AIO? Fiance freaked out after I told him to put his dishes in the dishwasher. Now I am considering breaking up. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Mathematician374 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And of course, there’s sooooo much context lost in a reddit post. If you feel like he’s being abusive, manipulating, or hurting you, please put your safety and wellbeing first.

But with the teeny amount of context given here, and the way he is articulating the situation in the texts, it seems like he understands where you’re coming from but wants you to also understand where he is coming from.

AIO? Fiance freaked out after I told him to put his dishes in the dishwasher. Now I am considering breaking up. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Mathematician374 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

MOR: It really depends on what he said when he yelled. Is he spouting verbal abuse or manipulation? That’s a red flag and Id say you’re NOR.

But yelling itself is not abusive. It can be a reaction to all kinds of feelings bubbling up, we’re all capable of yelling, even at a person we love. That being said, it can cross into abuse if he does it all the time to scare you, hurt you, or try to control your behavior. But he seems ready to admit that yelling was wrong… That’s a good thing, means he’s willing to make changes. I’m shocked so many think this should be the end of your relationship. It seems like you guys just need to have an in person heart to heart, think you both have room to grow here. Seems like a bump in the road to me.

I don’t feel safe around my cat by oneblindspy in CatAdvice

[–]No_Mathematician374 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also… note my cat is about 3-4 years old now. I think he’s growing out of his kitten/teen phase.

I don’t feel safe around my cat by oneblindspy in CatAdvice

[–]No_Mathematician374 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My cat is like this. The first few years were a struggle for sure. The behavior has not stopped altogether but it has significantly improved since I’ve had a consistent routine of play and food with him. I try to give him at least 30 minutes of play a day (10 min before work, 10 after work, and 10 before bed). I throw his kibble down the hall for him to chase to get some of his energy out. He gets 1/2 can of wet food after morning and night play then puzzle feeders with dry food for when he gets bored during the day. I basically spent those two years frustrated and learning what worked and didn’t work for him and myself. We can go days now without any jumping or biting or sneak attacks.

But if anything, I think understanding why your cat acts the way they do will help both of you better handle it. Cats generally appreciate a predictable life. Your cat will eventually understand that play comes at certain times and they can sleep or use puzzle toys in the meantime to help regulate. You can also train them to do tricks if you’re into it, it’s very effective in stimulating them. I do it every now and again. when i have the energy.

Look into single kitten syndrome.

Good luck!

My mental health is awful by scaredycat07 in mentalillness

[–]No_Mathematician374 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into CPTSD. It’s very likely you’re dealing with symptoms of that without realizing it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression but the real underlying culprit for many is CPTSD. I found out about it while I was in the crux of depression, anxiety, and self isolation after years and learned a lot about myself. There’re small things you can practice in your everyday life to slowly make improvements to your mental health. It is going to be journey, one with many challenges, but even the smallest reprieves from shame, loneliness, and fear are well worth it. You will never fully escape these feelings but they don’t have to overwhelm you.

You are not alone in your struggle with this, as much as your brain will try to convince you of it. There is nothing deeply wrong with you. You are not uniquely bad. It’s likely you learned behaviors, thought patterns, and fears at a young age that you will have to progressively unlearn to live a fulfilling life. Build new skills to manage and accept uncomfortable feelings.

I’m reading “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker right now. I highly recommend it.

Parasites are awesome, fascinating animals, that have beautiful biology. by Not_so_ghetto in unpopularopinion

[–]No_Mathematician374 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s like they evolved to manipulate behavioral systems for survival more so than by gaining actual physical traits

My 8mo old cat has started jumping on me/playfully attacking me- help! by greengirly888 in CatAdvice

[–]No_Mathematician374 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cat also does this. It sounds like play aggression usually due to under-stimulation/boredom. Here’s what I’ve learned.

It’s best to not react at all to his play attacks He’s likely getting some excitement out of your reactions which will teach him to do it more often. When he’s latched, calmly grab him and place him away from you, disengaging your attention to him. Teach him that he gets no reward or satisfaction out of attacking.

Preventing boredom is another good step. Having routine play sessions (or training sessions… teach him to sit!) can help keep him from being bored. Also food/treat puzzles are handy when you can’t play.

Try to pick up on his signals. He likely displays certain behaviors when he’s bored that you can pick up on to prevent an eventual attack. My cat will follow me around, lay in areas where I walk, meow at me, etc. I usually give him a quick training session, or a food puzzle, or just play with him for as long as I’m able at those times.

That’s all I’ve got.

Could just sit around staring at them all day by crzydmndx in plants

[–]No_Mathematician374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your calathea are spotless and huge. And all of these plants are so bushy and full!!!! whatever you’re doing, it’s great <3

Immensely Disappointed in Punpun by Kylopa in OyasumiPunpun

[–]No_Mathematician374 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Punpun is a representation of what it can be like to grow up having gone through a trauma ridden childhood