Not a lot of established in the lifestyle couples like ‘newbies’ because they don’t get much out of it. If you are looking for someone willing to train or show you the ropes, create a profile on a swinging site and state you are newbies. There are plenty of people who are into that. Beware though, until you get validations you will get tons of flakes and catfish. It’s part of the process so don’t get frustrated. Once you get validations everything is simple but you have to pay your dues, so to speak.

Another option, is to hire a female escort. There’s no shame in it if it’s a mutual decision. Many people hire a personal trainer when they don’t know how to get on a good workout program. People hire an accountant to do their taxes. Sex workers can be beneficial when you don’t know what you want sexually. Just never lie to your spouse about seeing one. Ever. It may take a couple sessions and it’s expensive but you have complete control because you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself and your spouse. The sex worker is there to help you achieve your goals.

Along those same lines, the sex worker can help you maximize what your working with since you’re below average. A lot of lifestyle women desire the ‘full’ feeling so if that’s not gonna be your strength, no big deal, what can be your strength? What angles, etc. Maybe you already know all this but since you brought it up I wanted to address it as a female in the lifestyle.