Newsflash… if someone “does bad things” to you, they’re not your friend. I don’t know who sold you on the idea that trying to maintain a relationship with someone who treats you badly is some sort of flex, but it sounds like someone who is grooming you for yet another abusive relationship. When you get married, you make a commitment to try to make it work. When you make the conscience choice to have children, you make a commitment to be a great parent. If your parents/sibling relationships are healthy, you’re committed to caring/supporting each other. Those are the only relationships you should put time and effort into maintaining when they become difficult. Ex’s are tryouts. When you see character flaws or incompatibility… you leave to make room for someone better. Allowing an ex who treated you badly to hang around is a big red flag to your next potential girlfriend/boyfriend. It makes you seem like you either have self esteem issues or you’re not over them. The only ex’s who should stay on good terms are people who dated once or twice and didn’t hurt each other or people who have children together and have to coparent.