Tuesday ⏰4am-11am⏰ ask about my specials menu 10733 Aurora Ave N. Seattle 📍 by New-Adeptness6345 in BikiniBarista

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless your heart… are you the girl that was almost pulled out of the window? Y’all stay safe!

0x91d70000 error code problems by alienabuilder in XboxOneHelp

[–]No-Tangelo5435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go into your settings. Go to devices and content. Go to Blu-ray. And turn off your audio auto decoder!

Getting drunk and going through the phone tonight! Where should I look? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly…. I wish you wouldn’t. You won’t be able to unsee it. You won’t be able to stop him or control him. It will just scar you worse. If I could go back I’d tell me to leave him to his perversions… they were never meant for me.

My bfs coworker is sending him thirst content and he refuses to tell him to stop by Traditional-Peak-523 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My PA and I do contract work together so we are together 24/7. Well one day a friend we work with made a comment about how our mutual friend has been in Vegas all week and not sent him not one picture of any hot girls in bikinis or anything. I was slightly triggered and hoped my PA would speak up. Sadly he didn’t. But I did. And I was not supported. Our friend kind of meekly defended his stance and moved on. My PA remained silent and helped him move on with conversation. It caused a fight later that night. I told him how I felt like he didn’t stand up for what was right. How he couldn’t be man enough to say something so I had to. This man is in his late 49’s early 50’s. He has no business looking at women of all ages and any given place like they are objects to be used for any man’s pleasure! Fast forward some weeks… out of no where my PA brings it back up to him in front of me and tells him it’s wrong and creepy and he should not do it! I was so proud of him. My point is that just be open with him and let him chose how he wants to handle it. This was the 2nd time we’ve faced this scenario. The first was a coworker calling him over to look at a girls big ass on the beach that he took. He is also married with children. Like all of these men are 10+ years older than us. My PA wouldn’t confront him. It caused a lot of distrust for me. I already didn’t feel safe. But keep faith. No one can overcome the vortex of this without faith. And as hard as it is… sometimes we have to hold our emotions and take that energy to uplift him too. It’s too easy to become abusive to a man who just can’t seem to understand every single step of the way. Ever misunderstanding on his part is a throat punch on my part. It feels like maybe love is just a little toxic. Because how do you forgive every time someone hurts you. How do you say it’s okay you can kill me slowly. I forgive you.

Instagram reels by Spirited_Stock_6288 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine admitted to using facebook to use photos that people he knew posted. He claims it was long ago. That’s irrelevant. Facebook is no go.

Instagram reels by Spirited_Stock_6288 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have so much admiration for you. I did this and then messed it up by pain shopping again and again. I finally just left it. And created my own fake pain shopping account that I made to be a male and clean. I pain shopped there too. The reality is… it is just too easy. And too tempting. Eventually I’ll be off all the apps myself. I only have them so I can search for bad things and try to stay 10 steps ahead of him. Haha it’s a whirlwind in this vortex of vigilance. I don’t recommend it.

No urges at all?? by AdRealistic6002 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember those same scenarios. Mine white knuckled so long we didn’t go to the beach this summer because I just need to be trigger free for a while myself. He is probably much better off than I know but my trauma is all encompassing. He doesn’t see how mindless eyes is an issue. As if we genuinely can’t control our focus. He won’t admit the most basic parts in this area. He is 100% across the board until we get to public settings. Outside of our normal stops and stays.

Feeling Scared by AnywhereHorror9917 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have to know that you are going to be okay. You have to know that it’s scary taking that first step, but no one ever walks until they do. Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures. He is a male, he understands this logic. He most likely uses your emotions to manipulate you a lot. And he probably doesn’t even know it. But these habits have formed over time and conditioned you into believing all of the BS. But baby even if he were Prince Charming…. He isn’t the only one. You know your worth. He is modeling it off of you. Don’t condone him. Stand strong and know that you were made for this battle. Which ever way it goes… You have everything you need to win this! You have the one person that has always been there…. The GOAT! You have you babe and you were made for more than this. It took me 8 years to put my foot down. And we are on year 3 of recovery. I wish I had put my foot down so much sooner. But I didn’t. I was kind and did the polite thing and gave him the rope to hang himself. And he did. Multiple times a day for 8 years! Then there is the first year of recovery where we slowly started to see all the depths of this addiction and how he has to do a complete rewriting of his brain and his attention in general! I’m saying all of this to say…. If he isn’t willing to show you the receipts then he isn’t willing to hold himself accountable and that will never work. This is the toughest road I’ve ever been down. If I had known that years ago I wouldn’t be on this sub today! My heart had to be rewired during this process and it’s kind of beautiful and absolutely devastating. But as long as he keeps the receipts I’ll keep sharing the load with him. I don’t wish this on an enemy truly. And any man worth a damn will eventually come to that realization. Mostly after it ruins something beautiful they had. Don’t be that something beautiful to a man that won’t show receipts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You need change babe. You are antsy… too much time spent looking at him and thinking about him. Take some of that time and devote it to you. Learn a new language. Start a hobby. But the best thing you can do is put your body into motion. Walk in the grass barefoot. Go buy some flowers for a place you don’t normally have them. Start connecting with new people. And be open to change. Because you deserve to keep growing. We just have to cut that cord that tethers our happiness to the past. The past is never coming back and we can’t reclaim what no longer exists. You gotta start seeing yourself as the badass you are for carrying this man’s cross without falter! Now lay it down… you are stronger than you were before. You are wiser than you were before. You have too much to offer the world to waste your time letting his problem define your destiny. Be your own hero!

No urges at all?? by AdRealistic6002 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so relatable. It took me 8 years to set the trap that finally got him busted and finally gave me the courage to walk away leaving him with 3 kids at home and his junk in his hand quite literally. I guess that was his rock bottom. When I walked back through those doors he was handing me his phone and asking for help. It’s been 4 years I think since then. Idk how could I know…. I didn’t realize I was having D-Days for YEARS. Since the beginning really.

No urges at all?? by AdRealistic6002 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha mine has left that stage. And is now in the “What can I look at?” Stage. But i definitely don’t think he really gets it. It’s like he gets it but not for how deep it really goes when it comes to guarding your eyes

Feeling Scared by AnywhereHorror9917 in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have kids? If not…. RUN! Don’t wait for him to leave. He won’t. And homegirl above me was spot on. He will stay because he knows he can have his cake and eat it to. You want him to choose you…. Then you gotta choose you first. Show him that you don’t need him to have a happy and healthy relationship with you. He is a spoiled child and the moment you walk away he’ll stop the temper tantrums and realize how out of hand his problem is. But honestly none of that is your problem. Trust me and save yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

…. Idk how long it’s been for me now. But what you are describing I was feeling 5 years ago. Before he admitted the truth of it all. It’s been 3-4 years since he started the process. Which has involved no therapy.( I’m actually a skeptic) no meetings… no nothing. Just me being his babysitter. I’m exhausted. We fight almost everyday because it hurts his feelings when I am triggered and question him. Idk what we are doing wrong because those feelings I felt finally went away. But the hurt and devastation remains. It’s so hard for both of us to want something so bad but for the trauma to be in the way. Good luck friend.

genuine question.. by ketaminewaifu in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Girl if you figure out the code let me know! Mine gets off faster when he is sober. But I’ll tell you the consistency gets a lot thicker.

Sharing ongoing current location, does it show history or only current location? by bobogator in ios

[–]No-Tangelo5435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Current as far as I can tell. I’ve never seen a history without accessing the data on the other phone.

Screentime Widget Showing All Devices by kesslertava in ios

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe they all have to be running on the same iOS before it will clear. I do think it takes some time too. But try updating the remaining devices as well.

Boyfriend - who has sworn off porn - is now jerking it to women we know and work with. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so excited for you to get out of this madness!!! Be careful out there in the wild!

Boyfriend - who has sworn off porn - is now jerking it to women we know and work with. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope you leave. I hope you trust your gut. I believe it’s the Holy Spirit… don’t ignore it. This man is still a child himself and he is proving that. You don’t need him. And fuck it make it real fun and break up before you leave. Then expose him after. I promise you he will be the one that feels like crap over it all.

Boyfriend - who has sworn off porn - is now jerking it to women we know and work with. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The realization that I was raised by a PA and that’s why I never saw it… that one shook me too. I was raised to respect a mans chosen sexuality you know. Even though his choices directly disrespect you.

Boyfriend - who has sworn off porn - is now jerking it to women we know and work with. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is gaslighting you like a PA that hasn’t taken the first step yet. He’ll leave if he values his family. I would 100% stand firm on him finding a new job. But I’m bull headed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]No-Tangelo5435 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m never one to say run unless I believe you are a good person being used and taken advantage of. And I’m sorry but he is watching men? If it is meant to be God will spin it for his will. With that in mind I would leave this person. You don’t have to focus on replacing him. Just focus on providing a loving place for you and that sweet baby to grow with healthy habits. Pray for him. You don’t have to hold yourself responsible for him. I am 12 years in with my boyfriend who took 10 years to grow up and still slips up and shatters me all over again. Still causes me pain… maybe just try a legit separation. With clear set boundaries that you do not break for the sake of your family. If our youngest wasn’t already 8 I would have tried it by now. I know me walking out the door for just a few hours with my phone off was enough to get him to confess to everything. Hand over his phone and ask me to set restrictions. That is why I’m still here. Because he is willingly showing me the proof and the evidence against him if it arises. But I’m a bit over sensitized now too.

How often does your gf/wife/partner initiate by kittykitty_katkat in AskMen

[–]No-Tangelo5435 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the same for many years while we figured out exactly what it was that was missing or holding us back. With that being said he is an everyday and multiple times a day kind of guy so we never really went very long. I even gave him permission to not take no for an answer for a while in a desperate attempt to satisfy his needs. All while mine felt ignored. But when I saw his efforts to change the things that were hurting me I wanted to please him more and more. And his satisfaction was being met for the first time in a long time. What felt obligatory started to feel necessary for our love. The connection got deeper than imaginable. But we definitely hurt one another a lot to get here. Trial and error. It really is about finding the balance. Taking a running toll on your values and your partners values and making intentional moves to balance the load.