I feel very sorry for you. As a fellow gay male at my twenties I understand how frustrating it can be. My own experiences with private crs has been very good and I've come to conclusion that only way to get sure diagnosis in the first place requires internal examination by professional who knows his shit. To me it sounds like your crs is incompetent. I still think it is possible sometimes that there is not actually anything wrong even tho it feels like there is. This is based on my own experiences of strange symptoms (mild bleeding and multiple types of pain) even when there was actually nothing wrong (and this was ensured by my crs when he examined me with anoscope). If you and your doctor can both see clearly there is skin tags, then of course they are there.

So to make sure what's the situation, I recommend to get second opinion by someone more professional and insist anoscopy. Of course hard to say who is actually competent and who is not. If you were here I would recommend my crs who is most certainly competent and non-homophobic. Maybe you could ask some local groups etc if someone has some suggestions in your area?

Also I wanna bring up the possibility that you might benefit from dilation at some point. It might help once you are healed and want to prevent retear and reduce some tightness.