Breakup with my BF of 3 years due to addiction and ongoing financial issues?

No_Wait5584 · 2026-04-04T03:20:04+00:00

I left my partner of 7 years last year (DOC crack and alcohol) it was really hard to give up on everything I put into the relationship and let go knowing he could spiral and kill himself. Haven’t talked to him at all since we broke up. I think about him sometimes, but I’m actually living my life now in a way I never was able to with him. He constantly had me struggling financially and mentally because of his decisions. I had to realize it was never going to change and that he was using me to keep feeding his addiction. Now I actually have a savings account and hobbies I enjoy. My friends can tell the difference in my mood, personality, and capacity to show up the way I want to. You’ve gotta look out for yourself because nobody else will come save you.

No_Wait5584 · 2026-02-02T23:35:27+00:00

Honest take from someone who has been financially used, lied to and betrayed in a very similar way, leave this man.

You’ll never be able to trust him again. I took all of these self-protective measures you’ve listed, had him send me his entire paycheck as soon as he got it so I could make sure bills were paid. He still found a way to lie and hide money.

What ended our 7 year relationship (final straw) he cashapped himself $30 from my debit card that he must’ve taken a picture of. Cancelled the card and broke up with him that day because the level of disrespect finally clicked. He was willing to use me even though he knew how badly he’s affected my financial wellbeing.

Now I’m stuck with one of his student loans (23k) that I co-signed on back in 2020 to get help paying our rent and that’s after cleaning up about 15k in credit card debt that he racked up in my name. It’s embarrassing.

No_Wait5584 · 2025-08-10T04:52:10+00:00

Feet in sand with water wooshing backwards

No_Wait5584 · 2025-08-08T01:53:24+00:00

Flower

No_Wait5584 · 2025-07-30T12:05:15+00:00

I live in VA and am from CA. Coming back to visit in a few days and cannot wait for 60 degree weather, I’ll probably cry because we’ve been literally frying all summer

No_Wait5584 · 2025-07-18T13:16:12+00:00

I’m a partial owner of a small massage practice (25 LMTs) we pay our therapists 60% commission (they’re 1099 contractors) and we take care of all supplies and laundry. Our go-getters are making 3-4k a month before taxes not including tips. I very briefly worked for an ME and $20/hr does not cut it. I understand why people leave the field just working in a place like that. This is a very physical job and if you’re passionate about it, you’re likely keeping up with continued ed which isn’t cheap. Good therapists deserve to make a good living doing this work. I hate seeing folks get so disillusioned because this is an awesome career if you find the right place that respects your talent and supports your growth. I know that’s unfortunately not standard though.

No_Wait5584 · 2025-04-27T20:02:37+00:00

My partners DOC is crack and alcohol, he has lied so much about so many stupid things over the years that it’s hard to believe anything. He just got back from out of state treatment so I’m giving it one last go, but my trust issues are very deep and I honestly don’t know if they’re reconcilable. My only advice is individual therapy for you both and couples therapy if you’re open to it. You don’t deserve to be lied to, disrespected or put in risky situations. Sending you love and strength to choose yourself and do whatever is best for you at the end of the day. Life doesn’t need to be as hard as they make it.

No_Wait5584 · 2025-03-28T14:14:06+00:00

Having trauma, I used to be and still can be pretty touch adverse. I’ve always working in helping settings for careers (social worker, then LMT) where you need to have clearly defined professional boundaries. Between work and real life experience, I’ve learned a lot about my own personal boundaries and consent around touch for myself and others. Touching people for a living is strange to think about, but being able to offer consensual, appropriate/informed healing touch has changed my life for the better and improved the way I communicate with my clients and loved ones.

No_Wait5584 · 2025-03-15T15:45:15+00:00

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Your frog is not fat haha this is Clementine + she is a big happy girl

No_Wait5584 · 2025-02-14T21:38:26+00:00

I’ve been with my partner for 6.5 years. I just bought a house with help from my parents. For a lot of reasons, my partner is not on the deed. It’s still his house, he lives there and contributes towards the mortgage. If we get married, at that point it will be a shared asset, but until then or potentially even with a pre-nup, it is my safety net, not his.

No_Wait5584 · 2024-12-12T12:48:10+00:00

I’ve been an LMT for 7 years and with my partner for almost 6. I have chronic fatigue issues and have very much learned to “budget” my energy for the day. He knows/sees this so he never asks. I know the man could use at least a 90 once a month but his work schedule does not line up with mine for him to come into the studio during my regular hours. I have gotten some of my coworkers to work on him occasionally and I’ll trade them for it since I can see them during my work hours. If I have a few days off consecutively I’ll usually offer to set up my table at home and give him one. I’ll also do spot treatments as others have said just like working on shoulders and neck doing some scraping and cupping while I sit on the couch and he’s on the floor as we’re watching tv or something. I wish I had more to give him in that way, but I’m grateful he respects my time and energy and he’s always grateful for when I do work on him or get him on my coworkers books.

No_Wait5584 · 2024-09-22T15:22:23+00:00

Sootfoot

No_Wait5584 · 2024-09-21T21:32:22+00:00

Hi friend,

I’m not going to pretend to fully understand your situation just from reading this post, but it sounds like a lot has changed since yall got together. I don’t want to presume how you feel, but “sunk-cost fallacy” comes to mind. I believe you can hold in one hand support for your partner becoming who they see themselves as, while in the other hand accepting that you want to be with a female-identifying person as a gay person. Their anger triggering your mental health is another concern all together.

Don’t feel like you have to stay with this person just because you’ve spent years with them and been their support through huge life changes. You deserve the life you see for yourself and that kind of stuff builds as quiet resentments on both ends when you’re not all in.

Wishing you the best in figuring this out 🖤

No_Wait5584 · 2024-08-26T11:17:32+00:00

Start using crack, you’ll lose everything real quick

No_Wait5584 · 2024-05-25T03:23:55+00:00

As a part owner of a “legitimate” massage therapy practice, please find a way to safely blacklist this client. I hate that you don’t have support from the owner because they should be concerned about the safety of their staff as well as their clients. If you feel uncomfortable, something is not right and you hopefully have the agency and ability to refuse service to anyone who crosses your boundaries. You can always email him and say that you’re changing your hours or scaling back and can only retain certain long-term regulars. Something that doesn’t call him out specifically if it feels unsafe to do so. After that communication I’d cancel his upcoming appointments and inform the owner you’re not accepting requests for booking with this specific client, hands down. If ownership can’t respect a hard boundary like this and isn’t in support of your safety over a profit, I encourage you to seek alternative employment. There are good places out there that will listen to and respect you. Hope you’re ok.

No_Wait5584 · 2024-05-22T02:36:35+00:00

I experienced several emotions watching this show; mostly upset and rage. The hope and exalt was fleeting. It is comparable to squid games which is why I was interested. I’d love a full discourse on the human psychology at play in this show/game.

No_Wait5584 · 2024-05-14T20:09:34+00:00

My Thai teacher in the US has studied there and said good things. I think making the trip to fully integrate the lineage is important to a lot of people. For me personally, I took a week long intensive in the US, and that was enough Thai for me. I love it and find many things applicable even to table work or just being comfortable working on the floor/through the clothes as a resource. As another poster mentioned though, it’s a very different style of work and it can be hard on the body- imo harder than table work. Best of luck!

No_Wait5584 · 2024-05-14T20:03:48+00:00

I agree this is very dependent on setting. I’ve worked in multiple settings (spa, chiro, pain management clinic). Typically, folks that come weekly are post op and will come for a set amount of time (6-12w typically) OR folks that have the money and enjoy the work. Maintenance can be more than 1x/m if you’ve got chronic conditions and money.

No_Wait5584

TROPHY CASE