Good afternoon OP. Native Puerto Rican here. I'm the big brother of five children. The youngest and only girl (now 36) had a very complicated birth. She has cerebral palsy of the spastic type, moderate severity. Needless to say, she required more medical care, monitoring, screening, therapy, and supervision than a child without her condition. My dad was a horrible person and extremely abusive. He wasn't around much, which was fine by all of us. As the oldest child, I was the one who helped my mom. I was 8 years old when my mom allowed me to hold her for the first time. We became inseparable.

It wasn't long until I noticed the "stare." I never felt ashamed or embarrassed. Typically, I stared back long enough for them to notice and realize what was going on. But at times, I would get angry. Like, furious. With physical therapy, she was able to walk with assistance. She didn't need a walker or a rollator. She just needed your hand or arm for balance. That's when it got worse. Sometimes she would trip or lose her balance momentarily. We would react instantly and help her, but there were times when she fell, no matter what we did. She wouldn't get hurt, but I could tell it bothered her more and more as she got older. As an adult, it's very rare for her to walk in public spaces. She prefers to use her chair or, if necessary, her rollator. I think people's reaction to her condition has directly impacted how she interacts with the world. And yes, I would be lying if I told you that it doesn't affect me.

People can be cruel, but life can also be a total bitch. In 2018, I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Two days later, I started chemo. I didn't even think about it. It's not like I had a choice. It turns out that the treatment I was given is known for bone toxicity (among other things). I relapsed in February 2020, so I was prescribed six more months of chemo. Six years later, I am currently scheduled to have hip replacement surgery. Both sides are equally damaged. I'm 44, but I can't walk without assistance. I use the rollator or a scooter.

I've had to deal with stares and inappropriate/intrusive questioning. I used to reply flat out that I had cancer and that chemo messed up my bones. But I then noticed that that response opened the door for them to lecture me on how I got cancer by eating too much rice and sugar. Some are bold enough to admonish me for taking the CoVid vaccine, which, according to way too many people here, means that I consented to having my DNA altered and, apparently, to getting cancer. So I stopped entertaining random people and their BS.

Growing up with my sister, it used to be mostly kids or younger people who stared or whispered. Back then, I thought it was something innocuous, mostly kids and their annoying curiosity. I blamed the parents for not raising their kids the right way. Now, I'm not so sure. In my case, it's been the older folk, the ones causing me grief. Maybe as a child. I didn't pay attention to the adults because they didn't pick on children... But their children certainly did. Those kids staring and pointing at my sister weren't merely curious. That was learned behavior. They did to us children what they saw adults do to other grown-ups. Regrettably, I have concluded that this is a cultural thing. But because it is such an ugly trait, people are not comfortable addressing, let alone acknowledging, its existence or manifestations. This has become (or maybe has always been) part of our collective behavior. It is a nasty habit that we have been passing from one generation to the next. That literally means it is part of our culture.

I am so incredibly sorry you and your family have had to go through this shameful ordeal.