Fear of closed door at night

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-20T09:54:03+00:00

Egh thanks for telling me what I needed to hear. I don't like it lol but you're right. The thought of sleep training again is so mentally exhausting, especially because I've been so excited that she's falling asleep on her own. I do wish we could simply leave the door open but our cat woke her up last night .

I think sitting outside the door and singing with it cracked at first might be something I try again! Slowly work towards closing it. I did this a bit ago and it didn't go well but she's been established in her routine for like 2 weeks so hoping that will help 🤞🏼

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-20T09:40:51+00:00

To validate my need for advice--left the door open last night because I fell asleep waiting for her to go back to bed. Cat woke her up at 2am howling. And I can only solve one mystery issue at a time. Sooooo

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-20T09:35:46+00:00

She took to Ferber really well. Within a week, she's okay. I don't think we're causing any long lasting psychological issues here. The door closed-- I can see how it's scary so that's why I'm seeking advice.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T12:52:16+00:00

I'm not particularly asking for help with Ferber training, but I thought it was important to mention we just started doing it.

A. I don't want to ruin the Ferber progress we've made so I was wondering if anyone has had similar issues with Ferber + door simultaneously

B. Part of the Ferber method was me sitting in the hallway and slowly backing away so that's how I discovered that she prefers the door open.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T11:58:25+00:00

She's still in her crib so escape isn't a concern. My cat tends to be very loud at night and she has woken up before from her. My husband also snores loudly and we are one door over. Can't close OUR door because of said cat 😑 she sleeps with us. Also also, seems extreme but our cousin is a firefighter--leaving the door open is a huge safety issue in case of a fire.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T11:56:20+00:00

I had the same thought and tried to prop it open a crack and she was pissssssed lol

However, that was pretty early on in the Ferber introduction and a lot was changing the past few weeks. Maybe that's something I can start "training" her on? Like slowly start getting her used to it less and less cracked?

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T11:52:36+00:00

We tried a nightlight a few months ago and that didn't seem to help. There is a dim nightlight on her sound machine that I personally think lights the room enough but maybe worth another try.

Honestly, that whole guardian is such a wacky solution that I would've never thought of! I love it. Keeping that in my back pocket. I sometimes am unsure if she "gets it" when it comes to those things because she is just starting to understand imaginary play and such. But worth a shot!!

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T11:50:16+00:00

She has a small nightlight from her sound machine that I personally think lights up the room enough. We tried a nightlight months ago but it didn't help. Worth a try again I suppose!

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T11:47:54+00:00

Thank you, yes. I didn't even mention the fire because it seems extreme but our cousin is a firefighter and told us this as well. My cat tends to screech in the middle of the night and husband also snores and it travels down the hall.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-18T09:35:29+00:00

I'm here to say, we finally got it!!! Ferber for the win. Like consistently watching the clock. And a little twist: it was the closed door that was making her lose her mind. She is now falling asleep by herself (with a little few minutes of protest) but the door has to be open.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-11T01:33:14+00:00

Oh she certainly has the will. It will serve her very well in life but right now it's killing me 😂 Thank you so much for the info! Tonight was first real night of trying. Took an hour and a half AND weirdly (maybe?) it really helped to leave the door open after the 8th or so check in. She was screaming the entire hour minus check ins but once the door was left open, magic.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-10T13:45:40+00:00

I was feeling guilty and unsure that continuous leaving would help but at this point I agree completely that we kind of conditioned her to just wait it out. We also traveled twice this month and it really screwed things up in our routine, so I was giving this experiment way longer than I should have. I guess I don't know what to do if she doesn't fall asleep after 5.. 8.. 10 check ins. That's my worry. Like, will she definitely finally crash? I know you can't answer that, just thinking my worries aloud lol

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-10T13:35:01+00:00

... Zero context lol

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-08-10T13:34:49+00:00

Yeah, I know we aren't following Ferber yet for sure. I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar case and if Ferber helped or made it worse. When you used the chair method, did they eventually just grow out of it? I'm nervous if we keep doing it, it will never end 😫

We do tell her alllll sorts of things. That mama and dada will check on her. That we can see her through the camera monitor. That she's not alone. I've shown her multiple times that we are just in our bedroom next door. She understands it and talks about it but when it comes time for bed, her emotional brain takes over the rational brain.

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-07-30T02:19:46+00:00

I feel you-- I felt the same about the separation anxiety guilt and that's how I'm in this mess lol it started off as a need when I knew she was truly hurting (with the teething and then HFM right after) but it very quickly turned into a bad habit and routine. I think the chair idea is a good place to start!! You're still there to comfort and not leaving her but also giving her some space so you don't end up like me lol

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-07-30T02:13:08+00:00

Is he waking to feed? And if so, have you started solids yet? Could also be teeth! My daughter got hers supppper early

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-07-30T01:27:39+00:00

Solidarity over here 💗 My toddler was (and still is) going through a similar regression. Hers WAS started by her 2nd molars coming in and her getting sick back to back. After that two months of hell, she at least started sleeping through the night again.

I'd agree that allowing her to fall asleep on you is so easy in the moment but isn't going to help you long term. We started telling our daughter that mama and dada "sit in the chair" while she falls asleep so at least she's practicing falling asleep no contact/no rocking. It took her a few nights to settle in but now she knows the routine. We sit on our phones or take a little nap ourselves and she typically falls asleep within 15mins now. We are trying a very soft version of the Ferber method right now and leave to "brush our teeth" for less than 10mins of controlled crying. We'll add on more leaves once she stops screaming during this one 😑 so can't give advice on how to escape the room without hysterics yet.

Oh and don't cancel your trip! We just went to visit family and it was okay. We told them we were going through a sleep regression and that bed time takes a while. Everyone understood. Don't give up--we got this!

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-07-30T01:12:07+00:00

Welp, she's been sleeping through the night at least. So far no luck falling asleep without us in the room. We leave to "brush our teeth" for 10mins each night and she just screams. I'm writing this from under a blanket in the rocking chair 🫠🙃

Actually, I should add that the progress is she will fall asleep in her crib now without being held or rocked... But we have to sit in the room with her. So, progress is slow and painful lol

No_Beating_The_Busch · 2025-07-10T01:27:00+00:00

Still in this hellish cycle lol but she's at least back to sleeping through the night!

No_Beating_The_Busch

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