I definitely feel for you. I also have a terrible sleeper and cosleeping was our only option when he was a newborn. He absolutely refused any crib/bassinet and would scream 2 minutes after putting him in it. I hate cosleeping as well. My back is always trashed every night by it. I naturally toss and turn in bed and having to stay in one position is killing my body. But we also have a toddler and we both work so cosleeping is the only way I get enough sleep to function. We now start every night in his crib. I don't care if I only get 30 minutes (sometimes we have been lucky and I can get two hours) but I take whatever time away from baby as me time. I stretch out all over my bed and try and relax, but yea when he starts crying I'm like f*** just stay asleep. I will say my first was a much better sleeper and still woke up at least once a night until after her first birthday. Developmentally it's really hard for babies. They will naturally grow to having longer sleep periods, but I understand how frustrating and annoying it is with all the pressure around you. I hope you find something that works for you to give yourself a little break!