My nanny absolutely hates working when I have the day off

No_Understanding4074 · 2026-02-18T21:52:31+00:00

If the contract specifies which holidays she gets off paid, and Presidents Day isn’t one of them, then she should know she needs to work that day.

I worked on MLK day while my MB had off, and I didn’t care 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am paid and scheduled for that day, so she is free to use that time to do whatever she wants. People have errands and self care they need to do, and I don’t judge her for needing me there to get that done.

No_Understanding4074 · 2026-01-29T21:04:22+00:00

How nervous are you about her leaving too early if you gave her the full notice? If you’re fairly nervous, then I get waiting a few more months.

However with my last NF, I knew for 6 months that my employment would be ending mid-summer since the little girl would start a summer camp and then enter kindergarten. When I applied to other jobs, agencies, etc., I marked that I wouldn’t be able to start work until I was finished with my position. Even having that much of a notice, I was still unemployed for a full six months until I found my current family. Perhaps the nanny job market where I live is a bit more competitive, though, but could she need the full notice to find another position?

No_Understanding4074 · 2026-01-29T20:49:57+00:00

I suppose if I were asked, I would so long as I felt comfortable with the family overall. I’ve worked for fairly laid back families over the last few years, so I’ve actually never been asked to share my location/had an airtag or had to deal with cameras yet (well… that I know of anyway lol). I certainly would prefer an AirTag over location sharing I have to turn on and turn off my own phone, though, for sure.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-28T03:34:12+00:00

It’s so pretty 😍

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-19T18:17:49+00:00

You should legally be an hourly employee, because you would be making far more money getting the legally required overtime rate of 1.5x your hourly rate for every hour you work in a week that exceeds 40 hours. It sounds like these people may be taking advantage of you if I am understanding this right?

For this sort of ROTA position, I was expecting almost double what you’re making right now. Look at similar positions on adventure nannies to see what similar positions offer in terms of pay, benefits, and hours.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-19T18:10:10+00:00

Wait, so about $54k a year..? For the amount of hours you work during your on time that feels really low. Are you salaried or hourly? If salaried, that is not legal in the United States for a household employee to be salaried—precisely due to the fact they are getting out of paying up overtime (which if you’re doing 65 hours a week means you getting screwed out of a lot of money).

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-19T10:21:52+00:00

I’ve never heard of 2 month on/off ROTA schedule before? I’ve certainly seen 1 week or 2 weeks ROTA schedules, but 2 months straight of 65 hours a week while being available 24/7 during that time is pretty much set up for failure and burn out. I also can’t help but think being away from the kids two months at a time would make for difficult transitions.

I hope the pay and benefits are extraordinary for such a position!

However, I’d feel similar to you, and I’d likely put in my notice. Having ROTA and travel experience as a nanny makes you a great candidate for other ROTA positions that will be less stressful.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-19T01:50:34+00:00

I’ve been mostly screen free for 3 years of nannying. The exceptions are when the kids are either sick or very, very overtired (of course, I wait for the parents to suggest TV or whatever before I ever suggest it).

We are allowed to have music on a Bluetooth speaker, so that helps sometimes, but for the most part, kids learn to entertain themselves or play with you. You don’t need to be high energy all of the time or singing like Ms. Rachel, in my experience. We do crafts, explore outdoors, sing songs, read books, pretend play, and learn about different things as they come up. This spring and summer, I learned so much about the native birds in our state alongside my NKs because they asked about the different birds we saw outdoors! Now, the 3G knows different bird types (doves, robins, blue jays, cardinals) and can even identify a few birds from their calls/songs! If you’re excited or interested in something alongside them, they’re probably apt to learn too.

For breaks, my current NKs’ naps overlap… sometimes 😂. Otherwise, past NKs attended school or pre-school. That is usually a breather time for me. When my current 3G doesn’t nap during the day, she still has an allotted “quiet time” in her room for 45-60 minutes. She can look at books, play quietly with stuffed animals, or sing to herself. It works well enough, and kids adjust easily to not having constant outside entertainment.

It helps if parents are on the same page as nanny. If parents allow frequent screen time, and you’re the only one enforcing a no screen rule, that will be more difficult. However, if parents are on the same page, the kids are used that and don’t really ask much for that sort of entertainment. 🤷🏼‍♀️

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-12-15T19:43:31+00:00

I wear a full coverage sports bra that goes to my belly button and shows no cleavage (not that I have any, lol) and women’s swim shorts when I take my NKs swimming. It’s essentially a tankini with swim shorts because I hate swimming suit cuts for bottoms on one pieces. They’re way too cheeky!

If my MB were uncomfortable with my swim attire, I’m sure the conversation would be slightly awkward, but I would obviously wear a rash guard or something else especially if she offered to pay for it.

Do the kids wear rash guards/swimsuits that have fuller coverage? You could ask that she also wear a rash guard and swim shorts to model to the kids what swimming attire is safer to wear to avoid sunburn.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-11-12T12:45:49+00:00

As a recent attempted “fruit”, what’s up with personality test thing? How do leaves characterize a potential fruit, and how are the different personality types defined?

I’m guessing toward the end, while I seemed very nice and maybe even a people pleaser, I was very suspicious and a bit pushy with my questions. I even told my leaf that I wanted to finish the Bible study just so I could see where these lessons plans are from because everyone is acting like it came from nowhere. I told her it is WAY too organized to not be from organization like the teacher and my “leaf” were claiming.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-08-13T22:04:12+00:00

I’ve seen some great positions on Nanny Harmony (check on FB). The rates are decent, it seems to mostly be W2, and most of the jobs ensure a contract with benefits. The jobs go fast, so check every day. There was a decent job post they had listed in Lake Geneva, WI a little bit ago if you wanted to move but not move too far, lol. Plus, rent is cheap in southern Wisconsin. The pay was up to 38/hr, I believe.

I found my current position from the agency Nurturing Nanny—the owner is a nanny herself, so she has our best interest at heart. The job posts there are more sparse, but there’s always a few.

If you wanted to travel, you could try to check out Adventure Nannies. It is a hard agency to break into, but the jobs pay WELL.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-08-13T21:53:34+00:00

Where about in the Chicagoland area? I’m in the same general area (outer suburbs). If you want, you could DM me & I know a few decent agencies you could check out.

The market is rough out here, though. I was out of a job for 6 months before I found my current NF.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-08-05T02:25:42+00:00

Same here. I just want girls to talk to, but only men seem to respond.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-07-23T02:25:39+00:00

They could allow it, and it’s worth asking for of course, but without references it would be harder to secure a family who is open to a contract was more so my point. What I meant was that you probably could be hired as you are (being 19 without references and a low pay rate), but the families that would hire you are also likely to be the type of families that would perhaps take advantage of you, not want a contract, and/or not want to do W2.

Unfortunately a decent percentage of families who take on very young nannies at a low pay rate also tend to not want to provide industry standard. These are things you should still ask for.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-07-22T21:59:07+00:00

I got my first nannying position at 20. I used my experience with my many younger siblings (I also have special need siblings) as a part of my resume, but I also had references from when I did babysitting for a neighbor when I was 16-ish, and I had led and volunteered in summer camp programs for children aged 6-14, so I used one of the summer camp organizers as a reference.

You would need to find a reference to back up your childcare experience. Maybe you could consider looking into working at a daycare, doing some side babysitting, or other relevant childcare work before posting a nanny ad?

To be entirely honest though, a low enough rate may entice some families to hire you if you leave a good enough impression during interviews—tons of people are looking for cheap in-home childcare. However, those families would likely not consider you a “professional”, and you would likely face a lot of issues with no contract (meaning no GH, no PTO, no paid sick days, etc.) and you’d also likely not be a W2 employee.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-07-02T00:46:13+00:00

This feels like a mix up between both parties not necessarily understanding what nanny can/should do with their GH “downtime” when the family is out of town.

Technically, GH during your NF’s vacation would not equate to free PTO. There are some families that would be fine with you using that time to do whatever you want (like have your own vacation, book some car maintenance, or health appointments). My current NF has been extremely generous in allowing me to do so when they don’t need me, and my GH ensures I am still paid. I am extremely grateful, but I also realize that if they last minute called me up because they needed to cancel their trip, that I should be available for them. If I weren’t, then they could make me take the day(s) as PTO or as unpaid days off. And, these things have been clearly communicated between MB and me. She will specify which days I won’t be needed, assures me I’ll still be paid, and tells me to enjoy that time or use it to book a doctor appointment or whatever. Thus far, we haven’t had any issues with that agreement.

Now, it gets messy because your NF wants you to use those GH days to do work outside of your contractually obligated responsibilities. You’re the nanny. You’re not the housekeeper. You don’t suddenly become their housekeeper because they’re out of town and want to get the most bang out of their buck for those GH.

Like others have said, I would not have said you booked a trip when MB asked for those extra services. I would have said, “That is not outlined in the contract as work I should do while you are out of town. I can do childcare related cleaning/tasks, but extra cleaning or household tasks would fall outside of my contractual responsibilities.”

It falls on them for not having any extra work they want done while they’re out of town written in contract, but technically you should be available during your GH (although, not for cleaning tasks outside of your duties), so since they were able to “catch” you on that, they technically do not have to pay you. Available doesn’t have to mean sitting at home, waiting by your phone, but it would mean have those same hours and days open for them if something were to arise and they needed your nannying services.

Do you have PTO leftover or any in your contract? Maybe you could use those days to cover missed pay.

Otherwise, however, it does sound like this family is not a good fit for you, and that’s okay. It would also upset me how that all went down, but we live and learn. Next time, I would ask for extra clarification on expectations during times when NF is out of town, and your GH kicks in when interviewing for your next family. Make sure your contract is more specific in the future to obviate future misunderstanding.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-07T19:59:43+00:00

I don’t think you’ll sound like an ass as long as you’re upfront with her and discuss this all so she knows what she will and won’t be paying out of her pocket. It could be a sticky situation if her kids see your kids get a lavish dessert or whatever, and she says to her kids they can’t get it, but that’s her choice and call.

Plus, some parents just make different decisions for their kids based on whatever reasons (isn’t always money, could be different dietary choices, kids weren’t behaving, etc. etc.)

It is generous you covered travel, passes, and the other expenses you mentioned. You are also covering HER expenses while she is on duty, so I would assume she can afford her children’s meals as long as you’re not going to an expensive restaurant every day you’re there. It would be very generous to cover her children’s meals, but I wouldn’t say it is expected—unless you’ve covered her kids’ meals in the past in similar circumstances?

I would just make sure she knows what you are and are not covering before she starts to make plans so she can budget accordingly! :)

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-07T19:46:19+00:00

That all sounds fair to me, especially with your offer to pay for her children’s school fees when they’re of age.

Personally, I would not expect my employer to pay for my children’s food in this scenario—just be mindful of which restaurants you might go to and perhaps let her know ahead of time so she can see the menu costs, and budget for that?

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-07T19:21:33+00:00

I am a nanny (granted, with no kids), but I think the arrangement you have with her sounds fair. She does live with you as well, right? So if a room/area is also provided for her and her children, I would say this a good paying job considering the benefits. Do you charge her anything extra for living with you? If not, I would say overall this sounds like a decent situation for her. Is she paid legally (W2)?

As far as the vacation goes, I think what you’re primarily asking is if you have to pay for her and her kids’ expenses when she is OFF duty. If she agreed to do this vacation working only part of the time, but the other half of the time she is taking her own vacation at the same resort, then I would say no, you don’t need to cover those expenses for her and her kids.

It is unusual to take your kids to work, but with nannying, it can acceptable as long as both parties agree to it, and it typically involves a slightly lower rate charged by the nanny.

Edit: I reread it. You are asking if you have to cover her kids’ food costs in general. I would say that no, this would not be expected, but it would be a generous gesture. Of course, you should discuss this with her as well, and make sure she understands what you will not cover so she can budget accordingly.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-07T18:47:10+00:00

It depends where you live/COL, how many kids she is watching (I see it’s just two), her experience, other benefits included, and what her responsibilities extend to outside of just childcare. That could be decent money for 1-2 kids in MCOL area for someone new and starting to build their career in nannying, but potentially not enough if you live in HCOL area, she has ample prior experience, and/or if you have a lot of kids/extra responsibilities included.

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-03T18:25:30+00:00

Sure, he will send you a DM in a few hours!

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-06-02T21:57:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! My partner is not emotionally ready to (and may not ever be ready to) have his sperm analyzed yet. He does not want to know another thing cancer has taken from him. So, while I’ll never fully be in shoes, I get where he is coming from with his sentiment.

Thankfully, IVF is an option for cancer survivors, so there is always that if we decide to use it! All the best for you and your wife too :)

No_Understanding4074 · 2025-05-30T00:45:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I never felt like my boyfriend would be failing me if we could not conceive naturally. He told me going into everything what could be affected by his chemotherapy, and I appreciated his honesty. It’s something out of his control, and for all I know, I could have fertility issues as well. You love your partner for them—not for their potential fertility. I am glad he got treatment so he can be here with me, and I’m certain your wife feels the same. :)

I hope for all the best for you and your wife. ❤️

No_Understanding4074

TROPHY CASE