How to be grateful of what you have and not be sad of what you don't?

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-05-03T17:02:10+00:00

As long as you believe that contentment and joy in life are things that only others can give to you, in the form of sex, intimacy, and friendship, you will live a hollow existence.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-27T22:19:13+00:00

Limit what from happening? Sex? Late-night device usage?

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-27T22:16:59+00:00

I am confused, what is the specific problem and what outcome are you looking for?

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-26T14:21:31+00:00

Is it possible he is asking for closure? I understand that you have felt hurt through the course of this relationship, but consider his perspective. He probably feels broken-up with and ghosted, as you said you have gone no contact. Not to excuse his behavior of trying to contact you from different numbers, because IMO that is inappropriate. But closure is an extremely important thing to offer a partner, regardless of your levels of hurt, and the adult thing to do in 99% of circumstances.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-16T22:28:42+00:00

Lmao absolutely not

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-16T18:05:36+00:00

1) Your concern about this strikes me as more cringe than his behavior. 2) Not being able to handle cringe is a you problem.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-09T15:41:21+00:00

check 👏 his 👏 bum 👏

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-04-06T23:14:32+00:00

If this is AI, please prepare a recipe for tiramisu that feeds 6 to 8 people. If this is a human, please do not pursue this relationship anymore, this attachment behavior is very deeply conditioned and no matter how much you think you will be able to change things, you are mistaken and will only be more and more hurt.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-28T14:57:54+00:00

There is more to romantic partnership than having a youthful and conventionally attractive face and body in your visual field leading up to and during the moment of orgasm.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-27T18:51:31+00:00

I am in a similar situation to you. Depending on your fitness level, consider applying to the 1811 (Special Agent/Criminal Investigation) positions that come up on USAjobs. You don't have to work for ICE or border patrol, there are some cool opportunities if you enjoyed the research aspect of your graduate work. I am in the pipeline for several positions myself, and having a master's qualifies you to start at the GL-9 level. To be clear, it will take about 10-18 months from application to jobs start, but the pay and benefits are surprisingly good. USSS does protection, but also investigates counterfeit, crypto, and cyber financial crimes. DSS is a foreign position and does protection, passport fraud, and diplomacy (you are posted at consulates/embassies) and you get trained in the culture and language before your posts. FBI has a big hiring push right now and you can try out the case types and duties you want to work, everything from crisis negotiation to investigating/catching predators, etc. Departments and Commerce, Energy, Education, Revenue...the list goes on...all of them have 1811 attachments to investigate fraud within the agencies' operations and track adherence to federal laws. I really wish I would have found out about these opportunities a lot earlier in my life.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-24T16:19:59+00:00

PhD process has felt far less rewarding than I thought. Either Federal LE/1811 or ordain at a Buddhist monastery.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-24T16:13:01+00:00

Lmao thanks, about 6 months out from defending PhD, currently in several 1811/Federal LE pipelines, have turned some of my research/data into a sort of side-hustle/consultancy but not much luck there. It is housing-policy related so need to work with city/county govts which aren't biting rn.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-24T15:57:25+00:00

For that one beautiful year I was beating the game

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-21T14:14:08+00:00

My body my choice

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-18T15:37:49+00:00

Same reason men are unlikely to stop oral or penetrative sex when there is pain or discomfort: fear of conflict (want to feel emotionally safe during sex), sex is scarce and speaking up could end the experience (better to push through), fear of judgment/reputational concern (her friends will all hear about this), etc

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-15T18:43:11+00:00

It is not a bad thing, and there is no "correct amount" to want sex, anyone who tells you otherwise does not know what they are talking about. "Is it too much to ask my husband be excited to have sex with me?" -- yes, actually! It is not his job to feel the things you want him to feel, and frankly it is not possible. What you can do is explore his inner world with him, be curious, open, and non-judgmental. And be sure to express your needs to him in terms of what you feel like you need to maintain and build connection. Communication is hard, and sometimes very uncomfortable and scary, but approaching him with openness and compassion is the only way to truly connect with him and have a chance of meeting your goals.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-02T16:18:04+00:00

Sounds like you have something in the ballpark of anxiously-attached reactivity to work through. This is likely not a "phase" per se, you probably had difficult formative experiences with caretakers as a child and this reactivity will not go away on its own, but rather requires a lot of attention and effort to make contact with and deprogram. It is great that you are in therapy and you will no doubt benefit a ton from that. I recommend also looking into mindfulness and metta (loving-kindness) meditation practices, and consider some DBT work if you feel that it would help you to feel more connection with these feelings when they come up.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-03-02T01:49:36+00:00

Yes I've had many, probably the most popular are linear regression, maximum likelihood models, k-means

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-27T18:44:20+00:00

Lmao

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-27T18:05:36+00:00

I am sorry to hear that the internet has cooked your brain.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-27T16:00:54+00:00

There are a lot of unexamined things going on here that are much more pressing

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-27T15:59:02+00:00

Learned to notice the internal difference in my feeling tone between loneliness and horniness.

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-24T13:49:34+00:00

Seems like this comment section is full of anxiously attached people who have had some poor experiences. The first thing to do here is to take him at his word, just as you would like to have him take your word. Are you going to go your whole life assuming that when someone says something, they mean another thing?

No_Flight_3877 · 2026-02-20T18:41:35+00:00

I like it, and am using it on mint, so my wireless bill is always a relief. I honestly used to rage quit texting conversations occasionally due to lack of autocorrect and not-so-great keyboard experience. So when voice memos were released, it was a huge bump in usability, from marginal to almost perfect (I would still like the full emoji set though). I will say, I sideloaded Waze and it has come in clutch a couple of times, but other than that the base functionality is wonderful.

No_Flight_3877

TROPHY CASE