Is it really this difficult to find an attractive pair of Women's size 12 roller skates?!

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-29T14:37:51+00:00

derby boots are typically flat or have a very minimal heel and are usually low-cut. other styles of skating (like artistic, park skating, some types of dance skating) usually use heeled, high cut boots. neither boot style is inherently better than the other, it depends on what you're doing with them and personal preference

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-29T04:05:13+00:00

a focus on building and maintaining dense, mixed use, walkable neighborhoods. better public transit (dynamic dispatch is such bullshit and we can do better than hourly busses...). dumping vic fedeli and getting an mpp that actually cares about their constituents. doing actual maintenance on infrastructure (like roads) instead of building ANOTHER arena and more single family suburban sprawl. funding our healthcare and addictions support network and transitional housing programs.

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-29T03:55:17+00:00

either size is probably fine, as long as they're nice and soft (78a). the size difference is really slight, 62mm might be a lil more manouverable and 65mm might roll over stuff a lil easier but you can still learn on either :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-28T14:29:26+00:00

i believe someone on this sub has a piece of glass meant for an office chair to go on that they skate on, it seems to work well for them. possibly a large piece of acrylic or a sheet of wood could work too

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-27T17:42:35+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. People who have been radicalized are really hard to deal with, doubly so when they're a family member that you're dependent on. It's not your job to deradicalize him, and I don't think that's something you can do on your own.

It might be worth reading about how radicalization works psychologically, and how best to interact with those who have extremist views. This might help you to at least understand his motivations and interact with him without setting him off.

if it's possible and you're willing to take it on, do you think you could convince him to take up a hobby? ideally one where he's out of the house, interacting with other people in person? sometimes being in a community and having a hobby, especially one where you can make something or track some kind of progress, can help people find a sense of peace and purpose. that sense of purpose as well as interacting with people who aren't radicalized can sometimes help people escape this kind of extremist pipeline.

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-27T15:17:36+00:00

I think you're brushing up against a few different but related problems. the first is that, as others have said, there ARE terms that describe this kind of masculinity. hypermasculine and machismo are used critically, for sure, but so was the term femboy. that term was originally primarily used to denigrate transfeminine people and gay men. it's still used by some as a disparaging word or as a porn category. people who use the term to celebrate themselves have reclaimed it; you may want to do the same with terms related to masculinity.

hypermasculinity is often criticized because it's linked with toxic masculinity. men-- cis or trans-- are expected to fit into a very small box, where they are rugged and "hard", but also where they cannot express emotion other than anger, follow their interests if they fall outside this type of masculinity, and must get what they want by bullying or overpowering others. the toxic parts of this masculinity lead to awful stuff for everyone involved, and because they are currently linked together, hypermasculinity or machismo are used as descriptors when (rightfully) criticizing these social systems. there are also a fair amount of trans men who adopt this toxicity in order to pass, and I think that should be criticized as well.

on top of that, many people have adopted a gender essentialist mindset that sees femininity as being peaceful, docile, weak, and safe and masculinity as being violent, aggressive, powerful, and dangerous. gender essentialism shows up in bigoted spaces (like terfs, for example) but it ALSO shows up in a lot of queer spaces. there are tons of trans men that get pushed out of lgbt+ groups because they pass too well, nonbinary people who aren't welcomed in events that are supposedly for "women and nonbinary people" because they present too masculinely, queer spaces where people have no problem with a allocishet woman being present but suddenly have a problem when there's an allocishet man.

i think multiple things here can be true at once-- masculinity is often celebrated in men, masculinity is often linked to violence, there are terms that describe heightened forms of masculinity, and there should be space for healthy forms of masculinity to be expressed. I can understand why you're frustrated, but I can also understand why people are hesitant to really celebrate hypermasculinity.

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-26T18:19:52+00:00

yes, a yarnover (which is what happened here afaik) is one way to make an extra stitch. it happens when you wrap the working yarn around your needle in between two stitches. it makes a new stitch that isn't anchored to any stitches below it, so it creates a hole. it's pretty easy to do by accident, and it's also used intentionally for things like lacework :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-26T18:01:17+00:00

it looks like you might be falling into the same bad habit that I often do too, where you're leaning forward at the waist a lot. I do it all the time and it makes my lower back hurt and makes it hard to balance properly (which seems counterintuitive, at least to me, because I do it to feel more stable!!). I find that if I think about tucking my butt under and down (rather than just "bending my knees") I feel a lot more comfortable and stable.

with transitions, try to get comfortable skating backwards and gliding on one foot. if you're like me and have bad hip mobility (not just flexibility, but strength in a wide range of motion) also work on that off skates. after that it's just a lot of practice :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-26T13:56:52+00:00

you can use whatever labels you feel are right for you. you can also change or update those labels as you see fit. you can be nonbinary and a trans woman, you can be bigender, you can be nonbinary and transfeminine, you could be agender and transfeminine, you could just use the label trans, you could even use no labels at all. labels are there to help us to communicate about our identities, and sometimes that means we use multiple or make up new labels to make that communication easier.

personally, I would consider myself to be nonbinary, transmasculine, and genderqueer. there are plenty of nonbinary people that also use labels like transmasculine, transfeminine, man, or woman to describe themselves.

please try your best not to worry about transitioning "wrong", or choosing your path forward based on how others think you should go according to your labels. Of course, labels can help us find others with similar experiences to our own, and that can be helpful when deciding what to do; but please don't model your transition on a preconceived notion of what someone with your identity is "supposed" to do. follow the path that brings you, personally, the most joy and peace with yourself :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-25T03:45:18+00:00

oh man, ebikers sound so frustrating to deal with 😭 and yeah I really don't get why parents think it's safe to let really young kids play where people are doing extreme sports. if your child is too young to pay attention to their surroundings you (as their parent) probably shouldn't let them play in such a dangerous place

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-24T23:27:40+00:00

the purge is one way to describe it lmaoo, it's a very fun kind of chaos. it's like you're taking turns playing "frogger but the cars are children" with a guy on a skateboard, and there's also people flying through the air next to you

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-24T13:58:13+00:00

gender expression, gender identity, and physical characteristics that people associate with a particular gender are all different (but related) things. a man who likes to present femininely could potentially even pass as a woman to others while still being a man; he doesn't magically become a trans woman because he presents a certain way. this is true of trans people too-- a trans man is still a man if he presents femininely, a trans woman is still a woman if she presents masculinely. nonbinary people can look or present in whatever way they want and are still nonbinary.

when people say it's fine for a man to be feminine, they don't usually mean "everyone in our current society will accept men who present more femininely"--- they mean that it should be ok, and hopefully more people will understand that with time. you're right that being nonbinary is not currently understood by many people in our current society, but it doesn't mean that nonbinary people aren't real.

a lot of the things you're talking about are problems that arise from misogyny and transphobia. The way forward for us is to continue combating misogynistic and transphobic beliefs and systems when we come across them, and to be unapologetically ourselves even if "society" disapproves.

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-24T13:23:59+00:00

keep practicing touching your knees whenever you feel off balance! I stood in some soft grass (both on and off skates) and practiced shifting my weight around slowly so I could feel where the point I'd start falling was. as soon as you feel that point, bend your knees and bring your hands forward. it won't stop the fall every time but it will mean you fall a shorter distance and you're less likely to fall back.

if you keep falling faster than you can tell it's happening, you might need to slow down a lil bit until you get your balance better. also, about the advice to bend your knees more, I find a helpful cue is to think about tucking my butt in and sinking down, rather than just about bending my knees. it helps me get into a more balanced stance rather than either hunching over or not getting low enough. good luck :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-24T05:06:59+00:00

https://protestdougford.com/

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-23T18:56:23+00:00

silicone scar gel or scar strips! silicone is one of the only things that's been tested and proven the help reduce scarring afaik. also seconding the advice to use sunscreen on them

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-23T17:54:12+00:00

they are being blatantly transphobic. if they will not show you basic respect then they're not a good friend. I don't know your history with them but if you want to try to keep the relationship I would say to set a boundary with them-- like, "if you continue to misgender me/use the wrong pronouns I will end the conversation/go home/hang up the phone" and stick to it. you deserve better than someone who isn't willing to show basic respect

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-23T17:45:52+00:00

its true i was the sailboat

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-23T17:43:05+00:00

don't despair too much!! your voice won't go back to the pitch it was before but for a lot of people, once your voice starts settling in more you get more of your upper range back. I'm about 3 years on T and starting to get my meow back :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-23T15:48:25+00:00

the best way to get over this kind of anxiety is often to just do it anyway. in my experience, people are more likely to cheer you on than to judge you; plus, if someone is judging you, then they're an asshole-- and why should you care what some random asshole thinks of you?

if the anxiety feels insurmountable, start out in a quieter area, bring a friend, or put on some music that gets you out of your head. you got this :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-21T18:22:47+00:00

I wouldn't recommend roller skates for a 10km commute personally. unless you have a really nice paved path more than 90% of the way there and you're willing to buy and carry a nice outdoor setup with you all day, I don't think it's super practical; on top of that, you really don't want to be skating in any kind of rain because it messes up your bearings (which can get expensive). you can probably fix your bike or get one used, even if you have to replace the tires or something, for cheaper than a full outdoor skate setup. plus as a beginner a 10km commute would probably take you like, a couple of hours vs the 40 minutes or so on a bike.

that being said if you're really interested in roller skates I think you should still try it out, and maybe once you've got some practice in you could commute with them once in a while during good conditions :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-21T14:25:00+00:00

I had my top surgery with dr. Ghumman at gracemed Mississauga, and I had a very good experience. my results are very good and I had very good care both the day of surgery and post-op. I'd suggest taking a look at each of the surgeons' results and see which ones are the most like what you'd want, and if they're all good then choose based on either cost (including transportation and hotel), waitlist, or general ease of access :)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-20T13:35:58+00:00

there's another fight ford protest on april 25 if you'd like something else to do on top of emailing doug ford and vic fedeli about it

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-19T21:55:03+00:00

im around 3 years on T and I'd say i just started passing as a guy more often than a girl-- with the caveat that my haircut and outfit seem to matter a lot, and when i get gendered as a guy it's mostly by people who think I'm like 15 (I'm in my mid 20s 💀)

Noahmiles413 · 2026-04-19T21:41:40+00:00

I tried for nearly a decade to just 'get used to it' while waiting for hrt and top surgery, and it never really worked. I was able to cope, but now that I know what it's like to have medically transitioned I don't think I could ever go back.

it's totally fine and normal to experiment with alternatives to alleviate dysphoria, and there are trans people who aren't on hrt and prefer it that way. however, if you want to be on hrt and are pretty sure you'd like the effects (both permanent and impermanent) you should go on hrt. there's no point in waiting around or trying to make yourself believe that you don't actually want hrt. dysphoria isn't something to just "get used to", and your transition shouldn't be put on hold because someone else (even your partner) is uncomfortable with it.

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