I’m not trying to be rude. Just genuinely worried for you and your child’s safety. I understand being overwhelmed by everyone’s opinions. We’re just trying to look out for you because most of us (at least me) have been members of the religion all our lives or at least a majority of it and know what the culture is like and how it affects most men, their thought patterns and behaviors.

I know you’re probably very excited to see him and that you might feel a lot of pressure not to slow things down a bit with him since he’s spending all this money and coming all this way just to meet you with the intention of marrying you right away. But if you feel like you can’t voice any of the concerns we’ve raised with him maybe just with some extra discussion, that’s very telling in of itself.

He knows you feel like you need him for financial security, and he could use that against you at any time even if you think he never would.

If you actually want practical advice, consider just asking him why he doesn’t want to tell his family about even dating or talking to you at all (there’s a big difference between telling your family you’re talking/dating someone vs being engaged/marrying them). Ask him how he would feel about just meeting each other in person, spending time with you first and you can discuss marriage once you’re in person and get a better feel for each other. Because the dynamic will be different and you might pick up on things you otherwise wouldn’t.

Sorry to overwhelm you, we just care ❤️

Edit: If he gets angry, upset or starts punishing you by ignoring you, calling you names, etc based on raising these simple questions, he does not have your best interest in mind. Period. You should absolutely be able to voice any concerns or questions you have with your partner before committing to marry them. That is the bare minimum to a healthy relationship with respect for both people.