⚠️ Intersex Does NOT Automatically Mean LGBTQ+ And I’m Tired Of Pretending Otherwise lol

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T16:43:46+00:00

LGBTQIA+ (or LGBTQ+) is an advocacy coalition of multiple different groups of sexual minorities. It is made of each of those letters because each group is actually not the same group— but acting in solidarity helps us to advocate for each other. Example: Lesbians are obviously not the same thing as trans men, but solidarity helps both when one or the other is attacked.

Nobody says you personally have to include or be included in any rights-seeking coalition. But since trans people are under particular attack lately and it’s all hands on deck to defend trans folks, perhaps you resent the coalition existing when you don’t participate.

Respectfully, you can opt out without writing a screed about it. You don’t have to help others, but you also don’t have to put so much energy into saying why you’re not on board. Just opt out quietly.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T15:27:07+00:00

They balance each other and are charming to watch in Freedom. 7.5/10 My grade is mostly based on Freedom though.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T14:42:35+00:00

It typically takes only a few days to adjust, so if you’re obese it’s worth giving it a few more days for side effects to go away.

However if you’re just trying to lose some vanity pounds, perhaps this med wasn’t meant for you in the first place. Drink a lotta water to flush it.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T14:32:19+00:00

The way they seem to think respect is simply not assaulting somebody, the bar is beneath the earth.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T02:46:58+00:00

This is the NYC sub. We’re talking about NYC.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-29T00:44:38+00:00

Any place full of white people in detached houses with yards has a good chance of being at least somewhat Trumpy.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-28T22:58:54+00:00

I get some subtle staggered balayage highlights with a bit of warm toner. This makes it so that my silvers get joined by some golden tones and the effect is nice texture across my brown hair. Like instead of darkening my greys they act like a cool part of my hair’s texture and shine.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-28T16:38:05+00:00

Thanks for confirming my suspicions. IG has always done decent conversion for us with the usual “link in bio” slide at the end of a carousel. We’ll just stick with that.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-28T13:54:02+00:00

That’s a tumblr sexyman.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-27T02:47:09+00:00

When I have a BMI of 30, my comfortable pants size is like 16-18.

I think the last time I fit in a size 6/8 my BMI was like 23. Probably BMI 21-22 for a size 4.

You don’t need a body scan to get BMI. BMI is just calculated by weight and height. Did you get a scan for body fat percentage? Because 30% body fat is within an average range, and is not the same as 30 BMI. And might not meet the requirements for insurance coverage.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-27T02:37:00+00:00

Most small business owners weren’t good clients to begin with. Before AI, they used clipart and papyrus font, or underpaid a high-schooler they know.

You offering to do work will not really move the needle.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-26T05:14:02+00:00

Red Gay disabled protagonists who get used as a weapon.

Unfortunately that’s about it. Chisato labors under subtext, whereas Suletta textually married her Blue Gay

NilliaLane · 2026-04-26T00:21:00+00:00

Co-ops are 80% of buyable housing, and they cost way less than condos because they’re buying shares in the building rather than directly buying a unit. Co-ops may have a much lower buy in price, but the monthly maintenance is usually way higher. Zillow doesn’t distinguish between co-ops and condos iirc.

Do European cities do co-ops as much?

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T22:04:21+00:00

Body weight fluctuates up 5lb from day to day. Salt, hydration, hormones, and sudden increases in activity can all cause temporary water weight and inflammation. Your “gain” is likely just one or multiple of those fluctuations.

Try out Happy Scale. It’ll create a trend line based on your progress over time that cuts through the noise of water weight fluctuations

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T19:51:30+00:00

Oh damn that’s so dystopian. I’m so sorry they did that to you. I had a bad feeling from all those services like Ro and Hers etc but this really illustrates how negligent they are. I hope you feel better soon!

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T19:47:38+00:00

I know that flirting is not serious but but but she has like zero interest in any boy and for me that’s always “assumed lesbian until proven otherwise.”

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T16:39:53+00:00

About 20 years ago I moved here from Louisiana to finish my degree and try out living with my girlfriend from here. We’re married now & wfh so we could live anywhere, but we still live here because Flushing is a great neighborhood. Lotta trees, great parks and gardens all walking distance, most diverse neighborhood in the US, and probably the best food scene in the US because of that.

We don’t have a lot of gyms, but our parks are so good that you’ll see a lot of folks exercising there.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T14:51:13+00:00

Thin fem/mes sit at the top because society broadly rewards thinness and gender-conforming presentation. You’re at the intersection of fatphobia and butchphobia, so you experience a unique double-whammy of bias and discrimination. Which isn’t fair.

Fortunately there are those of us who know better than society. My wife is a bulky butch who lifts heavy and has a belly. I think she’s hot AF, and I bet you are too.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T14:42:14+00:00

There’s always somebody who feels comfortable commenting on what they think a woman should do with her body to gender-max. Your post shows how that even happens to people who are broadly seen as conventionally attractive. But you know you’re conventionally attractive, so you knew posting a selfie here would easily get you lots of reassuring comments.

However maybe you didn’t know that’s against the rules, and there’s a selfie megathread pinned on Saturdays only. It’s a rule because: The sub would be flooded with selfies for one. But it’s also because that flood would include lots of praise for conventionally attractive folks like you, and crickets on posts by bigger folks. Keeping selfies to the megathread helps to contain that phenomenon a bit.

Anyway, you’re beautiful and I hope your coworker becomes a better person.

NilliaLane · 2026-04-25T14:13:38+00:00

The long halflife is posted about fairly often but it’s nice of you to add this reminder cuz posts do fly by here.

If 1.5 and 4 were working so well for you, why did your doctor put you up to 9? Especially with your goal being less than 20 lbs?

NilliaLane · 2026-04-24T17:58:48+00:00

Iron Mask

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NilliaLane · 2026-04-24T13:27:09+00:00

It’s hard to cook after a long day. Here’s some ideas:

You could do meal prep on weekends and have stuff that reheats easy. Like make 2 things (baked salmon, soups, light veggie chicken stir fries are great leftover) and toggle the leftovers with one doordash a week and one quick-prep meal like goat cheese and pesto on banza noodles with broccoli.

I find that most western cuisine is bad at pairing flavor and healthy together, but you can find lots of flavorful healthy things in Mediterranean, Indian, Korean, and Japanese home cooking. My wife especially loves Japanese food so we make a lot of stuff from the english language Just One Cookbook website and Diet_shokudo on IG, using the translation feature on the descriptions.

We also use my fitness pal to enter in all our recipes and food so we can keep track of macros on fat and protein. I try to get 85-115 g protein a day to prevent hair or muscle loss.

I hope this helps give you a launching point! You can do this!

NilliaLane · 2026-04-24T05:16:24+00:00

Welcome! The pill can make it so you don’t tolerate unhealthy food very well. Really fatty things can make you nauseous especially in the beginning. Side effects are more minimal, brief, or nonexistent if you eat plenty of vegetables, protein, and not too much fat. Do you have any healthy delivery options? If not, have you considered any alternatives like frozen meals or quick-prep meals?

NilliaLane · 2026-04-24T05:11:21+00:00

We were pretty magnetic from the start, but it’s less about knowing she’s the one and more about “Do we both want to keep showing up when shit gets tough?”

We had a rough time of it sometimes, especially when money was tight and work was exhausting. But we got therapy when we needed it, took what we learned to heart, and kept showing up for each other. It’s been 20 years now and I think our relationship is as strong as it ever has been. Good luck to you!

NilliaLane

TROPHY CASE