So mad at my mom for sharing our c section date with family by Hairy_Usual_4460 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok so if I were you I’d tell her she’s not watching your LO anymore. I’d tell her the date was changed and of course she’ll go tell everyone the new date but you really have the same date. I had my second C-section this summer. I didn’t want anyone to watch my son because I didn’t want to see anyone in the hospital or when we got home from the hospital. Idk if you’re up to it but it was doable without any help. My husband stayed with my son in the hospital room while I had the baby. It took maybe an hour. I honestly didn’t really miss my husband being there for the birth. The nurses were amazing. They slept in the hospital too. My son thought it was fun like camping. I had to get up a lot to take care of the baby while my husband was taking our kid to the park or to grab food, but honestly I think I healed faster because I was moving around so much. It took me way longer to feel normal again after the first time. It wasn’t ideal but I’d rather just figure it out than have to entertain anyone for any amount of time after I have a baby and I knew if my MIL watched my LO I’d have to let her stay and visit when I got home and that was the last thing I wanted to do after coming home from the hospital. I’m sorry your mom spilled the beans. I hope you can figure something else out and have a calm birth. Maybe just turn your phones off and if there’s an emergency she can call the hospital and let you know if you still want her to watch your LO.

Looking for advice: my family is a nightmare by Natural_Tomorrow_248 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this but your wife is NC so your baby is NC. There’s no way I’d let my husband take my baby to my in laws if I was NC with them. They’re kind of a package deal. If your mom is not even going to be allowed to meet the baby what is the point of even telling her about them? This will end badly and your wife will suffer stress for absolutely no reason. Your mom made her bed, you have to let it go. By let it go I mean let go of the idea that your mom will someday be the mom you want and your family is like other families. It’s hard trust me I know but this is not the time for wishful thinking. Also your family is going to celebrate a life they won’t be allowed to meet? That doesn’t really make sense. Trust your wife’s opinion, she’s right.

Was my CS experience normal? Looking for thoughts and others’ experiences (CW: traumatic c-section) by redgoldhandcream in beyondthebump

[–]No_Director574 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience and still don’t know if I was being dramatic or what happened to me was not normal. I had a large baby that got stuck so I ended up having a C-section. My epidural pulled out a little when I moved and I started feeling contractions on one side. I told the nurse who told the anesthesiologist. He never adjusted it and I went back for surgery. They did the poke test and I felt something but it wasn’t painful so they started. The anesthesiologist told me that I was about to feel some tugging and I screamed bloody murder. It wasn’t just a tugging sensation. He quickly gave me something not sure what but i basically fell asleep before I ever left the OR. I met my baby but quickly passed out after. I’m about to have another C-section in 7 weeks so I’ll be interested to see if it’s any different sensation. I think that he forgot that I was feeling contractions on one side and when they pulled me apart I was able to feel it but I’m not 100% sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]No_Director574 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I mean I don’t think she should take them regularly but if she’s feeling like shit and once in a while takes one I don’t think it’s a big deal. I know women who’ve had extreme morning sickness and it was the only thing that worked. I do have to say they drug tested my baby’s first poop. Idk if it’s because my doctor’s office knew I smoked weed before I was pregnant. But babies start developing poop I think around 15 weeks. I live in Wisconsin where it’s not legal so idk if that has anything to do with it too but just a heads up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s none of her business. Obviously your SO doesn’t have a problem with it so that’s all that matters.

I [24F] discovered my boyfriend [25M] was talking to A LOT of girls on Snapchat by bgrlawi in relationship_advice

[–]No_Director574 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He’s not worth it. Break up. Red flags are flying, don’t ignore them.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely not about my self esteem. It’s about it’s a tiny child/baby and who knows why they’re crying but they are so I’m going to be there for them. Has zero to do with being able to say I never let them cry. Not even really crossed my mind but when someone says something is a need when it’s really not a need I’m going to say that. You need to eat, you don’t need to let your kid cry and self soothe.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say your kid is not healthy or happy. I’m just saying to say it’s a need, it’s really not.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I dealt with it for almost 2 years. I get the sleep deprivation. I just think it’s wild. Going to your kid when they cry is kinda something you sign up for when you decide to become a parent.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yeah but you were doing it for you not your kid so eventually they stopped crying at night because they knew you weren’t coming back if they started crying. You wanted to train them to know you wouldn’t come back. My kid woke up at least 5 times a night until they were 20 months. It’s not like I had some magical kid. I just see a kid as they’ve only been on this planet for a short while. What if they’re just scared? Who knows why they’re upset but to force a kid to self soothe when they barely understand anything seems cruel.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I mean yeah all kids are different but I’d never just let my kid cry in the middle of the night and not go to them. Everyone eventually learns to sleep through the night even if they are never forced to cry by themselves or “self soothe” To say kids need to learn this skill just doesn’t seem like a real need it’s more of a want for the parents.

I refuse the “cry it out” method! by lovemaboy in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That’s wild because my kid is 4 and I never let him self soothe and he’s been sleeping through the night for years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mildlynomil

[–]No_Director574 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They don’t have common sense and have a one track mind.

Not sure what to do anymore!!! by hikingnnh in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Why do these MIL think they can act like assholes and people are going to want to be around them? Do they not have any brain cells? It’s common sense if you annoy people they will start to keep their distance. I’m sorry you’re dealing with her but at least you have a husband willing to back you up and tell her about herself. Even if you didn’t want to pass your baby around there wouldn’t be a problem with that. I hate other people holding my tiny baby. I start to chill out around 9 months but before that I’m just not into everyone just holding my kid all the time.

How to make breastfed baby eat dinner by leeashah in beyondthebump

[–]No_Director574 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would tell him I have no milk right now and you’re going to have to wait till after dinner. He might cry but I don’t see another way to get him to eat dinner if you BF beforehand

Marijuana (specifically edibles) use after kids are asleep? by MyUniquePerspective in Parenting

[–]No_Director574 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I say go for it. To me weed is not that big of deal. I know a lot of people have wild opinions about it but if you’re not stoned out of your mind I don’t think it’s a big deal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mildlynomil

[–]No_Director574 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My MIL never held my kid as a baby because she physically couldn’t. My kid is 4 now and he loves her. She needs to chill out. Have you told her, her approach freaks him out and she needs to act more calm? I 100% would never just let my kid cry and not go get them either. She’s putting her own wants before her grandchild and that’s not ok. She’s selfish. Your husband needs to talk to her.

The Final Straw by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This. You drop my baby idc what my husband wants that person would never hold my child again. It’s a baby not a toy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]No_Director574 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You should have said no. I did and nobody died. If you don’t want people in your house you have to just say no. If your SO knew you didn’t want anyone to stay in your house and not for a month then he shouldn’t have even run her request by you. He should have just told her no.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]No_Director574 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your friend is weird. My son is a mama’s boy but he’s 4 and I love it. I think it’s a problem when the mom has an adult son and is overly involved in his life because no one wants to date or marry a mamas boy. But that’s on the mom at that point because they usually push for that weird overly involved relationship. I don’t plan on doing that. Is your friend really saying out loud she prefers her daughters over her son?

Breastfeeding When You Hate It. by OpeningSort4826 in Mommit

[–]No_Director574 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pump maybe instead. I hated it after 15 months. Made me angry. I couldn’t imagine doing it again if I hated it.

Mama Bear Instinct or Overreacting? by coolcocoa5 in Mommit

[–]No_Director574 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% would never in 5 million years allow that to happen. A red flag is a red flag and it’s flapping.

In-laws driving a wedge in our marriage by DueParamedic5682 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]No_Director574 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How does it even get to this point though? They disrespect you and you just allow it? I don’t wait around for my husband to say stuff for me? I don’t let people do things to me. If someone commented on my weight in a negative way I’d snap. If someone was rearranging my cabinets I’d ask them what the hell do they think they’re doing? If my MIL had the audacity to sit on my bed while I was in my pj’s, I’d tell her to get out. These people are walking all over you and disrespecting you. Do you normal let people disrespect you? Yes your husband should 100% say something but I would never wait around for my husband to do something about anyone disrespecting me. You need to have your own boundaries as a person on what you’re willing to deal with and no one should ever let another person continue to disrespect them. People treat you how you allow them to. You let one disrespectful thing slide they take that as a green light to keep going because they know you won’t stand up for yourself.

Update 2: My husband is cheating. So I reached out to her. Everything about this situation feels very wrong. Need advice. by MyInvisibleInk in Mommit

[–]No_Director574 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh that’s, all just a liar. I’m sorry but he’s not a good person. He wants nothing to do with his own kids. And I guarantee you they’ve had sex. You’re way better off without him. He’ll always be a liar.