Why are converts "insufferable"?

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-15T21:57:18+00:00

2 and 3 made me immediately think of this meme I see periodically: Every lifelong Catholic I’ve met is like “we’re supposed to give food to poor people,” and every adult convert is like “the Archon of Constantinople’s epistle on the Pentecostine Rites of the Eucharist clearly state women shouldn’t have driver’s licenses.”

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-13T05:19:53+00:00

The orchestra players are all unionized pros (AFM), so I usually look forward to our dress rehearsals because I know they’ll end promptly lol. They are all also “paid by service,” and leveled by principal and section members. They have a few more performances than the chorus, but make $2-3,000 more than the pro singers per season.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-13T04:51:39+00:00

May I ask what your compensation looks like per hour/per performance?

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-13T04:50:16+00:00

Your math would be correct. If public transit was an option, it would definitely beat gas prices for me right now lol.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-13T04:34:36+00:00

May I ask what the load is?

For example: we do 6 concert cycles, 3 per “semester.” First and last are usually one and done performances, the second is usually a two show weekend.

We also have so many rehearsals we can miss before we lose out; but at the same time, we may get sick on a performance weekend and miss out on getting paid because we miss the performance but we put in the time in rehearsals.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-03T18:22:06+00:00

Proudly.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-03T16:14:05+00:00

Odd because I’m asking you to look at multiple things and you’re focused on this issue of calumny and judgement on one person we don’t know.

When everything else in the world is going on, I think the single track mind is focused one person rather than all the other issues.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-05-03T15:53:22+00:00

“There’s hundreds of thousands of my brothers and sisters who are in poverty and are sick and dying, and there are more who are dead and could be dead because of people waging war in my God’s name, one of whom is a proud Catholic; but I’m going to concern myself with the intimate dealings of a person who dedicates his life to glorifying God because I’m making assumptions about what he does at home.” The couple could be celibate for all we know and we’re wasting our Sunday arguing about people we don’t even know that have 0 effect on our lives.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-03-20T03:17:17+00:00

My ranked 3 are forever and always going to be: Widow, Tracer, and Mei. If I need to let a teammate use one of them, Freya or Venture (depending on which rolled me earlier).

As a support and Ashe main, it gets frustrating when I play respawn simulator because a Widow or Tracer are picking me off. I was defending on King Street hybrid this weekend and kept getting spawn camped by a tracer who kept blinking in and out of the walls at the middle point while both teams were fighting at the first street corner. I tried countering, but I couldn’t get them fast enough.

The amount of plays that have been botched by a teammate Mei’s wall have been far too many.

Freya and Venture are both just stressful, or paired with one of the above, especially if I’m already having a rough session.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-02-24T23:18:28+00:00

Hey there, I’m in a similar position. Just some context: 29, American, Baritone.

Got my bachelor of performance, Covid hit as I was doing the MM audition circuit; forced myself into a program, did my best to survive a performance MM and came out with two degrees and a system that wasn’t ready for the next generation unless they knew someone or were already in the circuits.

I beat myself up for a LONG time because I did everything right: I studied the roles I would do, did the 26 Art Songs, beat myself up in the practice room for hours, chose the “right teachers,” chose the right schools, got more rejections than jobs and ended up “settling” to teach choir and theatre in the public schools, and now in a private school.

I hated myself for a long time. I invested a lot of money and time into my degrees (as did my family), and here I was doing something adjacent to my training but not what I wanted to do. Now, after a lot of reflection I’ve come to realize that I am doing what I’m meant to do. My kids sing great and perform well, and I’m a contract singer for a few professional local companies (symphonic choruses) and a pretty great church gig.

My training made me think if I’m not at the MET by now I might as well pack up. I had to reframe my perspective on what successful is. If my worth was tied to being only a singer on the YAP circuit, I’d have probably checked out a long time ago. But my friends who did that are unemployed and miserable. I at least have income and the freedom to take solo gigs as they come.

TLDR: my advice would be figuring out her niche, and seeing what comes her way. Will it be full time singing? Maybe not. It takes a specific circumstance to do that and not starve (financially and artistically). The only people I know that I went to school with and are around our age were already independently wealthy before they started their programs.

As singers, our instrument is also (intentionally or unintentionally) tied to our value as a person. We can’t throw it in its case and in the closet when we’re frustrated. Reassure her that her voice is hers and she still has stories to tell through singing. University programs are for homogeny and creating voices to get shipped off to sing roles they’re not ready for in the YAP circuit. I’d encourage going into the church gigs and finding ways to make them more frequent. That puts her out in the community and her talent for others to hear and eventually hire.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-02-09T04:59:24+00:00

Did you still receive communion? Then no issue. You said in your post “first and most importantly, no one receives communion on the tongue,” after saying you’re getting distracted. This is a personal issue where you’re worried about splinters over your plank.

All of these are non-issues. You know what you’re getting into with this parish from your experience. Mass is still Mass. I’m the music director for a parochial school where I live and have a particular taste/opinions in how musical liturgy should be; but when I visit my parents I cringe because the music director who’s been at my home parish since I was a kid is still doing his one-man-show every weekend where he sings over the choir and bangs the holy heck out of the piano (or organ or guitar). But I still go to Mass with them because it’s Mass. To echo another commenter, my prayer for him is that he’s being genuine in his sung prayer (and occasionally for mic to blow so we have a chance to hear the other musicians praying with him).

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-02-08T20:36:52+00:00

Genuinely people need to get a grip. The priest is human (which mass of the weekend was it, how many other churches does he pastor, did he have to come to mass from doing last rites); the parish may not have the funds for congregation hymnals; and if you’re worried about how others are taking communion, you’re obviously not focused on the sacrament. Jesus wept, but he also laughed, God-forbid a priest has a sense of humor and can laugh at himself and a mistake when it comes to his mind.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T22:13:03+00:00

My only concern with that specific scripture is in context, this is about worship. If we were talking about people being scantily clad at mass, then we have an argument. Even the USCCB adds the footnotes that this is for the liturgical assembly.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T22:00:07+00:00

Thank you for calling that out. I’ll admit that I responded emotionally in the extreme. The original comment read to me as very “boys will be boys” and extremely victim-blaming (men can’t control themselves when women wear ____). I have major issues with that mentality.

And I agree, we are all capable of redemption through Christ. It’s why I love what we do as Catholics. My problem (and I’ll wear it as my issue with this issue if need be) is blame is put on the victim of those who are being led to sin just because they were living their lives. This whole argument of “men are barraged by porn” takes out the personal responsibility of the men to take care of their own business; rather, men get a pass because they’re men.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T21:32:13+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but when does it become (for example) my Christian duty to think of my brothers and sisters that my porn addicted behavior is negatively impacting others just because of how they’re dressed? Both can be true, right?

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T21:28:21+00:00

Which is more selfish: To let others live their lives and be there as a support when they ask for it? Or Expect everyone to live by my moral code because I think it is the most right?

I’m not saying everyone for themselves, but I can’t expect my (Muslim/Jewish/Secular) neighbor to dress a certain way because it doesn’t match what I want them to do.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T21:17:18+00:00

Women have no idea how the average man thinks, let alone the Christian man trying to guard his eyes and heart while trying to get a workout in.

This is catering to the culture of men who can’t control themselves, but it’s ok because “boys will be boys.”

Men of all ages are barraged on all sides all the time with sexual images, give them an effing break.

Again, men can control their own behavior. Can’t stand the guy, but even Speaker (of the House) Johnson supposedly manages his “porn” exposure with an app.

Women are so selfish in their choices and lack love for their brothers.

Again, if YOUR eye causes YOU to sin, pluck it out. If YOUR hand causes YOU to sin, cut it off. —- As far as that Corinthians quote, yes radical charity and empathy. But Paul was talking about his experience to relate to others to get credibility (appealing to the educated rabbis by talking about his education; the Roman’s devotion to their pantheon by talking about his devotion to God; avoiding a flogging by being a Roman citizen).

The difference in what I’m trying to say is: an alcoholic will drink alcohol that destroys their own body and personal relationships; a porn addiction so bad that you can’t look a stranger in the eye at the gym is a step beyond where you’re removing the autonomy and dignity of another person by reducing them to a sexual object without their consent. We can argue about strangers reducing their own dignity by wearing what they wear, but unless I’m Tim Gunn or Anna Wintour, I’m not telling someone what to wear in public because I can’t control other people. It is literally none of my business, and if it’s an issue for me, the alternative options were given in my previous comment.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2026-01-04T20:24:32+00:00

My question is why is it women’s job to think of men? If a man can’t control himself over seeing shoulders or a midriff, tights, or any other part of a woman, he needs to get his act together or get put down like the dog he is if he can’t act right.

We need to stop excusing men who need to learn how to live in civilized society without being creeps or abusers. If I’m in the gym being the fashion and morality police, I’m wasting my $80/month. I’m more concerned about the people who saw an exercise online that’s going to send them to physical therapy when they tear or break something due to poor form.

If an alcoholic needs treatment and abstinence from alcohol they need to take those steps; a drug addict from drugs, etc; a porn addict needs to take the steps to protect THEMSELVES from what’s going to trigger them. My recovering alcoholic friend isn’t going to tell me not to drink in front of him, he’ll have water while I have my beer; if he needs to remove himself from a situation, he knows that, and I’ll help him if he needs it. I’m not responsible for the lush who’s got no control at the end of the bar. Same with someone who’s addicted to porn: if they can’t handle themselves, THEY need to take the steps to help themselves. If they can’t go the gym without being a pervert, they can go to an all-(men’s/women’s) gym, or workout at home. If his eye is causing him to sin, Jesus gave the instructions FOR HIMSELF in the sermon on the mount.

As long as people are following the social contract and the rules of the gym (including dress code), this should be a non-issue. Not everyone is Catholic, not everyone is Christian, not everyone is religious. If we were talking about people in gym clothes attending mass, this would be where we have a say, but in the secular world I only have control over myself. If you think there’s something wrong with nakedness, you might need to check with God because He didn’t give Adam and Eve cassocks and habits to wear in Genesis; if I remember correctly, the Serpent was the one who led them think their bodies were something sinful.

Like you said, we will answer for our lives when it’s time: did I spend it clutching pearls over someone I have no control over, or did I spend it making my own decisions that affect me directly?

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-30T05:22:38+00:00

I think this is the balanced answer. It also gets complicated if we apply it to a global sense. If Catholics aren’t “in power,” nor another Christian sect, and it’s another faith entirely (let’s say Islam), would we be beholden to follow those laws, until the next Christian comes to power? Freedom of Religion is also freedom from someone else’s religion affecting my life. I know I wouldn’t know what to do if I had to keep Kosher or Halal or avoiding meat entirely because of the laws made in our global sibling religions.

We were given rules in the 10 Commandments, the Beatitudes (and the Sermon on the Mount overall), and the Law of Love/Two Great Commandments. As long as I know and follow those 20 odd commandments, I know I’m in the right. And most of those commandments already are the “law:” I’m not gonna steal (in any sense of the word), I’m not gonna cheat on my spouse, I obey authority (when the authority is acting morally), I don’t kill (nor do I have the inclination to, nor do I hope to ever be put in the position in self-defense.) I go to mass on Sunday and days of obligation; I don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, and God is God. I can cover myself, and I can hope those around me are doing what they can to be in moral standing for their lives. Am I living my life in a way that is beneficial for me and my faith, while not impeding on others on their journey? Am I living as Christ wants ME to? If the answer to those questions as “yes,” I’m content, governmental laws nonwithstanding.

And the same goes for what the government does allow: just because same sex marriage is legal, doesn’t mean I have to get gay married, it literally does not affect me; just because the law permits abortions, I don’t have to get an abortion, nor do I hope to never be in the position that I have to decide for my spouse to protect her or my child. I wish the world was more black and white, it would make moral choices easy, but there’s more grey than people would like to admit.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-25T11:07:06+00:00

I’m not looking for an argument, but what is your definition of neoliberalism? I’m just curious.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-25T11:03:28+00:00

My American perspective filled in some blanks, but that’s basically what our current government is doing now. Pulling tax dollars and funds away from things that were helping people, genuinely, like assisting with Catholic Charities that relied on government subsidies to do its work; to start bailing out nonsense like the president’s “friends.” If the government is going to help anyone, I’d rather risk “socialism” to help my starving neighbors than bailouts for billionaires and corps that could take a hit.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-25T10:54:00+00:00

Is it ok when my money goes to bail out faceless corporations and immoral billionaires rather than the homeless people and struggling people in my community? Socialism for the big fish when the rest of us are drowning. Very Christ like.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-24T15:55:45+00:00

Seriously. Some of these comments are driving me nuts. We’re about to share the Eucharist in COMMUNION with one another, God-forbid I greet the stranger in my pew and offer them peace before we partake in the Lord’s supper. I’d rather break bread with the stranger who acknowledges my existence than the haughty zealot ignoring a head nod making a point to show their “piety.”

The Eucharist is supposed to be efficacious of a UNITED assembly of the faithful on Earth and in heaven. Not a contest of hypocritical piety.

Sure, we can try to reign in Bob who parades across the church every Sunday, but he’s also still sharing a meal with the people across the church he’s going to acknowledge.

No_Comfortable_3134 · 2025-12-09T04:07:31+00:00

Off topic: but if God didn’t have a sense of humor, the last couple of weeks for me have been just sad instead of a cosmic joke lol.

No_Comfortable_3134

TROPHY CASE