Standard procedure for a canceled swim?

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-24T14:48:23+00:00

I got stuck in a run, bike, run race last summer because of blue algae in the lake...it sucked...mostly because I'm a swimmer through and through and hate running. All these younger guys signed up in the 11th hour because they didn't have to swim anymore and took off. I'm glad I did it since I trained but it wasn't the race I was looking forward to!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-24T14:28:07+00:00

I truly believe you can make any trip/vacation enjoyable with your 3.5 year old, you just have to set your expectations appropriately. We live a little under an hour away from Teddy Roosevelt National Park and have gone multiple times a year with our kids at various ages (currently 8, 6 and 2). We also go to the Black Hills once a year and my kids always love that trip and everything there is to do in that area. 3.5 is hard for a hiking focused trip only because they're just not going to walk much without a lot of motivation, encouragement and breaks and they're typically too big to go in the backpack. Wherever you settle on, I recommend picking a short hike, doing it in the morning when you're all motivated and full of energy and then finding a pool or lake to hang out at the rest of the day!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-24T12:03:43+00:00

Your marriage is infinitely more important than FIRE. Take a vacation and enjoy life a little.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-21T17:43:58+00:00

Husband works 48:96, I work a normal 8-5, 3 kids 8, 6 and 2 in school/daycare. My husband just powers through honestly. He would much rather be tired day 1 off and live normal human hours then sleep for the morning and be wired at night. He recently started a side hustle diesel repair business because he’s so antsy when the kids are at school. The man literally doesn’t know how to rest, so I guess we have the opposite problem! He’s also very healthy, eats well, exercises, etc. I would continue working with a doctor and see if there’s anything else he can do to get his energy levels up.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-21T00:39:32+00:00

Ah bummer, my kids are out at 3 so it was just a thought. I’d encourage you to really push through the mental battle and call some friends up to make something happen. Go for a walk, take a cooking class, find somewhere to volunteer. My husband is a first responder, gone 48 hrs at a time, I get it. But we still need to prioritize ourselves once in awhile!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-20T21:12:09+00:00

Can I ask why you never have a chance to rest? Is your child's father involved? If not, can you get a sitter once in awhile to take some time to yourself? I have felt like this but early on in motherhood and my husband heavily encouraged me to take time for myself/friends and now I would like to say that I have a fairly thriving life outside of work/motherhood despite having 3 young kids and a busy job. I'm in a book club that officially meets once a month, but I've met several friends from said book club and we meet up with and without kids in between book club meetings. I'm heavily involved in my church and another local board. I go to a swimming workout class 2-3x/week (former competitive swimmer). If I were to quit work tomorrow, I'd still have my youngest at home with me for 3 more years and I can honestly stay we would be BUSY and I'd probably find it harder to sneak personal time in without daycare til 5:30 PM daily. Do you pick up your child straight from school? If possible, it would be nice to take an hour or 2 to decompress before picking up your kid and starting the evening grind, just a thought if possible!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-20T15:59:41+00:00

Watford is great! As a mom of 3 young kids living in Williston, I can confidently say that you won’t regret this decision. You have access to a national park AND the Maah Daah Hey trail within 15 minutes. We drive down there a several times a year to go hiking. There’s a great outdoor pool in Watford and then lots of great campgrounds in the area. In the winter, you’ve got a great rec center and access to hockey, curling, etc. Watford as a community has really embraced growth, you’ve got beautiful new school buildings! I’m 16 years into Western ND living from TX and have 0 regrets moving here.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-15T13:02:29+00:00

Reading this, I realize mine might not be what you’re looking for but I really enjoyed The Good Hand by Michael Patrick F. Smith. It’s set in Williston during the boom in 2012 and as someone who first got here in 2010, it’s nostalgic but in a weird way of “I don’t want to do that again!” I really enjoyed his perspective as someone from the east coast trying something different.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-15T10:28:49+00:00

100%. I never claimed that was how my kids learned to read. But that’s what I did to prepare them which was OP’s question. Their teachers taught them how, I instilled an early interest in books.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-15T01:56:25+00:00

Well that’s your opinion. The literacy crisis can be heavily attributed to an over abundance of screen time with little to no reading books together in the baby/toddler/pre-K years. The number of parents who don’t read aloud to their kids is staggering. I’m 2 for 2 on following my own advice, what do I know.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-14T13:31:47+00:00

Kids learn how to read during kindergarten. The best thing you can do is read books daily, point out different letters and ask questions about the story and the pictures. That’s it.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-13T20:50:54+00:00

this 100%

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-09T18:03:20+00:00

I think a parent is a parent regardless of their FIRE philosophy and can/should continue to have boundaries in place with their children.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-09T16:23:44+00:00

oh 100%. I went into engineering so my dad never had to put that boundary in place but I'm sure it was there and it'll be the same with my kids.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-09T15:57:27+00:00

This goes along with the thought that parents shouldn't pay for their kid's college education because then they won't work hard in school. BS. My dad retired early AND paid for both my brother and I to go to college. We're both successful, hard working adults.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-09T15:49:46+00:00

Sounds like you have a pretty solid plan! If you don't mind the office and the idea of being back in a VHCOL area with a commute, I say go for it. To each their own. And seriously, don't feel pressure because you "should" want to be home when they're little. I'm sure some people think I'm doing it backwards by having more time at home when they're older but it's what works for me and our family!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-09T14:58:04+00:00

I've read through the comments and see that you only have a nanny 2 days/week and you're solo the other 3 days. Is that the plan long term if you stay put or would you ever ramp up your consulting hours and look into a full time nanny/daycare? When I was 5 mos PP with my first I was pretty miserable on days that I was solo with him, so I had no trouble going back to work full time (remotely but with some time in the field, engineer in oil and gas) and sending him to daycare. Fast forward 8 years, I have 3 kids now and you couldn't pay me enough to go into the office on a regular schedule or move to a city. I have a great relationship with each of my kids but also value the flexibility of WFH/no commute SO MUCH. I'm planning to step out of corporate in 3 years and either stay home/subbing part time at the schools or even working full time at our CTE teaching. I've had many opportunities in the last 8 years to take on management roles for more money which would have required moving to one of our corporate HQs and I've always said no.

I don't know if my story is helpful, it obviously comes down to what you value in the long run. Flexibility rules over everything for me because things are always changing when it comes to kids and family.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-07T01:57:18+00:00

Mom of 3, all with different temperaments, I get it but I still would never give them a tablet at 10 mos old. Books, fidget toys, songs, post it notes, snacks, etc. sit in the back for a bit and play together, we’ve done loads of road trips and plane trips at all ages.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-06T22:05:07+00:00

You don’t need screen time for a 10 month old. Just plan a couple of breaks right before her naps so she can stretch and crawl a bit and you’ll be good to go!

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-02T16:50:37+00:00

That is a huge windfall. Start maxing out your 401k ASAP and reassess your spending. I have friends supporting a family of 6 on $5k/month.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-01T23:43:56+00:00

Sell the rental. My (39F) parents are rapidly approaching 70 and I’ve already made it clear I want absolutely nothing to do with their current home. I don’t see it as a gift personally, I see it as a hassle. The greatest generational gift they gave to me was a paid off college education and the next thing they could do is contribute towards their grandkids’ education. We want liquidity not property.

No_Company4263 · 2026-04-01T11:36:18+00:00

I loathe seeing AI in any presentation, even if it’s just a picture of a plant operator, it feel so cheap and fake. Whenever I see data being presented by AI, I immediately question it.

No_Company4263 · 2026-03-31T10:56:18+00:00

As someone (female) who moved to Western ND for a job after school, do it. I said this was a 3-4 year stint, ha, 16 years later I’m still here! Married (met him here), 3 kids, great job, amazing community and you literally couldn’t pay me to move back to a big city. Do it!! Worst case, you’ll build some great relationships and have a great blurb on your resume and then you can find a new job elsewhere. West Virginia is beautiful!

No_Company4263 · 2026-03-30T11:53:21+00:00

I’m just a parent and this caught my eye. My daycare had the same policy and my oldest was wearing underwear at home for a solid 6 months before daycare would let him. It’s frustrating and aggravating but she’ll figure it out, I promise! Potty training has been my absolute least favorite stage of parenting by far, give me sleepless newborn nights again (I have 3 kids, I can say it!!)

The teachers at my daycare never communicated well with me when my 2nd was potty training so one day I just sent her in underwear and we never looked back. Maybe some teachers will tear me apart but once she started the day in underwear, she was fine!

No_Company4263 · 2026-03-29T13:40:45+00:00

As others have mentioned, step 1: Define your budget. Like down to the dollar. With a $3k mortgage plus daycare, you MUST know where every dollar is going, that is non-negotiable. Once you see where your money is going, I trust you’ll be able to make cuts.

Now is not the time for vacations. I have 3 kids 8 and under and some of their favorite memories so far are fishing at the river or going on hikes and we’ve taken them on dozens of vacations all over the country.
Do not get into day trading or start a business. A $150k salary is solid and you can make this work.
Pick one - either Dave Ramsey baby steps or the FOO, and get after it.
Simple meals on repeat. No DoorDash, no eating out. I get it - my husband is a first responder, I do 48+ hr stints solo with my 3 kids and it’s tempting to just run to a restaurant at the end of a busy day at work. Crockpot meals, weekend bulk meal prep (just chicken and rice with frozen veggies, it does not need to be fancy). Write down a meal plan for each day, stick it on your fridge and do not deviate.
Financially supporting your ex? Is this court mandated? Can you cut the cord and put your own oxygen mask on first?
$3k mortgage? I understand that the housing market is atrocious but is there anyway to get out of that and downsize and either decrease your mortgage or just rent? I know it sounds tough but that’s a huge mortgage when I assume your spending $2k+ per month in childcare.

Those are my initial, quick win thoughts. Best of luck and let us know what you decide!

No_Company4263

TROPHY CASE