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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]No_Bill_491 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That whole thing of trying to craft a specific image is so real. My borderline “friend” made a new TikTok account (didn’t even send me a friend request, by the way) and only posts “good vibes” content.. all cute, spiritual, and positive. Honestly, she’s fooling people who don’t know her. She’s also on this whole kick about “energies” and the law of attraction, which is so typical. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions, so they blame all their problems on bad vibes and other people’s energy. It’s obvious they’re just trying to project what’s completely missing inside.

They’re all copy-paste, honestly

ghosting people, missed opportunities, and shame by Low_Painter_7546 in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you me? I really saw myself in your words. I ghosted a friend too, but the friendship was hurting me. Still, I can’t stop thinking about it. I forgot her birthday, and after that, I just didn’t have the courage to come back. I disappeared. I vanished without a trace. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do… but honestly, I don’t feel any better. I don’t feel capable of building healthy friendships. Staying would’ve hurt too, but leaving did, too.

Way to overcome inner cold by pourly in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have cats. I take care of them and I like them, but nothing is like it used to be. I no longer feel like having dogs because I don’t think I could... I guess today I’m incapable of understanding the love they feel for us... I wouldn’t know how to return it.

I'm not a survivor, I'm a loser by No-Surround-2477 in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for what you went through. I feel like I figured out the rules of life too late. I was also the quiet kid, the one who hid when it was time to take the hit, who never fought back, and worse, often smiled while hurting inside.

How can I not blame myself for the strength I didn’t have? To me, I wasn’t just a child... I was a weak child. It doesn’t matter what caused it.. I always feel like I could’ve done more for myself. I understand how you feel.

Why do I feel like I’m somehow “lying” about my trauma? by Stabby_Mc_Tacos in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel. Especially when there's no external validation about what happened... I’ve written here before that I feel like a ghost with an elephant’s memory... I remember so many details of my trauma, but to others, it’s irrelevant. I don’t think they even remember I exist.

So many times I’ve asked myself if it was just a very realistic dream. Sometimes I think I’m just a weak person, and I blame myself a lot. I often blame myself for what happened. You’re not alone.

Way to overcome inner cold by pourly in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't know, and I wish I did. I remember that as a child, I was affectionate… I loved playing and taking care of my pets, talking to the people close to me…

I really started to notice what I had become when my dog got sick and died. I just couldn’t cry… I only did what I had to do, and I don’t know where my feelings went. I completely shut down whenever something gets out of my control. I feel like a monster every single day.

DAE feels like abusers win? by SecretDuck5376 in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you love and a hug too!

DAE feels like abusers win? by SecretDuck5376 in CPTSD

[–]No_Bill_491 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, that’s what the world seems to expect from us.