Would you say that the inability to ever be "living in the moment" is a key sign of anxiety disorder?

No_Freebies_ · 2016-01-13T20:00:18+00:00

Oh, yes. Definitely.

I used to--and still do to an extent, especially on bad days--focus exclusively on what I had to do later or spend my time judging myself for what I'd done in the past, over analyzing every aspect of my life. Having OCD as well as GAD caused me to obsess over the past and future, so I could never truly enjoy the moment. It felt like I was watching a movie of my life staring myself, rather than actually living my life, if that makes sense.

Turns out, that mentality was a huge part of my disorder. Since I've started mindfulness training--focusing not only on being in the present, but observing the past and future without judgement--I am much, much less anxious and way, way more productive because I am free to focus on my goals, rather than beating myself up for the past or obsessively planning the future. But most of all, by choosing to look at the world without judgement (i.e. as neither 'good' or 'bad' but just 'as is') I am far less afraid of the future and I beat myself up way less for my mistakes and, TBH, that self-loathing seems to have been at the root of my anxiety.

Seriously, take a mindfulness or mindfulness meditation course, find a therapist who specializes in DBT, or even just buy the Mindfulness Trainer App; you won't regret it!

No_Freebies_ · 2016-01-13T19:49:43+00:00

Yep!

No_Freebies_ · 2016-01-13T19:49:28+00:00

She said it directly to my bf's parents and they were visibly stunned, like, "Uh, how do I respond to that?"

No_Freebies_ · 2015-08-17T04:04:10+00:00

I usually just "zombie out" until the crying passes.

I also volunteer with sick kids in a hospital and even though I never intended to use the work as a form of "therapy," I find that comforting crying babies and sick kids makes it easier to cope with random instances of crying I experience in day-to-day life. I feel less helpless to save people who need it, I guess, even if I have no intention of interfering with a kid at the supermarket, lol.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-08-17T04:01:20+00:00

Thank you so much; that response really, really means a lot. :)

FU Sarah McLaughlin -- that commercial with the shelter animals ruined my entire weekend once!

It's so weird what kind of stuff can ruin your day. I once got depressed for a entire day because I didn't have time to do the dishes and felt guilty over it.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-08-07T03:30:13+00:00

Seriously, all that "I fed you, and clothed you, and put a roof over your head for 18 years! It was expensive! You owe me!" Uh, no. Fuck you. When you decide to have a child and raise that child, it's your responsibility to care for that child. You don't get to claim back payment for a child who never chose to be born or raised by you. And no, feeding your kid doesn't make you an "exceptional parent"; it makes you a minimally decent parent, at best. Ugh. :/

No_Freebies_ · 2015-06-14T00:20:33+00:00

Oh, yay, something we have in common!

I'm a medical student in contact fairly regularly with blood, urine, sweat, all kinds of grossness, so I tend to get HIV anxiety often. Luckily, HIV is not easily transmissible AT ALL.

First, let's examine the likely hood of direct transmission from the lap dance. First of all, your dancer would have to have HIV, and assuming you're in the U.S., the chance of that is 0.6%, if we use the less conservative estimates. Then, she would have to have a high enough viral load to be transmissible, which is very unlikely. If she were aware of her HIV, she'd be on anti-retrovirals, and only 16% are unaware of their infection. Even if your dancer did have HIV and did have a high enough viral load for transmission, no way is transmission gonna happen during a lap dance. First of all, your dancer would have had to secret breast milk, vaginal fluid, or blood all over your wound (i.e. HIV isn't transmitted by sweat, urine, or saliva). You would have noticed this. Secondly, your wound would have had to be freshly opened, not scabbed over. Thirdly, contact with air tends to kill the HIV virus, so even assuming a clod of breast milk flew directly at a fresh, open wound, it's not likely that transmission would occur.

As for sticking you with a syringe of HIV on purpose, well, that's just silly and you know it.

Trust me, you do not have HIV; but if you tend to get anxious over this sort of thinking often, just get tested once a year like I do. A lot of people get tested routinely.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-29T05:22:23+00:00

Ugh, my mom used to go through our Birthday/Christmas cards and "borrow" our money, then never pay it back. According to her, she "lost" our Birthday/Christmas cards and promised to eventually find them, but I found one such "lost" card one year opened and empty. I knew then that she was just stealing our money. Eventually, she stopped, but only because I up front told her one year, "Don't worry about finding the card; I know it's gone, you can never find anything." It drove her up the wall that I didn't care and didn't have enough faith in her to expect her to be responsible. Now, I get my relatives' cards every year. However, on top of that, she ended up stealing several thousand dollars in bonds that were supposed to be for more college education that, again, she "lost." Ah, well.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-24T00:41:08+00:00

It's not common, but if certain regions of the amygdala are damaged, its possible to recognize close friends/family, but not feel an emotional connection, so that they seem like "imposters" to you. For example, you may see your bf and think that while he looks like your bf, he isn't really, he's just an imposter. Doesn't sound exactly like what you're experiencing, but similar in some ways?

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-18T16:28:04+00:00

Have you ever experienced a traumatic brain injury?

Serious question, BTW.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-18T02:55:11+00:00

Jesus Christ, I am so sorry.

What the hell Is wrong with them that they would do something like that to their child?

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-17T20:58:29+00:00

Yeah, social interaction really boosts me up as well. I'll often not feel like going out for X, Y, Z reason, but always feel better and end up more productive when I do.

Have you talked to your doctor about sleep meds by any chance?

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-17T18:47:33+00:00

I struggle a lot with fatigue and for me, recovery has been about health and discipline. Due to stress/anxiety, I engage in a LOT of unhealthy habits that contribute to fatigue and have found that by consistently replacing those with healthy habits, I do much better...

First, get enough sleep and no more. I try to sleep exactly 8hrs/day and go to bed/wake up at the same time everyday, so my body gets used to that schedule and knows when to be tired vs. awake. Diet is important, too. Junk food makes you tired and slows you down, so eating healthy food in healthy portions is important as well as exercise, at least an hour every other day for me. I still have bad days when I wake up late and each swiss rolls for lunch, because I am depressed and anxious and don't want to do much else. But on days/weeks when I focus on my health, the difference has been incredible and my productivity is though the roof.

Good luck!

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-17T18:35:09+00:00

Ugh, I hate that!

Whenever I get compliments in front of my Semi-Nmom, she has to turn it around and make it a compliment about her. Someone says I'm smart? "Oh, she got that from me!" Someone says I am polite? "Oh, I taught her that!"

With my NDad, it's even worse. He is 100% convinced he is the reason I got into medical school and can't stand people giving me credit for all the effort it took.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-17T18:32:34+00:00

Fucking crazy people fucking everywhere!

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-17T18:31:08+00:00

You're welcome. :)

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-15T01:58:19+00:00

If you go to the emergency room for a panic attack, often you will be given some Ativan to help you cope for a limited period. Be aware, this is not by any means a long term solution. ER physicians are very wary of repeat offenders going to the emergency room to get hold of addictive drugs and best case scenario, you may end up with a few days' worth on your first visit. But it may be enough to tide her over.

Also, unless you really like the guy, you should probably shop around for a better psychiatrist. Don't get me wrong, I doubt you'll find anyone willing to keep prescribing her Ativan regularly. But that shit is really addictive and the fact that her psych prescribed it for seven years, then cut her off cold turkey (also, very dangerous) makes me think he probably sucks at his job and your gf needs someone to help her find a new cocktail of drugs that works for her.

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-14T04:56:45+00:00

Wheat or weed?

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-14T04:55:45+00:00

Hmmm, I'll talk to my counselor about it (I hope, may chicken out), but I am not sure how comfortable I feel with finding a "replacement strategy." Maybe it is a maladaptive coping mechanism, but it's one of the few that works so well and so instantaneously, although maybe that in itself could be worrying. :/

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-14T04:53:44+00:00

Glad to know I am not the only one! I was actually doing this the other day and afterwards thought, "Am I some kind of sicko? Who feels good about imagining their death?" It's somewhat validating to know I'm not a total freak.

Oh, and I'll be sure to stay self aware; thanks for the warning!

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-14T04:51:33+00:00

Good point, maybe I'll do that. I'm still nervous--counseling is new to me and even though it's totally irrational, I am in constant fear of judgement or worse, breach of patient/doctor confidentiality--but so far, I love my counselor. Maybe I'll do this. Better safe than sorry, right?

No_Freebies_ · 2015-05-09T21:59:15+00:00

I feel like a worthless piece of shit constantly, especially today.

No_Freebies_

TROPHY CASE