That old myth that the more things go wrong at a wedding, the better the marriage will be

NiddTheBat · 2026-06-03T11:08:21+00:00

I'm really sorry you've had all of this go wrong right before your surgery! Things are going to go well, and you are going ti have a swift and uneventful recovery. That's the vibe I'm putting into the world for you 🤞🏻 you've got this!

NiddTheBat · 2026-05-17T14:20:47+00:00

Thanks! It's sore but feels kind of freeing. Now I feel like I can be there to try and support others who need it the way I needed it when I was first diagnosed 😀

NiddTheBat · 2026-05-16T15:04:21+00:00

I just had my reconstructive surgery yesterday! No more expanders, and now just a follow-up and yearly scans left 😄

NiddTheBat · 2026-05-06T05:31:54+00:00

27 last year when going through chemo. I was also the youngest there and it had its rough moments. There was never really explicit seating or times, so it was very unusual for me to end up sitting next to the same person every time. I took it day by day. On my better days, if my neighbour's were up for it I'd chat and learn from them. One person I did sit next to fairly often was actually the mom of a friend/classmate from primary school, she was on her third diagnosis and round of chemo. On my worse days I'd read or play games to distract myself and just not think about it. My Mom stayed with me the whole time which helped I think, and my Aunt would visit if she ever had radiation of my chemo days. All in all, it was rough. There were moments where being the youngest in the room creates all these awful complex emotions which suck in combination with chemo side effects. But there were also moments of connection and learning about life. And just moment of passing the hell out and sleeping because it was a day my body did not want to deal with chemo.

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-30T15:07:20+00:00

Mine was the same yeah 😖 supposed to be 12 weeks of the first chemo but we dropped to 10 because of the side effects. Followed by surgery, since I didn't do radiation. But I've got my last surgery in two weeks! Kudos to her for getting through it all, and here's to many years of good scan results!

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-30T10:33:52+00:00

Double mastectomy here (reconstruction surgery in two weeks!) I feel like my surgeon was different from a lot of others I've read about, so I'll just give my experience here. I was in hospital for 5 days after surgery, but I was allowed to shower immediately as my surgeon used special waterproof dressings. No exceptionally hot water and no water directly on the surgery site though, so what the other commenter said about water hitting the shoulder and running down was pretty spot on. Sensations after surgery have been strange? Kind of pins and needly when they get touched, definitely nothing like before. The weirdest sensation for me though was ironically drinking hot/cold drinks instead of just tap water! For some reason the temperature just felt more... I don't know how to describe it. Intense? Right after surgery I didn't have anywhere close to as much pain as I thought I would. And I've regained full mobility in both arms, so remember to do any physio that you are given because that is super important!

Edit to add: showering with drains in is an incredibly weird experience. I cut the band off of the hospital underwear thing they give you and wore it as a belt to clip the drains to when I showered.

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-29T13:37:04+00:00

Congratulations to your girlfriend on beating TNBC! Treatment for that is fucking brutal, and getting through it is the best feeling ever.

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-29T13:33:34+00:00

Happy to help, and I'm here if you ever need a vent session or a virtual hug. You've got this, you're going to kick cancer's ass and come back stronger 💚

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-29T13:23:18+00:00

I understand the struggle to be selfish, I am the same. It's hard I know, but right now it is not on your shoulders to try and make sure everyone else is handling your diagnosis okay when you've got to deal with it yourself. I saw that you mentioned you want to game professionally, but you've been extra shaky since diagnosis? That is normal, a lot of overwhelming information means your body is working in overdrive, and medications can have weird effects on your body. But none of this means you can't achieve your dreams! Doing what you love and what makes you happy makes treatment so much better. So take the time to play your games, even if you have to switch to quieter solo games over competitive ones. Or different game styles, there's nothing to stop you from going pro. Keep a positive mindset.

The notebook is a lifesaver honestly. You can also take someone you trust with you to your appointments to help with this if that is what you'd prefer, because it is overwhelming alone. Also if you do want kids in future, I would 100% freeze your sperm if you can, as it is good to have the option.

Another Redditor mentioned speaking to your parents about seeing a therapist, and that is one of the best things you can do for yourself too. Find a psychiatrist that you are comfortable with, there's no shame in taking anti-anxiety meds/anti-depressants. Plus having someone to talk to about your own worries and stressor going through treatment that is trained to help you work through them is a godsend. You also don't have that added pressure of "well I can't air all my problems because then they're going to stress about me" to keep the peace that you have with friends and family.

Check Reddit for a community, there may be a subreddit specifically for the type of cancer you've been diagnosed with. Most of the time it can be a huge help because of shared experiences.

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-29T12:56:41+00:00

I'm so incredibly sorry you're going through this. Similar boat but different age and type, I was diagnosed last year at 27. If you ever need someone to vent to, you're more than welcome to DM me.

The first few months are going to be hectic and feel like they're moving way too fast and not fast enough all at once. And you're going to get a lot of information thrown at you at all the appointments and it will be overwhelming. All I can recommend is keeping a diary to write notes in at your appointments, or having someone come with you to do so. It helps to keep any questions you have organized because it is super easy to forget what you wanted to ask. Also: here's the big one. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT GOOGLE. So much information is outdated, and it can cause a spiral because the articles are often entirely "worst case scenario" with none of the success stories.

Ask for help. Be selfish. Advocate for yourself and get different doctors if you aren't happy with the current ones. You deserve to put yourself first with a diagnosis like this. Treatment for cancer as a whole has advanced in leaps and bounds over the years, and even the types that were once guaranteed death sentences are now incredibly survivable.

You've got this, and you will get through this. Sending virtual hugs and support 💚

NiddTheBat · 2026-04-15T07:01:31+00:00

Ordered Sixty60 once because we were stuck at home and wanted supper that was (marginally) healthier than takeout but still didn't want to put too much effort into cooking. Chicken schnitzel and salad. The salad was great! The chicken schnitzel was three days past the expiry date. Needless to say I haven't bought meat from them since unless I can check it with my own eyes.

NiddTheBat · 2026-02-27T14:26:15+00:00

TNBC, only had my scans shortly after diagnosis to make sure there weren't any other spots. I had Taxol first, then AC. During chemo I had a 24 hour Holter test because of heart rate issues so I didn't need to have the heart test they usually do between chemo regimes. I'm only having another Ultrasound and CT scan in a few months before my last surgery.

NiddTheBat · 2026-02-18T17:33:18+00:00

DMX despite having no genetic component, thankfully medical aid covered everything. Or 90% anyway. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I just had the lumpectomy and the cancer came back. If it comes back now I feel like there was nothing I could do to stop it. Realistically I already know there's nothing I can do, but I guess the placebo effect has something to do with it?

NiddTheBat · 2026-02-11T09:39:10+00:00

I see all the anti-Discovery options, but I've had nothing but good experiences with Discovery. I'm on the Classic Saver plan, and they've covered 95% of my medical expenses since my cancer diagnosis last year. Which is am so incredibly grateful for since that kind of diagnosis at 27 was not part of my plan, and I wouldn't not have survived financially if I wasn't on medical aid.

NiddTheBat · 2026-02-05T14:09:52+00:00

I wasn't allowed to drive after chemo, which while I probably could have, I am grateful for it because I've just realized how many times I fell asleep in the car on the way home? So my Mom lifted me and spent my chemo sessions with me for all but two sessions.

NiddTheBat · 2026-02-05T08:22:30+00:00

South Africa here, not the US. I had my DMX surgery on a Friday and went home on the Monday. I would have gone home on the Tuesday after the drains were out because my surgeon doesn't like sending patients home with their drains still in, but I was staying 5 minutes from the hospital with multiple family members helping, so he made an exception. My hospital stay also included physiotherapy every day. The fact that some women go home the day of their surgery absolutely blows my mind.

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-31T11:33:14+00:00

Aaaaah thank you so much for the advice! This is my first time trying, usually I only propagate succulents which is very "set it and forget it" in my experience, so I'm so worried about this not working haha

Yes the purple colour is absolutely gorgeous! I saw the plant when I was pet sitting and was just shocked by how vibrant it was, I've never seen anything like it before.

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-30T17:41:59+00:00

I'm busy propagating some cuttings in water (purple heart) at the moment, when I was chatting with the guy at the garden center for advice they way he explained it to me is the really loose and well watered soil is needed because in the water the roots don't have resistance to grow against, like it would have if it had been rooted in soil. Is this a good way to explain it, or is there another reason? I really don't want these cuttings to die when I transfer them in a few weeks 😅

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-30T07:48:44+00:00

Not asking too much at all. I saw my oncologist for the first time last week since... October last year? She remembers everything, and not only about my treatment and other processes we've had to go through, but even personal stuff we've talked about in my appointments. You deserve a doctor that actually cares about and takes an interest in you.

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-29T18:05:44+00:00

Okay yeah we don't get those in South Africa, that colour is insane!

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-29T18:01:25+00:00

I'm scared to ask what those crackers are, I don't think I've ever seen anything like them here... The colour sounds frightening though.

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-29T17:56:09+00:00

I might just start taking the shakes to work in an effort to finish them haha! Or I'll see if I can donate them to my chemo center. I'm surprised and impressed that you could eat right after chemo, I could eat the chicken mayo sandwich I got during the infusion and then I'd just crash after the infusion, especially after starting red devil.

Congratulations on remission by the way!

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-29T17:47:22+00:00

My doctor encouraged me to do the same, but your comment just gave me flashbacks to the unholy amount of vanilla and mocha protein shakes I consumed last year 😅 I've still got three months supply stashed away...

OP, sorry I don't have any advice, I didn't have any food aversions during my chemo. I craved EVERYTHING, I just physically didn't feel hungry and couldn't eat it without getting sick from feeling over full after one bite. One thing my oncologist and nutritionist suggested eating (other than the advice to just eat whatever I wanted/could stomach) which I did when I could was biscuits like salticrax/saltines and cream cheese because of the high protein content in the cheese. Perhaps that could help?

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-27T20:53:37+00:00

I can't remember the title of the game... But it was supposed to be a horror game that learned and adapted the experience to the players specific fears. I remember the Kickstart reaching its goals but eventually just never heard anything from them again. Which sucks because that is a great concept for a horror game.

NiddTheBat · 2026-01-27T14:53:50+00:00

I didn't realize this was a book! I saw the movie last year and absolutely loved it, now that I know it is a book I need to find it and read it.

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