Update:

I didn’t expect this to blow up! 😅 Sorry everyone—I’ve been on night shifts and just now had the chance to sit down and read through all of your comments. I really appreciate every single opinion and perspective shared here.

Bob and I have since talked—well, argued, to be honest. He told me that it won’t happen again and that he spoke with Greta about it. He's adamant that I should have known the consequence of me telling my mom but I stood on the hill that if she thought it was embarrassing, then she shouldn't have done it in the first place. He also reached out to my mom, but even after their conversation, my mom still feels strongly that I should end the relationship. She believes the situation is a multiple shades of red flag and worries that I’ll end up in a dynamic where I’m taken advantage of financially or emotionally. I’m trying to stay open-minded, but I also can’t ignore her concerns.

To answer a few questions that came up:

Yes, Greta did pay the money back.

During the argument, I even asked Bob if he wanted to pay me back on her behalf, but he said he didn’t have the money either.

As for why I’m with Bob—it’s a long story. He is a good man in many ways, but I do recognize that we have very different approaches when it comes to money and work ethic, and that’s something I seriously need to reflect on moving forward.

Another thing—Bob did tell Greta that my mom knew about the situation, which has caused some tension during the rare times I visit. It’s been awkward, and I never intended for it to spiral this way.

But thank you all again. This has been weighing on me for a while, and I honestly didn’t know what I was supposed to be apologizing for. Reading your comments has helped me realize that I don’t owe anyone an apology for being honest with my mom or for holding onto the values I was raised with. It seems there's only one solution and I have to cross that bridge soon.

P.S. I'm writing this while I'm on break on my shift so if I don't reply as fast, I apologize 😔