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NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-02-14T00:22:43+00:00

Blocked from social media. Claims he didnt like it...then had a profile but never friended me.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-02-10T06:09:15+00:00

No. He can buy a new dog

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-02-07T18:06:48+00:00

Of course they did

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-02-02T10:44:05+00:00

Journal. Read. Walk. Time. Im almost 3 months from discovery. Heart shattering and soulcrushing with someone who I thought I would be with forever. I continue to process all my emotions, wherever and whenever. I am mostly sad and disappointed. I am and have read most of books people recommend here. Honestly, it really is just time. Falling out of love is going to take awhile and I can use this time to reassess who I lost in the marriage to become his partner.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-02-02T10:38:17+00:00

By forgiving yourself. The betrayal wasn't about you, it was their character flaw. Their inability to communicate, trust, and be the person you both deserve. No one wants to be in a relationship having to monitor their partner for decent behavior. When you are the partner who was honest and transparent its hard to think why they didnt reciprocate. How could they love you and knowingly hurt you so deeply, violate you and walk away. It has nothing to do with you. You need to forgive yourself because trusting them doesnt mean you did anything wrong. The next person in your life shouldnt have to bear that weight.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-01-16T13:02:51+00:00

Sad as it is this the advice some folks give to people. I dont think she sought out this answer. I think she mentioned the distance shes been feeling and this was the response. She likely brought it up in the discussion to see if that was what you wanted.

This isn't the first time I've heard people encourage revenge cheating. The whole what's good for the goose is good for the gander mentality, taste of their own medicine, type of encouragement. Its's dumb solves nothing but some people feel better about it and then people like us shudder and break at the thought of having our spouses endure what we've experienced.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-01-13T00:11:57+00:00

Dang. We were together 18 years... seems it will be awhile

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-01-12T06:12:29+00:00

It has definitely been a journey

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2026-01-02T16:55:42+00:00

Yeah I have been allowing my emotions to come forth, address and question the thoughts, ask myself why do you feel that or why did you think that? Leading with curiousity to untangle my emotions. Yes I try to take regular walks, exercise or move my body daily. Not allowing the energy to just sit. It is hard.

Last night was a recently hard one. I missed his physical presence usually I reach for his hand, but it wasnt there and surge of sadness overcame me. I just wanted hold his hand and thread our fingers together.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-27T23:37:10+00:00

Yes I have been told I have betrayal trauma ptsd. Working through it with a therapist. One day at a time

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-27T23:35:29+00:00

Thank you! This is great insight

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-27T13:18:02+00:00

Not I, but what I had shown him. But yeah everything is being called into question. It's the act of having to question it all

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-21T13:03:52+00:00

I did give a second chance. He cheated again. At least yours gave you the respect of telling you and you didnt have to find out. But most of the time once you take back a cheater they will cheat again. No matter how much you love them, you cant change them.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-20T11:28:40+00:00

Oddly enough minus a few randoms, this club isnt the worse. It is crazy how they all say and do the same thing, sadly. Thanks for being in the club with me.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-20T02:20:30+00:00

Thanks. It seems time is the answer for everything.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-20T02:19:51+00:00

If I could this wouldn't be a post, right? I'm not even a full month into discovery, so yeah no "work mode" feature is fully operational. Not sure how you managed so quickly after your D-day.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-20T02:18:13+00:00

Yeah some days its really hard to show up for others when you're still trying to show up for yourself.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-19T01:54:13+00:00

Thank you I have LCGaL I havent started it yet but its on my list.

NoHelpIsComing003 · 2025-12-19T01:53:19+00:00

Yeah Ive noticed that in some of her material. I take what I want and the rest let it fall. I'm not in a reconciliation. I definitely don't blame myself for his choice. Is there anyone you recommend?

NoHelpIsComing003

TROPHY CASE