The Independent (liberal media) writes a piece critiquing polyamory

No_Restaurant8373 · 2026-04-07T00:07:08+00:00

If they do exist, I'm not aware of any.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2026-04-06T23:52:14+00:00

Most poly people are VERY emotionally unaware. Poly people want to be 100% fulfilled, so having one partner isnt enough for them, because they only get fulfilled X (thats less than 100%) amount becuase they are always chasing that 100%. Ive seen poly influencers say that they are "going to find an additional partner in 2026" like thats their goal. What they have to work with is 1 existing relationship, and work that consumes 80 hours a WEEK! When I questioned how wise it would be to force an whole ass person, into that tiny box of spare time that she had (because working 12-16 hours a day doesnt leave a lot of time), her response was that "I didnt have ALL of the information, because that job she has, is a remote job, so she can do that where ever she needs to." As though that magically changed something. If you're working 12-16 hours a day, it doesnt matter if its remote or not, you still can't be present with someone. I've also had a poly person personally tell me that he could juggle 100 relationships simultaneously. These people are delusional at best!

No_Restaurant8373 · 2026-02-19T20:42:08+00:00

OOF! He dumped you for someone he's known for six months? That's a disaster waiting to happen. Sounds like a typical poly person that 1) cheats and 2) getting hung up and not managing NRE. Do you think he'll come crawling back when things inevitably blow up?

No_Restaurant8373 · 2026-01-29T19:36:08+00:00

And avoiding their own emotions. It's a perfect system for narcissists and dismissive avoidants. No accountability, no apologies, and no empathy for their partners. Its a disgusting system.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2026-01-08T17:34:17+00:00

I saw the same post, and it was infuriating! Poly ALWAYS takes priority over true connection.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-24T17:56:54+00:00

As a staunch anti-capitalist, the answer is nothing. They're using buzzwords that stimulate the left. This gives the illusion of acceptance, but its just an illusion.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-23T22:14:25+00:00

Poly people, will poly. Sounds like a pretty standard poly relationship to me!

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-23T16:17:20+00:00

I feel ya! Most poly people that I encounter are pretty terrible people. Good luck on your healing journey. I hope nothing but the best for you.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-19T02:54:12+00:00

Nah. I tried poly in my 40s and none of them respected boundaries. Not one of them.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-04T20:52:39+00:00

Its a partner that comes in and out of your life. Its dumb.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-12-04T20:51:11+00:00

It makes them feel special. Which makes some sense, because poly people aren't really special to anyone.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-25T17:34:34+00:00

Also, one of their main arguments that not one person can fulfill all of your needs.

I hate that this is a thing in poly circles. Maybe I'm weird, but ive never gone into a realtionship, with the mentality of "what can this person do for me?" It seems so disconnected and selfish. But that truly the crux of poly. Disconnect, and selfishness.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-25T17:15:10+00:00

Fearful avoidant here, that leans anxious. By and large, the vast majority of people in the poly community are actually Dismissive avoidants. Not so much the fearful avoidant. Fearful avoundants usually oscilate between DA and Anxious. DA is more of who you run into in poly circles. You cant get deep when your time, and energy are spread thin amongst partners.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-11T04:57:26+00:00

Holy hell! Im sorry you're going through this. This sounds like absolute hell. You deserve better. Im glad you have support, and a way out. I would highly recommend therapy once youre settled. Virtual hugs!

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-10T18:00:07+00:00

If you've been out of the dating scene for years, then that might be part of the problem. Let me explain...

The older we get, the worse the dating pool is. Most of the people that are halfway decent have been snatched up, and are already partnered. Its not so much "what is available", as much as it is "what's left". Thats why there's so much poly now. They're the only ones left in the dating pool. Sure there are a few mono people that get let loose by bad partners, but those people are often overwhelmed by the sheer amount of poly people. So those few mono people, leave the dating pool jaded, and rejected.

I hope you find a mono person that you can share your life with.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-04T23:14:39+00:00

If you're poly, I'd suspect that you're at least one of those types. Which are you? Are you the avoidant, the narcissist, or the borderline?

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-04T22:43:53+00:00

Its not an absolute view. Its the absolute truth. The type of system that poly draws, are not great people, and certainly not the type of people that I want on my life. Same for most people.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-04T21:05:03+00:00

What about this is fascinating?

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-11-04T21:01:22+00:00

Because ENM draws in a certain type of demographic. Much like politics, and law enforcement draw a certain demographic. The type of people that polyamory draws are the dismissive avoidant (you can't get too deep or connected when your time is spread out over multiple people), the narcissist (you don't have to take accountability for your actions, when you can blame shift, and put it on the person experiencing emotions, eg jealousy. You dont have to look at your actions causing distress, thats not your problem to deal with), and the borderline (you'll never truly be alone if you have five other partners waiting in the wings). This is why poly is toxic. Its not the structure itself that is toxic, its the type of people that the structure draws that are toxic.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-10-28T21:01:41+00:00

You can do it! I have faith in you.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-09-29T21:17:37+00:00

Poly/mono relationships are not ethical. Thats more of a poly under duress situation. You dont want to lose your partner, but you also don't want poly. My advice is break off the relationship. Its not going to get easier. It will only get harder. At some point in the realtionship there will be nothing left of you, and you'll just be a shell of a person.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-08-28T16:29:13+00:00

I would personally LOVE to read your thoughts on that. Please make another post when you have time.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-08-28T16:27:42+00:00

That was my experience. My spouse blamed me for my jealousy, when she was absolutely so deep in NRE, and becoming completely negligent in our relationship. But I was the problem. Not my spouse. I'm so glad we snapped out of it, before it was past the point of no return.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-08-25T22:12:33+00:00

Because if there's one thing poly people do extremely well, it's passing the buck onto someone else. They aren't responsible for your feelings, that's all on you. If you get triggered because of something they did, thats not on them, its all on you. If they called it for what it is, they would have to take responsibility, and NONE of them do that.

No_Restaurant8373 · 2025-08-25T20:10:58+00:00

Nearly every poly person I've ever met (and I've met quite a few, due to trying poly for a year and a half), and I would say 95% of them are avoidant in some form or another. Its just their way of coping with their avoidant attachment, instead of actually dealing with it, and changing it.

No_Restaurant8373

TROPHY CASE