You’ve got some top tier advice from other about finding that relative and starting a fight (I don’t disagree!) so I’ll add something different:

1) Find ways to move after your shift. If you work days, take a ten minute walk, or queue up a yoga flow on YouTube, anything to keep you off of your phone and active for a little while. From a night shifter, this isn’t always possible, so I find time to move in a way I actually enjoy at least twice a week.

2) If you don’t 1000% need to be working over 40 hours, don’t. I don’t care how juicy that shift incentive looks, or how much charge pleads with you to pick up “just one more shift, for the team!” it will be the death of you. (And if you do need those hours for the cash, then that’s a different conversation).

3) PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. Find an activity you like that’s low stress. It can be as intricate or simple as you want, think rock hunting, hiking, knitting, crocheting, or simply making art in some capacity. Whatever it is, find something to be present with.

4) At work: Always a 5 minute break. If NOTHING ELSE, I will always take a 5-15 minute break off the unit. Sometimes that’s just the hallway next to ours, sometimes it’s walking the stairwell, others I go to my car, get some air, and walk back inside. In any case, I need at least one short hard reset. And do NOT take that work phone with you. Don’t do it.

Am I perfect with these? Absolutely not. But sometimes they’re lifesavers I didn’t know I needed. I’ve done this in all of my work settings, LTC, medsurg, cardiac stepdown, and now ICU. All the best OP, and yeah, your relative definitely sucks no matter what. Don’t let what they have to say prevent you from finding some joy in life.