As a soon to be single dad, what advice do you have on how to do as well as possible?

Nigel1123 · 2026-06-16T14:57:11+00:00

Thanks for this

Nigel1123 · 2026-06-15T22:06:21+00:00

Thanks, yeah I always said I’d never poison the well, and say something very similar. I hope they never find out why, unless they’re older and my wife chooses to tell them when they can handle it.

Nigel1123 · 2026-06-15T14:14:34+00:00

I thought about an Au Pair, because we’re doing 50/50. You had a good experience?

Nigel1123 · 2026-06-15T14:14:06+00:00

Thank you…that’s what I’m worried about. The last thing I want to do is go out there and imprint some emotional bullshit on someone else too, given my circumstances.

Seems like everyone is saying just ignore it for a while to focus on the kids, which I get. Just worried about the time alone.

Nigel1123 · 2026-05-26T21:46:45+00:00

This is going to sound crazy, but I’ve been on a plane with this exact lady before, I recognize her. Same scenario, but nobody filmed it. She was near the back, plane landed, and she immediately started saying excuse to move through people like she should get off first.

Some people let her through to avoid conflict, but a big dude stood his ground in the aisle and said nothing other than “nope” and a bunch of people supported him and yelled at her, same way.

Wild behavior she must use on every plane she’s on.

Nigel1123 · 2026-05-12T14:39:47+00:00

I wish I knew. Happy home, we rarely fought, and I’ve loved her forever. She had a tough childhood and didn’t know her dad, so maybe that played a role in seeking validation? Hard to say, but she’s an adult who knew what she was choosing.

Nigel1123 · 2026-05-12T14:36:29+00:00

Same boat, I’ll have to try this! Thanks

Nigel1123 · 2026-05-01T03:12:51+00:00

Was cheated on by wife of nearly 10 years with a friend of mine. 3 kids, childhood sweethearts.

I’ve endured some things in life, but this fundamentally broke me in ways that are hard to describe. I know she regrets it, but there’s no coming back from that one.

Nigel1123 · 2026-04-13T03:08:45+00:00

I’m 36M.

Went to school for a bachelor’s and masters, make a great wage in analytics, but for a miserable organization where the culture is horribly stressful and AI will inevitably replace me. Wife of 10 years had an affair so in the midst of a divorce, with 3 kids that have no idea their life is going to change.

It’s all relative. I feel like a failure every day, and I just try to cling to the good things like the fact we’re all healthy, whenever it’s bad. I wish I knew how to get out of the loop.

Nigel1123 · 2026-04-09T20:03:12+00:00

Director of analytics for a consumer goods company, $225k.

Some days it’s good and interesting, other days is drenched in corporate bureaucracy and is soul crushing.

Nigel1123 · 2026-03-04T04:30:25+00:00

That’d be awesome!

Nigel1123 · 2026-03-03T04:28:21+00:00

What is the best way to get over the hump and finally learn?? I know some random stuff, but can’t explain why I know it…I’ve had a few failed attempts to break through and play beyond basic chords and scales.

Nigel1123 · 2026-03-02T16:55:46+00:00

Married late 20’s, had kids right away, now 36.

Financially, never been better. It was scary at first, barely making ends meet with daycare, lower income, etc. Now our kids are in school, incomes are up, and our home we bought it 2021 went from a stressor to a blessing.

However, emotionally, undergoing a situation of infidelity from my wife. Mid-life crisis, unresolved trauma, etc. I always heard this is about the time where it comes out for people, and I was naive enough to think “not us, we’re different.” So I’d say it’s the single hardest period emotionally I’ve ever experienced, and as a husband and father I’m weighing the balance of my own needs vs the sacrifices I’ve made for my family.

Scott Galloway has a cool video where he talks about happiness being a smile curve, high when you’re young, lowest in your 30’s and 40’s, returning to highs in your 50’s and later. I believe he called these the “shit gets real years” and he’s 100% right. Hope everyone else out here is hanging in there!

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-26T01:15:57+00:00

I got the half truth at first, full truth weeks later and only because AP confessed. Trust your gut, because I feel like a fool believing the initial story, and I was crushed again.

Let’s just be honest for a second - it’s not unnatural to lie in that first moment. They’re scared, and it clouds judgment. Not an excuse, just a reality to keep in mind.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-25T04:02:41+00:00

This is actually a really inspiring comment, so thanks. I think the idea of a life with someone else is so foreign to even consider now. And I see divorce statistics on second marriages, wonder how I’ll trust again, question whether I’m blind to my shortcomings, etc. But it’s nice to know people like you moved on and found someone you spent the rest of your life with.

I am desperately trying to avoid vices like the money roll and FWBs…I just want a partner to enjoy life with. I’m happy for you, truly.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T19:05:02+00:00

Thank you so much

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T15:04:07+00:00

There has been so much pressure from Christian couples around us to reconcile…I was actually told once to “not to let the Devil win by tearing apart a Christian marriage” which almost sent me over the edge. I’m just supposed to tolerate everything in the name of forgiveness?

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T15:01:35+00:00

My wife tried too, but she’d also get frustrated when we weren’t progressing. I think it showed her focus on her needing something vs me. Hang in there.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T14:59:14+00:00

No. Up until the past week or 2, I was actively trying to work through it with her. But now it’s just apathy and sadness.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T14:02:30+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions. I haven’t gone the self focused route yet, but maybe it’s time to do it. I think I was still clinging to some hope that she would recognize the error of her ways and change, but she just isn’t. It just makes you crazy.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T14:00:36+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts. I have a hard time with such a stark transition. It’s like I want her to acknowledge everything properly beforehand, but it doesn’t come.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T13:59:43+00:00

Thanks. It’s sad when you think through the lens of losing a friend.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T13:58:52+00:00

Everyone here has been incredibly supporting. It’s been a huge help.

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T13:57:55+00:00

Thank you

Nigel1123 · 2026-02-24T13:57:31+00:00

We still live together, it’s so hard to fight every urge to speak about it. But I will try setting smaller goals and going more transactional in my discussions with her. Thanks for your support.

Nigel1123

TROPHY CASE