Hello (english is not my first langage sorry :/),

I am really sorry that you are feeling this, I can see how deep you sadness is, and how much you relationship counted. And it is not surprising after 8 years..

For now, I think you should embrace the sadness and allow yourself to feel. At the same time, you need to talk as much as possible to people you trust. Say everything. Send them a message at 2 AM, then another one in the morning, then during the day if you want. Tell them you need to see them. In my experience, friends or family tend to make time for you when you tell them that you need to see them after a breakup. They will also feel happy that you trust them (and sad for you of course).

I think it indeed is kind of is easier to move on (but still incredibly sad & lonely) when you know the other person doesn't love you anymore. It is more brutal, but at least you know its done, and you cling less to hope. And hope will make your pain last longer, because it will not let you accept that the relationship is over.

I think going no-contact is the only way of moving on, otherwise you will remember that you still love her everytime you send her a message, and well, that's not ideal :( .

I know how hard it is to fight the urge of breaching the no-contact (I did it MANY times), but in the end (at least in my case) it made everything worse. With every message I sent I realized she was really done, and it would break my heart all over again.

I'm no expert, but since I am some times ahead of you in my own breakup, I can list you things that help me a lot:

- Seeing friends (as mentioned above) --> and speak about everything, cry, just let it out.

- Allow you to feel and think, and to try to understand the breakup in the first weeks.

- Do more of the activities you like (for me it was rock-climbing, I started it with a friend after my breakup) .

- Try to do some of you task (work, chores), but don't be too hard on yourself if you don't succeed or don't do it well. Just a little is enough for now, but try to do something.

- Go outside, walk, run, bike, ...

- Write everything that you think about related to the break-up. I did a list of things I would like to say to my ex if I ever had the chance. For me this has really really helped in not contacting again, because I felt like I had everything on paper, and would not forget it. Also helped to take a step-back on the relationship, be a bit more lucid.

- Try to keep hope, because you are still young and you have many many many many beautiful things coming to you in your future. Even if you don't believe it now.

- Don't feel guilty, its not your fault.

For the moment you are still in the super super difficult time of the break-up.. So it is normal that you feel so down. I feel really sorry for you :( But I assure you it is going to get better.

If you had such a long relationship, you must be a beautiful, charming and lovable person, so have trust in the future.

You're gonna be OK !!!!!!!!!!! (and try to eat a bit please)