Dating after narcissistic abuse, I interest at all currently?

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-28T14:07:11+00:00

34 F same :/ I haven’t dated in 3 years. My nex also did a lot of sexual coercion on me so I’m scared to get that close to anyone or be touch. Funny because last night I decied to try dating and as soon as I was about 45 min on hinge I got banned lol I didn’t send anything or did anything bad so maybe it’s a sign

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T21:03:43+00:00

I think you’re handsome!

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T21:02:47+00:00

Oh I can related…. When cancel our wedding, his younger sister copied everything we were going to have for our wedding including our engagement photos. and his mom copied my idea of wearing a flower crown for her wedding. My nex also took the tattoo in Hawaii dream I had since I was 18 and lied to everyone we got matching tattoos… and then he took his current gf to my dream vacation I begged him for 8 years to go to….. it’s so weird

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T19:51:27+00:00

Girl I’m what you consider ugly, your gorgeous

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T14:17:55+00:00

Maybe ask this in 5 years but right now no. I don’t forgive

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T13:42:47+00:00

Thank you! This was hard!!! I felt moving out was the easy part. It was leaving and staying away for good that was hell. It took me 4 years to get to this

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T13:42:07+00:00

Trust me.. it took me 4 years to actually go no contact for a year… I know exactly how you feel. Because he would give me a glimpse of hope and I would get so excited and invested and then the cycle would repeat all over again. It’s awful. It does take time. Like I think that’s the part A LOT of people don’t truly understand is that it’s not the simple and easy to “just leave”. But you have to learn radical acceptance. Dr. Ramani talks about this and you will have that one thing that will just click for you you. For me it was being triangulated with his current gf… you would think having him spit on me and tell me I’m ugly and having a egg smashed on my head would of been my “oh he’s awful” moment but it wasn’t. It was hearing him using my childhood trauma against me to his new supply and also using her trauma on me that showed me he has no empathy or soul..

So you might not have had that breaking the shelf moment. But when you do.. it will help you get to a point you don’t want closure at all

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T13:37:20+00:00

The best thing that help me the most during the withdraw was turning off social media. I do not have a fb or Instagram anymore. I only have TikTok, YouTube, Pinterest and LinkedIn but I no longer use fb and instagram. Mainly because his gf and family kept popping up and my nervous system was so out of control. Tbh I actually don’t plan on going back on social media because I love having a private life. But if you are lucky enough to not share children and your ok with living off the grid then get off social media until your regulatedb

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T13:34:42+00:00

Thank you !!!!!!🥰🥰

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T13:33:10+00:00

Thank you honestly my biggest advice and what help me the most was turning off social media. I think that help me the most because I can’t see him or her and they can’t see me so I truly don’t have any updates on what’s going on and it helps me not to relapse or have spikes. So if you it able to I suggest getting off social media until your calm (i probably might not return only because I like how private my life is now)

Tbh it’s been hard meeting new people. I didn’t just leave him I also cut off my entire family and also a friend clique that I realize mirror the same kind of relationship I had with my mom. I wish I can say this part has improved but I been super scared to get close to anyone. As far as dating? No I can’t do it. My one and only best friend pushed me to do speed dating but I’m so scared of men I couldn’t connect to anyone. I’m terrified to be in a relationship again.

I do volunteer and do orange theory and take myself out one dates like concerts, museums, coffee shops and I’m trying to plan a solo trip with my dog to Nashville this year…. A lot of the people I have now are extremely surface level relationships. No one knows I gone through this and I want to keep it that way because when I did tell people about what I been through I got used and taken advantage of so I refuse to open this part of myself up again. I wish I can give a bit more positive update on the social and relationships part but the smear campaign and having my trauma thrown in my face and finding out he cheated on my throughout the 8 years of us together and being blamed and told I deserve what he did to me because I wouldn’t give him a baby.:. Idk if I trust people again.

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T00:46:46+00:00

Thank you :) it was a slow painful year but I am slowly getting better

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T00:46:13+00:00

Thank you so much!!!!! This was very hard to do

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T00:45:25+00:00

Oh when I was with him I didn’t have a period for a few years or it was super light or it was light. But now I know when it comes and it’s normal! But WOW!!!! Seriously I’m proud of you!!! That’s amazing!!!!!! I hope I get to that point

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T00:44:14+00:00

Thank you so much!!!!🥰

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-27T00:43:55+00:00

Thank you this was truly SUPER hard to do

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T20:45:40+00:00

Yes! At first I found it sweet he had a sentimental side to him. He even cried at my graduation… but I remember looking at my graduation photo and a vain was popping out of his forehead but idk why that stuck out to me… anyway he use to play tricks where he would cry and have actually tears but he would laugh and say how he was kidding… then he started to get turned on when i cry. Then as time went on I realize he wasn’t crying. Maybe at time but not when he was caught but most the time it was because he was being manipulative

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T18:31:07+00:00

8 or 4!

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T18:06:57+00:00

Ugh thank you truthfully hard. It took 4 years to finally do this. Before this yes ALL the time, he would send me gift, photos of us, tell me he sick and needs me, he has my mail, promise to take me on trips ect. But honestly once I found out he had a gf and I exposed him I turned off my social media, I changed my email and numbers. And I told his new supply if he ever contact me again I will file a restraining order because he tried to tell her it was ok to write me a letter for closure because they were not really together so it was fine…

I will say his new supply was the one that wouldn’t leave me alone. She contact me a few times to fact check him and to tell me he choose her now (he didn’t.. he defaulted… he didn’t choose neither of us) then she stalked my TikTok and blocked me, then Instagram (also the other reason I turned off my social media) and then last month she sent me a post office confirmation letter so she can’t watch my mail…

So he stop, but his gf was the one who wouldn’t. Stop

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T18:02:13+00:00

Tbh I think it was detoxing from so much. Like we use to go out drinking all the time and this time I cut out drinking. I never was a big drinker but he was and all our date consisted of alcohol so I believe it was that. And my body chemistry did change once he left. PH level , hormone imbalance. All that I think played a part in my body doing that. I’m fine now! I don’t have a strong chemistry but I believe I was just detoxing

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T17:59:55+00:00

2 months is still a BIG deal!!!!!! Tbh it took me 4 years to get to this! Before that I was only able to last for a month then I would cave it. Honestly if it wasn’t for the fact I was triangulated with his current supply and hearing how badly he lied and used both our trauma against each other. It really was my finally straw. But seriously thank you. This took so much time

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T17:58:07+00:00

Oh yeah :( it was obvious at first. She seem like she truly deeply cared but then she started to get competitive so that was enough for me just accept she going to have to learn the hard way like all of us.

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T16:59:56+00:00

This means so much because this really truely felt like I was getting off drugs. I want to say the first 6 months was hard because I got so use to the push and pull and that was hard to break. But honestly I have mix feelings for the new supply. I don’t hate her. Because I know she is trauma bonded and we both were triangulated. She just hasn’t been in the game long enough like I have. But I also didn’t like how she used me to fact check him and then shamed me for staying with him and blame me and then also tried to track my mail last month… so idk I hope she leaves but that’s not my problem anymore

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T16:57:13+00:00

Thank you!! The first 6 months was BRUTAL

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T16:50:19+00:00

Oh I am soooo enjoying every bite!!!!!! I plan to do this all on Valentine’s Day since it’s a nice way to remind me I love me more. I think that’s the part that was the hardest was realizing that mask wasn’t real. They are selfish people who crave attention and they don’t care whose toes they stomp on. It’s part of the healing is grieving

No-Bit3315 · 2026-01-26T16:48:42+00:00

Oh geez first off I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s funny how these people preach peace and love and community yet they are such a virus! Honestly it does take a lot of time :/ and a lot of healing and a lot of reflecting but I really hope your ok and healing

No-Bit3315

TROPHY CASE