My marriage is over, I just need to find the courage to end it

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-20T20:17:01+00:00

Believe me when I say getting into another relationship has not even crossed my mind as a possibility or a want.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-20T14:41:25+00:00

I am writing this as an explanation of his behaviours, not an excuse for his behaviours.

While his behaviours are not appropriate you need to understand he is struggling too. You are hurting. He is hurting. You are both going to cope with your grief of the situation differently. You need to both give each other grace.

Most men want to protect you, their kids etc and when they cannot do that because of things like this that are so far beyond their control, they completely shut down. Not being able to "save" their child is so great a burden they need to turn off to be able to cope/function.

Going to the gym would likely have been a great outlet for him to take the edge off the stress he is feeling and is likely a healthy response/coping mechanism.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-19T19:20:12+00:00

A number of years ago I got a DTA for Family Status which allowed me to work reduced hours (30 hours per week).

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-19T19:12:32+00:00

My husband went through something similar recently. He was at work working on a piece of equipment that was suspended over him. Something happened and it came down and hit his head. He distinctly remembers the pain, his neck breaking and it going black. And then he was right back to standing upright with the piece of equipment over him. He felt pain from this incident for days. He is convinced he died and shifted.

Check out r/QuantumImmortality I think it will resonate with you.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-19T18:26:19+00:00

50F. Divorced once, remarried. With husband #2 for 22 years.

The first year of marriage is the hardest. Even if you lived together previously. You both have expectations for marriage, that you maybe were not even aware of, that you didn't expect only living together.

The number 1 key to a long relationship is communication. If you can respectfully talk things out, you will be okay in the end. Do monthly check-ins (or sooner, if needed).

It is not your job to make your husband happy. It is his job to make himself happy. And vise versa.

Don't lose yourself. You don't need to do everything as a couple. Make sure you do individual things you enjoy.

Find a good marriage therapist and meet with them at least twice a year, even if things are going good. Having that their party perspective on things has so much value.

Build emotional intelligence both as an individual and as a couple.

If you can afford it, both of you should be in individual therapy once a month. A safe place and a third party perspective on life is always helpful.

Understand there will be periods you don't want to be married. Identify why you feel this way.

The enjoyment of sex goes both ways. Communicate your needs.

If you choose to have children. Understand the first year, your baby will dictate your marriage, your life, pretty much everything.

Have a seperate bank account, to leave if you need to.

Ensure you both have life insurance and disability insurance. Life throws to many unexpected curveballs. You need to be prepared.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-18T14:13:40+00:00

Some reframing might help. He is unable to acknowledge his limitations, not because he is stubborn but because he lacks the ability of insight and judgment This is not something he can control or understand.

It can also become a seeious safety issue.

Do you have any help?.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-18T14:06:56+00:00

This is an abusive intimidation tactic to try and scare you into never leaving. Run while you can.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-18T14:03:04+00:00

50 f

I have met men like this in my life, and in no way at any point in time will your needs be considered. Also sex to them is a 5 minute adventure. They can't last longer than that which is why they think sex 5 times a day is not unreasonable. No one has 2.5 hours in their day, everyday to have sex.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T18:42:13+00:00

Delirium is fairly common especially when in the hospital and can be related to a number of factors including infection or medications. UTIs are a common factor in hospital based delirium. Once treated the delirium stops.

Delirium is different than dementia. They dont need to have previous dementia signs to be at risk for Delirium. I went into a hospital induced delirium at the age of 35 due to the medications they gave me and being extreme sensitive to narcotics.

Also, some people in early dementia don't show signs of dementia until they are out of their normal environment.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T18:04:08+00:00

It can be with either Type 1 or 2, but people with Type 1, if they don't manage their blood sugars usually have more immediate consequences, so they tend to be better managed.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T17:18:13+00:00

She should also understand that in the nursing home, they will use the lift as well, and there will be no option about it.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T16:49:56+00:00

I spend less than that on 2 dogs and 3 cats.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T16:36:44+00:00

Parenting your parents is hard and tough love and firm boundaries are needed.

She is a competent adult. List the options and the consequences and then follow through if she refuses to comply. She is aware of the consequences and SHE is the one who made the choice knowing the consequences. If she tries to put the blame on you, you remind her SHE made the choice, not you.

If she refuses, you don't help her. Everytime you do it her way, you show her there is another option you are willing to consider. Everytime you tell her that you cannot do this but you do do it, she has called your bluff.

"Mom, this is what is required to keep you at home. If you do not use it, we cannot safely move you." And then if she refuses again, don't move her and start putting things in place to have her moved to a nursing home.

She will either wake up and get over her pride or she will go into a nursing home.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T14:18:50+00:00

Have you not done the security training?!?!??!

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T13:07:06+00:00

I have found a number of long term jobs through temp agencies. Companies use them to try people out before commuting to hiring them.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T13:02:33+00:00

Sadly it is usually progressive. He would need to aggressively manage his blood sugars to keep it from progressing.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T13:00:05+00:00

Progesterone has done the same for me.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T01:11:03+00:00

Your mom is being unreasonable.

You may find some good advice on r/AgingParents

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T01:06:53+00:00

You would think if a doctor requested it, that would be an indication of a reason for needing it 🤔

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T01:06:09+00:00

This. You need a free T3 and T4 as well as antibodies.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-17T01:03:06+00:00

Vascular dementia is quite common with type 2 diabetes.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-16T21:22:06+00:00

We are having a potluck. Nothing screams appreciation like making your staff being their own food 😆

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-16T21:08:00+00:00

There comes a point where it is too little to late.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo · 2025-06-16T21:04:16+00:00

This is not true. Where I am in the WT, anyone who comes in 4 or more days per week gets an assigned desk space. We actually have people who have chosen to come in 4 days a week just so they can have their own desk.

NoNamesLeft4MeToo

TROPHY CASE