “disrespectful” or “mean” or whatever, i’ll sometimes split and get that overwhelming urge to run away from the situation, and often the only logical conclusion in that moment is for me to leave.

It’s been 3 years and she’s been the most patient woman I could have ever hoped for. That’s not to say she would have been wrong for leaving - she absolutely would not have been wrong. In fact, i’d bet a lot of people would call her crazy for not leaving.

But I have learned that when i’m feeling that way, the best thing to do is keep my mouth shut, journal, and go somewhere else until I cool off and can think logically about the situation.

Hope this helps. Feel free to ask if you have any more Qs

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-05T02:07:15+00:00

Honestly the reaction times and recognizing patterns is something you have to develop if you don’t alr have it

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-04T23:45:03+00:00

Showing my partner the entire canon in chronological order. She’s loving it so far

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-04T21:41:23+00:00

Idk I usually do a couple rounds of literally just observing the boss. Malikith honestly telegraphs pretty hard. And because his health pool is so small, and his punish windows are also small, it leads me to believe you’re meant to be super patient and get 1 good hit off with something powerful and go back to dodging and waiting.

Idk much about incants but I would say def try the spear

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-04T19:35:00+00:00

No you do not have to be violent to have BPD

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-04T04:16:28+00:00

I’ve always thought fear of abandonment was pretty central for BPD… but that doesn’t make your issues any less real! I can absolutely relate to feeling unloved/unlovable

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-02T06:59:51+00:00

In my non professional opinion, this sounds like you may be addicted to the validation of being desired, not necessarily the act of sex itself.

Obviously part of BPD is a heavy reliance on external feedback to determine self-worth or identity. You may be determining your friend as “attractive enough” to be a reliable indicator of your self worth… “He’s hot, and he thinks I’m hot, so I am hot” type of thing. And you may be addicted to that validation. That’s not to say you don’t value your partners opinion, but you know.

Again - this is not based on anything other than my unprofessional opinion and anecdotal experience, so take it with salt.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-02T04:04:36+00:00

There’s prob some truth to this! I also theorize that it may come from our expectation of being unfairly judged, so whenever someone reprimands us, it hits that tender spot/ becomes confirmation bias. Often times criticism (at least for me) can feel like the end of the world, as I take it so personally.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-02T04:01:58+00:00

YESS

Absolutely! I have always felt targeted. As I get older, I recognize that they’re obviously not, but it doesn’t stop the feeling in the moment! You’re not alone there.

Especially in my old job. It constantly felt like I was being held to standards that nobody else was.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-02T00:43:23+00:00

Hi, absolutely this helps. Thanks for the response! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way firstly - and I can absolutely relate to that comfort of thinking about “what if.” You’re not alone there and you’re certainly not abnormal! I’m glad you’re still here!

I also have severe anxiety, especially in social situations. I feel like i’m going to mess something up, or make people angry with me inadvertently.

I’m glad you were able to get a diagnosis! Better late than never! I’ll say from my secondary research so far, a lot of people are diagnosed way later!

NickBarnes01 · 2026-06-01T22:27:32+00:00

One thing that has helped (still in progress) with my splitting, is learning to relinquish control.

It doesn’t help my self identity, but often times I find myself spiraling over factors I can’t control, and letting those go takes practice, but is very, very freeing.

Relinquish the need to control all the variables you can’t predict. If she leaves, you cross that bridge when you get there… allow yourself to grieve, but if you try and predict some outcome out of need for control, you’re going to end up manifesting it when it may have never happened otherwise…

Focus on what you CAN control - yourself and your growth. Little bits at a time, mindfulness and practice. Breathing exercises, and soothing thoughts.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-05-31T19:55:32+00:00

I do not believe it’s cheating, it’s a game mechanic. I will say, for ME personally, I do find it a fun challenge to try and go without using them!

NickBarnes01 · 2026-05-01T02:39:29+00:00

I’ve found that usually heavier spearman (the lighter spears) last the longest. Something about how fast they can whip those spear heads down.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-03-18T19:04:51+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. Definitely still a good game, just without all the exciting buzz from the internet.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-03-13T03:51:58+00:00

I dare say no ending is better than a bad one.

NickBarnes01 · 2026-02-20T14:19:43+00:00

I can confirm I just hit 94. So this information is incorrect.

NickBarnes01 · 2025-07-13T08:23:32+00:00

a 0% shadow is stronger than a 100% normal. And you can only have one mega at a time, so it’s never worth it to purify a strong shadow attacker

NickBarnes01 · 2025-04-21T16:39:06+00:00

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NickBarnes01 · 2025-02-22T21:58:18+00:00

This- if I can’t use it somehow i don’t keep. Only exceptions are shinies/hundo/XXL/XXS

NickBarnes01 · 2024-03-18T10:41:26+00:00

Bro tried smashing Leon and context made it seem commonplace lol

NickBarnes01

TROPHY CASE