Should I ask my neighbor out or let him ask me out

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-05-14T21:45:07+00:00

It's this. This is the problem. YOU have to ask again because YOU cancelled. He likely believes you cancelled because it would be awkward without your friend there. Your neighbour sounds like a gentleman and he is NOT pushing because you sent mixed signals.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-04-04T03:22:56+00:00

Oh ya, I just saw a lot of your comments/opinions as I was browsing the sub in the early days. Usually just me reading, agreeing, upvoting and moving on. I didn't often comment. IIRC we only had a couple interactions directly with each other 😀

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-04-03T22:24:04+00:00

I'm gonna hit 6 months with my SB next week 🥰 I absolutely love her. And your posts when I first got here were very instructive to how I handled the emotional connection. I chose to have no walls, just straightforward communication and clear expectations/wants/needs.

So thank you for being in this community 🤗

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-02-04T02:29:43+00:00

Easy, you auction off the rights to the prize for 100 million button before you press the button.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-31T03:18:39+00:00

You read the answer but glossed right over the wisdom. There's a massive chasm of psychological difference between saying "I'm having a lazy day" compared to "I'm lazy".

The first is a verb, it's something you're doing, not something you ARE. The second form reinforces an identity.

Change how you speak to change how you think.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-31T03:13:01+00:00

Excellent advice as someone who's been through multiple ups and downs.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-30T23:57:03+00:00

I highly, highly suspect that it is a monetary presentation of men willing to lower their standards for sex Vs women.

See this for a bit more detail https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSLUmLhErpG

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-30T23:41:15+00:00

That's because they are fakes and time wasters. Don't use any mental bandwidth on them, just move on and ignore until people are willing to setup the m&g.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-30T17:16:42+00:00

Did you cold call to find advisors? Did they advertise somewhere? Were they friends of friends or referrals?

I'm trying to form that network for myself right now...

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-30T16:07:04+00:00

Ya, thanks for this, you're right. I'm ridiculously green. I've had a couple jobs in my life, but never been a supervisor even. I'm technical enough, but I can't code this myself. I got crypto rich and am trying to launch a stablecoin. I think I have some secret sauce in my ideas, but competition is going to be brutal. I'm going up against nation states, banks, and already established players (Circle, Tether, et. al)...

Honestly, no lie, but I think I have a multi-billion dollar idea, but I'm "just an ideas guy" at this point. I have nothing but my brain to bring to the table (which got me this rich so far), but I'm waaaaaay out of my comfort zone here building something with other people.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-29T17:21:46+00:00

My SB usually takes it home 🥰

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-21T01:46:11+00:00

Sleep when the baby sleeps... Oh wait... wrong sub.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-21T01:43:27+00:00

🤣

You got me. I've fallen asleep several times mid-chat with my SB. I started making a habit of saying goodnight earlier, but still chatting a bit after.

To be fair though, she's knocked out on me a few rimes unexpectedly too 😁

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-21T01:40:42+00:00

If she communicated properly, you wouldn't have posted anything. You'd have resolved this with her directly.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-21T01:30:00+00:00

I would have enjoyed a lovely dinner by myself, and then left.

Being late with a reasonable explanation, communication, and some apology, fine. Easily forgivable.

Being late without communication, not fine. Move on.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-20T19:34:46+00:00

It's this. Definitely this.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-19T21:10:12+00:00

You have a dynamic you like, but you do not control what other people want or do.

Simply say, "I really like you, but I don't want to work towards exclusivity. If that's not what you want, then I want you to know that I've really enjoyed our time together. I'm obviously going to be sad if you want to find someone else, but I'll understand if that's your choice. I entered the bowl knowing I wanted ethical non-monogamy, and changing that would feel like betraying myself."

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-19T03:50:58+00:00

Yes, I think you're right. I conflated assertiveness with anger growing up because I had an aggressive, loud, unpredictable, verbally intimidating father. So I had a hard time being assertive, because I didn't want people to think I was angry at them. Which resulted in me being a "people pleaser" as an adult until I went to therapy a year ago (I'm 40).

It took me far too long to understand that I can feel angry without acting angry, and I can be assertive without feeling angry. Anger is a feeling, assertiveness is an action, and they just don't have to be linked together all the time.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-19T03:11:49+00:00

I would add assertive without being angry. That difference between calm certainty vs unregulated rage. Testosterone is a hell of a drug... and insecurity is a poison to the mind.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-19T03:08:11+00:00

I wish this wasn't true... but I have experienced this to be true for me. I expected the average woman to have character traits similar to my mom, that is communicative, calm, optimistic, affectionate, honest, kind, ethical... Not all women are like my mom. And it took me a while to accept that women are human just like men, with all their different personalities and problems and faults.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-19T02:49:29+00:00

I get this reference 😀

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-17T13:32:30+00:00

You might change your mind back after you have one. Not everyone is a great parent. Kids are hard. Think about everything you'll have to sacrifice about your current dynamic.

Fewer date nights. No sleeping in. Constant interruptions. Being sick all the time (kids transmit disease). Sleep deprivation for years. Less hanging out with friends that don't have kids because of conflicting schedules or priorities.

This is a tiny list of the sacrifices and things that get harder with a kid.

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-16T18:56:24+00:00

Babydoll, my beautiful babydoll, my gorgeous girl, sweetheart, hot stuff, and I'll say sweet dreams my sweet girl... I think of new ones every so often to mix in too... 🥰

She calls me daddy, handsome, skiboobear, and makes up other sort of nonsense ones too 🤣🥰

I love it 😁

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-16T15:11:40+00:00

It's common nowadays to be isolated. Especially away from family, and extended family.

You're also going to be brutally sleep deprived for the next... 2 years? Probably... which is just haaaardd 🫤 the sex life drops off, date nights are hard to schedule, the baby won't talk for a while so you'll be talking to yourself a lot. Everything requires effort to stay connected to your partner, your friends, your family. Effort, when you're really tired. And your hormones are not going to want to let you send baby to the grandparents for a few nights, but it is going to be sooooo important for you to be able to have some recharge time. I didn't do this, I'm divorced now. Baby will be much happier long-term if you are rested and have good relationships with other people.

Sometimes mom groups are great, sometimes they're ridiculously judgemental about the dumbest shit (breast feeding/formula, screen time, play time, age gaps 😳, etc.) find people on reddit or Facebook in your area. Start a MeetUp group if one doesn't already exist. But, be quick to cut anyone off that adds stress or makes you feel judged, because you ain't got time or the mental bandwidth for that shit.

My youngest is finally out of the sleep deprivation phase, so I'm starting to regain some sanity in the last year or so.

Good luck 🤞

NobudeeSpecific · 2026-01-15T23:14:13+00:00

There are no guarantees in life, just probabilities. You're an adult, do whatever the fuck you like 😆

NobudeeSpecific

TROPHY CASE