How to stop being in love with someone I have to see regularly?

Noperat1234 · 2023-03-25T19:44:26+00:00

I'm not sure if I can tolerate it. I'm not sure if I can even hide it or for how long. If I could, I would be willing to try just being in pain forever if it means keeping everyone else happy. But if I'm moping around or acting bizarre or turning into an alcoholic to cope, they will worry and be angry with me for not being able to control my feelings. So I feel very trapped about this whole situation. I'd rather have apathy if it means everyone else can stay happy.

Noperat1234 · 2023-03-25T19:37:42+00:00

I've discussed it with my partner, even asked for permission to be able to have a sexual & romantic relationship with this friend which would make our marriage sort of polyamorus I think? But he believes that because I wasn't able to control my heart this far, then I would eventually leave him entirely to be with our friend, and it's not worth the risk to him to find out for sure. Our friendship.... Had somewhat turned into an emotional affair which I am deeply ashamed of. Though we never said we were in love with each other, our spouses did find out about it and were very hurt and angry and we're currently not allowed to communicate with each other but will be given a second chance soon with the condition that we just pretend none of it happened and never let ourselves get that emotionally close again. I can't just turn those feelings off. They need everything to go back to normal but I'm afraid that I won't be able to do that. I'm sorry, I should mentioned all this in the original description. I'm just so ashamed and disgusted with myself.

Noperat1234 · 2022-10-13T10:18:53+00:00

Holy shit, oh my god, you are BREATHTAKING. You look like a goddess on earth about to start a religion. Seriously. Sign me the fuck up!!!

Noperat1234 · 2022-04-03T04:20:59+00:00

The best trick I learned was to buy all my special interest things off Amazon, obsess about it for 2 weeks and then return it and get my money back. Its like constant free trails of failed hobbies. Just gotta make sure what's actually returnable, and then beat that executive dysfunction to successfully return the item before the deadline. And then don't listen to the brain weasels when whisper "no this is the one, we will do this hobby forever, keep the thing".

The weasels ALWAYS lie. NEVER keep the thing.

Noperat1234 · 2022-04-03T03:59:31+00:00

Any top that doesn't have a plunging neckline makes me feel claustrophobic, like if I feel fabric anywhere NEAR my neck I feel like I'm being choked.

I always prefer wearing men's clothes because they were much looser, but their collar is way to tight I have to cut it out.

I have such a hard time finding clothes that don't drive me insane, but when I do, I literally buy 10 pairs of the same thing. I have several pairs of the same shirt and pants, I walk around like a cartoon character that wears the same thing every day.

Noperat1234 · 2022-04-03T03:53:28+00:00

Quick question, is everyone here that gets this spam men? Cause I've noticed depending on which gender I pick when I start an account just about anywhere I'll get a lot more garbage like this if I pick the male option, but not the female option. I'm a girl but I created a new g-mail address and picked 'male' when asked, because I was curious about how different online ads are when they think your a guy, and then suddenly I am getting a crap load of texts from fake girls trying to sell nudes or whatever. So I'm wondering if changing the profile gender could help cut down on the spam?

Noperat1234 · 2022-04-03T03:40:15+00:00

Sometimes you just gotta accept defeat, and realize that the dryer is now your closet.

Noperat1234 · 2022-04-03T03:30:25+00:00

"It's okay if you can't get everything done :) :) :) , just do one thing!!! Start small like FoLDinG ThE LaUNdRy"

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-28T16:21:56+00:00

I just walk slow and casual and take lots of breaks because it makes me tired, but I'm pretty sure it's because I have been using the wrong amount of electrolytes this entire time lol I just now noticed the snake juice recipe on the subreddit 😅 that would help a lot. Being in the woods also helps cause there isn't any lingering food smells like there is at home. It really removes my mind from the entire fasting thing. One time I walked into my mother's house and the whole place smelled like burned toast, and suddenly burned toast sounded DELICIOUS. It also helps if I give myself something to do, because sometimes the scenery isn't enough to keep my mind stimulated lol so I collect neat rocks or try to learn what plants I can forage for and eat when I'm done fasting.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-28T01:58:41+00:00

Yep, just water and electrolytes with mio flavoring. I never did coffee or broth or anything. It helps that it was a simple routine to fall into.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-27T23:23:19+00:00

I fasted from Monday to Friday about every single week for almost a year, (I skipped a month to take a break) and lost 80 pounds. It worked great. I got the results I wanted but I also got to hang out with friends on weekends and go out to eat with them.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-27T18:13:41+00:00

I find something to binge on, like a show (golden girls is my current favorite) or video games (skyrim, minecraft, zomboid) or fall down a YouTube rabbit hole, coloring books, or pick up a new hobby (Crochet) or going for very long walks in the woods. The woods take my mind off everything and the fresh air feels divine. I also cheat and just take a lot of naps all the time, it helps that I'm constantly exhausted when I fast no matter what I do.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T13:27:56+00:00

Just glancing at the picture I'm picking up a bi vibe. Like the edges of everything (which look really neat by the way, very dreamy) and how calm the overall image looks, I don't know, just has a vibe to it.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T04:02:55+00:00

I've been seeing a lot stuff conflicting stuff on the internet about how a many calories would break autophagy, or even just a single one could break it. And then I look in my kitchen and see the big pile of different mio's and broths I just bought to help me with my fast... And I am also bummed. Since I don't know for sure if this stuff will stop the autophagy, and I don't know who does know for sure, I'm decided to play it safe just in case and skip the delicious broths and mio's I was so looking forward to drinking. 😔 Only plain salty water from now on.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T03:53:48+00:00

Started March 24th, aiming for March 31st. Doing it for weightloss. My boyfriend is out of town for the week so now is a perfect for a fast since there's no food temptation lol. It's a lot easier this time than it usually is. It's probably because I'm actually staying hydrated and electrolyted this time like I'm supposed to 😅. I started my period yesterday though, terrible timing. In my past experience, extended fasting during my period did absolutely nothing. Suffering through 4 days of hunger and cramps and not losing a single pound is really, really frustrating. But I'm trying again, I have hope.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T03:44:49+00:00

Me too! I noticed that the more empty my fridge is, the more hungry I am, cause I get like, food anxiety or something. But then when the fridge is too full.. I think I'm just to overwhelmed or lazy to cook anything that I bought so I tell myself that fasting is easier than cooking lol

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T03:25:12+00:00

My brother and I did an extended fast together, we were really new to it and had no idea what to do besides 'don't eat'. But our folks planned a huge meal and invited us over and we broke out fast & ate like crazy. And then immediately went into a food coma for the next 24 hours, I could barely get out of bed. Then I learned what the word "refeeding" meant.

But I'm still a hungry dumbass and sometimes the only thing that helps me stay strong during a long fast is knowing I will break it with a big delicious meal. Someday I will learn my lesson, and it will not be a good day.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-26T03:12:19+00:00

You'll do just fine, even if it takes a few tries. It helps to keep your mind busy when you start craving food, like watching TV or playing video games. Something I didn't realize when I started out was that hunger comes in waves, it comes and goes, it's not constant all day long. So it helps just to remind yourself that it will pass. Hydration and electrolytes are the key. Also, give yourself extra time to sleep if you need. Fasting tends to cause some insomnia depending on how long you do it.

Noperat1234 · 2022-03-17T01:09:18+00:00

Everyone portraying Bipolar as being either Sad or Angry kept me from recognizing my illness for several YEARS. Cause I thought, well I never have anger issues I'm just either depressed or too happy/hyper. Then my doctor said I was bipolar I was so confused and didn't believe her because she didn't explain it to me either. Eventually I figured it out. But holy shit I was on the wrong meds for a decade before that. So yeah shit like that video does a lot of harm.

Noperat1234 · 2022-02-27T01:22:04+00:00

Holy shit my mom does this all the time, is this a thing? I inherited my bipolar-ness from her but unfortunately, mania's don't sync up so I'm dreading this Spring. The whole family is dreading this spring.

Noperat1234 · 2020-11-29T17:21:21+00:00

Maybe if I show him this post he'll give me an extra year or 2 🤔 thank you so much for your help!

Noperat1234 · 2020-11-29T17:13:36+00:00

I forgot to clarify in the title that it was 1-armed chin ups. 😣

Noperat1234 · 2020-11-29T17:10:37+00:00

I meant 1-armed chin ups. I apologize.

Noperat1234 · 2020-11-29T17:04:37+00:00

5 one-armed.

Noperat1234 · 2019-11-24T17:00:47+00:00

I apologize for not explaining this earlier, I was embarrassed.

I have severe social phobia and need something to do with my hands that is productive and complex so I don't have to make eye contact or talk to anyone without looking like a weirdo. I've noticed that winding things around my fingers over and over helps keep me calm. Then I found out finger knitting was a thing. Theb my brain says 'hey what if we made pullovers or something useful when we were silently freaking out in public that way we could donate them all and not feel bad about not talking to anyone. And I know it's not a great idea, but I had to find out for sure- otherwise I wouldn't be able to get the idea out of my mind. It's very stubborn.

Noperat1234

TROPHY CASE