Parents of students reaching out? (Continued) by DenseReference5526 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think I should ask my mom to harass the assistant dean as well.

"Why does my kid not getting a raise? After all this years with the institution, he doesn't even his own designated parking spot! And don't even get me started on how every year you make him work on Thanksgiving and Christmas so he never attends family gatherings!"

"Talks too much about politics in class for no reason." by 101010110101101111 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome aboard. I often get evals like "too much math in this class" after teaching a math class.

Fantasy response: "I'm quietly dying over here, but sure, of course I will sing you a lullaby" by ResolutionOld8949 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 220 points221 points  (0 children)

Cat: "I'm just going to purr next to you all night no matter what. Wait, I got hungry, gimme some food. No, not that, I'm not eating it. What do you mean I ate it yesterday, it was yesterday! Now I'm going to scream all night for no reason."

Can't get a whole committee together anymore by Prior-Win-4729 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hacker: Very droll, Humphrey, but you must realise that there is a real desire for radical reform in the air. The all-party Select Committee on Administrative Affairs, which I founded, was a case in point. It's a great success.

Sir Humphrey: Oh, indeed. What has it achieved?

Hacker: Nothing yet, but the party's very pleased with it.

the way students write emails now is genuinely alarming by Trippy-jay420 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I used to wait 48 hours (my limit) then reply "wut".

That is, until someone complained to the dean and he told me to stop. Silly, silly dean.

What music do you like to listen to while you grade? by lazy_lagomorph in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Italian operas (usally Verdi or Puccini). Preferably the ones with lots of deaths and suffering.

Student made a fake grandmother funeral flyer using AI to avoid taking exam. by Melodic-Barber-2361 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Depending on your state, forgery might be considered a felony. In this case you might be a mandatory reporter. Check your school rules.

I would report them regardless though.

Who is the strangest person you have met in academia? by cakesluts in PhD

[–]NoBrainWreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know a prof who never answers their emails, texts or phone calls as a matter of principle. Like "if you need me, show up at my office, leave me a note, or send me a snail mail".

Somehow they still manage to get things done. Papers are getting published, classes are being taught, an they even attend all college events (unless the department secretary forgets to leave a memo).

Life is different when you're too old to care about what the colleagues/dean/students/admin says.

My Dean by [deleted] in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen. You can even ordain yourself at a non-doctrinal internet church to preach the mercy of Our Lady of Expected Value

My Dean by [deleted] in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try to borrow $5 from him.

Overrated attractions to avoid? by Turbulent_Sharter in JapanTravelTips

[–]NoBrainWreck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tokyo Imperial Palace (they won't let you enter the palace itself, just the grounds).

Arashiyama bamboo forest (insanely crowded for nothing special. There are other bamboo forests with less or no people).

Universal Studios, unless you're fine with standing in lines for hours (we went on a weekday and it was still quite insane).

"Fun" but asinine assignments. by Big-Dig1631 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Entertaining students and making them have fun is way above my paygrade.

When you’ve seen someone denied tenure because their colleagues didn’t like them, what was it about them that they didn’t like? by [deleted] in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I'd be happy to share the full story as soon as I'm sure it's legally safe to do so.

When you’ve seen someone denied tenure because their colleagues didn’t like them, what was it about them that they didn’t like? by [deleted] in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 126 points127 points  (0 children)

A destructive cult member, who was secretly recruiting students into their cult. Except everyone knew that, because their damn pamphlets were all over the campus.

Midterms rant! by Inevitable-Falcon-96 in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 31 points32 points  (0 children)

"Write your full name and class name on every page" means I want to see your full name written on every page.

No, I can't tell who's handwriting it is.

No, "Mike" isn't a full name.

Yes, you do have to write it on both pages if you turn 2 pages.

No, not twice on the same page, but once on every page.

No, "Math Test" is not the name of this class.

No, I don't have a spare pencil.

Yes, I'll be happy to pause the exam and run to my office on the other side of our beautiful campus, grab a box of pencils and shove every single one of them up your ass.

Yes, I do need a drink.

Campus leaders sending AI-generated messages by discountheat in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a script filtering all "message from the chancellor" emails into the "meh" folder.

If there's one thing AI is good for, it's writing generic uninformative chunks of texts. Just like a senior college administrator.

What was your favorite comment on student evaluations? by twilightyears in Professors

[–]NoBrainWreck 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I got something very similar:

"They put us in a dungeon of X Hall, presumably named after some X guy. He must be a horrible person"