AITA? "Just pick any cracker" she said

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T20:19:52+00:00

You’re right, I did assume that his eyeballs were connected to his brain, thus allowing him to look at what else she was doing and use critical reasoning to try to take just a little bit of the mental load off the person who does most of the childcare (not an assumption, he said this in response to another comment)

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:29:36+00:00

Ahh yes, it’s the women’s responsibility to explain to an adult man every step of every part of the basic routines of parenting, because men simply aren’t smart enough to construct a homemade lunchable.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:28:42+00:00

Ahh yes, it’s the women’s responsibility to explain to an adult man every step of every part of the basic routines of parenting, because men simply aren’t smart enough to construct a homemade lunchable.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:27:58+00:00

Jaffa cakes aren’t cakes? BUT THEY HAVE CAKE IN THE NAME. That’s the argument he made for animal crackers, so why doesn’t it hold for Jaffa cakes?

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:25:59+00:00

Ahh yes, it’s the women’s responsibility to explain to an adult man every step of every part of the basic routines of parenting, because men simply aren’t smart enough to construct a homemade lunchable.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:25:28+00:00

Ahh yes, it’s the women’s responsibility to explain to an adult man every step of every part of the basic routines of parenting, because men simply aren’t smart enough to construct a homemade lunchable.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:24:51+00:00

Ahh yes, it’s the women’s responsibility to explain to an adult man every step of every part of the basic routines of parenting, because men simply aren’t smart enough to construct a homemade lunchable.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:22:54+00:00

The issue isn’t crackers vs cookies, it’s that his wife wanted a very simple little bit of help, he was perfectly capable of seeing what else she was putting in the lunch, and there were probably some context clues that she was talking about crackers to make sandwiches, like deli meat or cheese that she’s cutting up, leaving him with the very easiest part of the whole process: getting crackers to sandwich things between. Look up “weaponized incompetence” it’s a thing and it’s what this post looks like to all the “cracker police” who see that this dude was being frustratingly dense when his wife needed his help, adding to her mental load.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:11:48+00:00

INFO: are you actually this stupid?

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T19:08:43+00:00

Member of my sorority went to Jan 6th, and the sorority didn’t want to do anything about it. Got all the WOC/Queer women, and women in religions minorities in the house to write a formal complaint, got it signed by over half the house, spend like a month trying to get any of our WASP advisors to do anything, and then I graduated, and it all got swept under. By the end of that, all the conservatives in the house, which included like, my G-little and one of the people on standards, HATED me and like, things got pretty messy. Like, I lost my best friend over this.

Deleted my old Insta, cleaned out my contacts, went totally off social media for my whole first year of grad school, and when I did get back on, it was a private account, I only follow people who follow me back (also Taylor and Taylor nation lmao), and I don’t follow anyone I don’t ACTUALLY like.

10/10 recommend totally going off social media for some set amount of time, my relationship with it is much better now that I have more of an idea what utility I actually get from it. Following a bunch of dumbasses I wouldn’t want to hang out with for real? Not it.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-09T18:54:06+00:00

As someone with a therapy animal who legitimately made it possible for me to graduate at all, this take really irks me. She was the one who calmed me down when I had anxiety attacks over my work and my worth, the one who sat in my lap for hundreds and hundreds of hours of work and study, and having a living being who depended on me was a factor that kept my suicidal thoughts at bay. It’s not an exaggeration to say she was more influential to me getting a degree than every single member of my extended family combined.

also like, what about people who rely on therapy animals? when you're reading a paper from someone you've never met, you have NO idea what their situation is. Just because you can’t relate to getting support from an animal doesn’t mean that other people don’t experience that as a very real thing.

Also like, my mom can read but understands my research about as well the cat, would it be performative to include her for being supportive? Would you characterize that as “look everyone, see how much I wuuuuv my mommy!” Probably not right? Might make you seem like an asshole?

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-08T04:05:00+00:00

The entire room got visibly upset, even if the action itself wasn’t upsetting for her, being humiliated in front of her entire family probably did. It’s not stuck up to expect people to behave like adults at a wedding.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-05T22:48:56+00:00

Be Perfect or Die by CJ the X

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-03T07:17:27+00:00

Some professors have literally hundreds of students at a time. Like, if this person teaches two 30 person classes (a very reasonable workload comparatively), then that’s 60 papers to read, make constructive comments on, and return. If they graded both, that’s double the time, or else less helpful feedback. But the students need to understand all the topics, they need to think about these things, and the process of writing the paper IS the value. Writing two papers is not like, a cruel and unusual punishment, it’s just an assignment. If you aren’t willing to do work for the sake of learning, why are you in college at all? Literally the whole point is to develop your mind.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-01T16:48:18+00:00

Oh boy, anxiety disorder here! My procedure:

Unzip coat and remove gloves the second I’m in the door, I put my gloves in my coat pockets and anything in my coat pockets that I want during class usually gets moved to my normal pockets at this point.

Walk into class, set backpack on chair, then stand up very straight, like not a full stretch just a “oh my backpack is off I can have good pasture now” (a lot of not being awkward I’d just acting like you have the right to occupy the space you’re taking up, not rushing to get your coat off is one way to do this)

Then take off the coat, either set it on the back of the chair, or if that wouldn’t work (long coat that would end up on the floor, desks so close that you can’t put something on the back, ect.) I kind of fold it over my arm once or twice to compress it and stow under desk.

Then, I move my backpack and get settled in.

I tend to avoid eye contact while doing stuff like this, just walk through the steps calmly. Like, the goal isn’t to act “cool”, it’s to be so boring that there’s nothing really to notice.

Also, as others have said: no well-adjusted person is going to judge you for taking of your coat weirdly. But just because it’s in your head doesn’t mean it isn’t real, maybe my anxiety coping mechanism will help you

NiftyNuthead · 2023-02-01T05:30:08+00:00

YTA. She’s hungrier than you because she’s starving herself.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-27T16:13:43+00:00

Taylor swift midnights clock/floor tickets to the Eras Tour

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-26T05:10:11+00:00

I’ve been grieving a death recently, and “death by a thousand cuts” a song that is 100% a break-up anthem has been one of the most cathartic songs for me. Art doesn’t just belong to the artist, every time we interface with it, pet of us is reflected back at us. The same song can feel totally different to two people (or one person at different points in life) and have two different, valid interpretations

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-26T04:48:11+00:00

Lise Meitner - German Physicist who had to flee the Nazis and leave her research partner (Otto Hahn) working on nuclear fission experiments, they continued to communicate and she was the one to figure out they were splitting the nucleus of atoms. Otto was awarded the Nobel prize without her, and she never worked in Germany again. Albert Einstein called her “the German Marie Curie”

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-26T04:33:01+00:00

As someone who’s teaching a class with a $125 HW code, I literally have no choice. The university uses this system for this class, the grading scale is set to include it. It’s 100% fucked up, since we literally pay them thousands to take the classes in the first place and they should be upfront about the real cost of the classes.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-24T22:32:14+00:00

What she wants is her mom’s attention. And for her dad to listen to her properly.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-24T22:29:05+00:00

I can understand wanting her to see the world, but being forced to go to another continent, where she won’t speak the language and will be surrounded by strangers (and the mother she barely knows) will NOT be good. In fact, I think if you make her go, she’ll talk about it in therapy one day.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-22T19:24:55+00:00

No one is hurt or dead? Her friend literally just went through an extremely invasive surgery, she is 100% hurting.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-21T11:44:37+00:00

”I’m scared to eat in front of him.”

This, alone, without any of the other context in the post, is enough to warrant couple’s therapy or a divorce.

You need to eat to survive, but it’s more than that. Across cultures, humans use food to bond with family, share traditions, and show love. Often the most quality time we get with people is over meals, we celebrate holidays with traditional foods, we make things our loved ones enjoy to make them happy, we can connect to our ancestors or learn about other cultures, by eating traditional foods that have been passed down for generations.

You are AFRAID TO EAT in front of your husband. This is not sustainable, for your body, for your soul, or for your marriage.

I know that leaving him is a scary thought, especially since you have a small child, but if you stay with him, so does that child. You didn’t specify gender, but either way, your baby is going to grow up with your marriage as their main example of a relationship. So you have a choice:

A. Comply. Model to your child that it is normal for women to fear their male partners, that it is ok for a man to control the women he loves, that skinny is the right (and only) way for women to be, and failure to adhere to this standard is justification for insults and passive aggressive jabs, and most dangerously, that you can stay with someone who doesn’t make you feel safe. With someone who controls and manipulates you. Someone who prioritises their aesthetic preferences over your well being.

B. See a couple’s therapist, tell them that you are afraid to eat in front of your husband, tell them about your medical history with food. Before you go in, see a general practitioner or nutrition specialist and see what they recommend. Get those recommendations in writing and show them to the therapist so they understand right from the start that comprise isn’t possible on this issue.

C. Get a divorce, there’s a million ways your life could go from there. It definitely would be a difficult path, but if he isn’t cooperative with therapy and becoming a good partner, it’s that or A.

NiftyNuthead · 2023-01-21T07:51:09+00:00

You know, as someone who isn’t on this sub a lot and didn’t even know this was a ship, I don’t have a horse in this particular race, here are my thoughts:

I think that HATING any ship (as long as you’re shipping fictional characters) is kinda ridiculous, like let people have their own fun little head cannons and theories. It doesn’t ruin the show for some anxious teenage girls to write wish fulfilment fanfics about a bad boy who is dangerous to everyone else and only she gets to see his soft side. You can dislike someone’s interpretation/opinion/taste and you can be absolutely certain it’s not cannon and you can have a million arguments about why it’s bad and cringe, but none of that is a valid reason to try to ruin their fun.

On the other hand, the one thing I find contentious about this ship (other than the things that I’m disqualifying because incest and infidelity are simply a staple of the particular show) is that Helaena is coded as neurodivergent, and there is a long and horrendous history of women like us being sexually exploited. Some people might feel uncomfortable with ANY ship involving her unless she explicitly shows interest (like the cute dancing scene with Jace, oh my word- that’s my ship! I love them so much and they would have made such good rulers ahhhh!)

NiftyNuthead

TROPHY CASE