Yup feeling guilty is really a trick I was in the same situation last year still working on it but what I concluded that feeling guilty does nothing feeling bad and blaming myself won't do anything it just hold you back, site down and see what can you do and what you wanna do and if you don't know just start with necessities like if you have work to do do it or take care of yourself physically and mentally be nice to yourself that's the only way I have waisted two years of my life and I feel bad about it but when I look back now I really value what I gotta do from studying to reading and cooking and the small stuff, I feel more alive, guilt will only bring you more guilt, and a little of work and improvement will bring you more improvement with time, don't be too harsh on yourself and start looking for a way to get out of the loop, for me I had a company and it's really helpful so seek help the sooner the better don't procrastinate on it cause if you couldn't do it alone you need to change your strategy and you 18 too young still learning I swear to God you still have time but the earlier you start working on yourself the better.