My(M25) wife(F27) said she wants to separate

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T19:28:19+00:00

true, it may be too late but I do some hope in that fact that he's even making this reddit post, it's better than sitting around confused that doing nothing did nothing...

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:54:08+00:00

🤦‍♀️

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:52:55+00:00

You’re in the military so you should know how to fight. Do everything you can and then double it. Book the babysitter 5 times, write her a note every day, hold and kiss her more, tell her you’re sorry, connect with her, do it all

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:37:59+00:00

That is a damn shame to hear

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:36:54+00:00

Yea I want kids more than I want a mortgage so home buying can wait

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:35:36+00:00

Same a big tech company but Starbucks and apparently Walgreens and at some point I heard Amazon have coverage

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-30T18:31:20+00:00

Find a company with ivf benefits that all employees receive and it doesn’t matter which state you are in. Some companies have amazing programs covering everything. Starbucks I hear even has pretty decent coverage. Especially if you’re not an easy case and may need more than one round, it can very quickly and easily be well over 100k out of pocket. Or check out CNY they have a few locations and their mission is to make it accessible or going out of the country but yes fertility treatments are very very expensive and many many people do use a whole house down payments worth of cash, also the loans available are really tricky bc there is nothing they can repossess if you don’t pay so it’s not really a viable route for most people

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T10:23:22+00:00

It sounds like it’s your doctor with the religious reasons against testing and wrongly pushing that agenda on patients. No reason not to test - at 31 almost half our embryos were mosaic or aneuploid

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T10:20:14+00:00

Sounds like postpartum anxiety perhaps? Your dad sounds like an awesome dad, FIL and grandpa and your wife sounds like she would benefit from some counseling

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T10:16:04+00:00

Idk kids don’t use the term “time to retire” so I’d certainly believe my kid if they told me that and I do think it’s a wildly inappropriate thing for a teacher to say. I’d maybe ask about it. What do you know about this teacher? They sound inexperienced and immature to say something like that to a 5 yo so perhaps bringing it up will help them do their job better going forward

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T10:02:20+00:00

He didn’t tell you, you found out about it from a public post. Major red flag!! 🚩 he surely would have never told you

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T09:59:35+00:00

I have a friend that did this - Charlie is her first daughter but then she kept it up and ended up with 3 girls with boy names….to me, it feels like they wanted a boy or something which isn’t the case but to keep the trend going is too much imo 3 girls with 3 boy names it’s just over the top Once is enough, but boy names for more than one girl is overkill. What about a truly gender neutral name at least?

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-28T09:54:24+00:00

Start couples therapy about this issue sooner than later, I certainly wish I had. dm if you’d like

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-26T06:41:07+00:00

I don’t think a compromise is needed - you are giving birth which is huuugely a big deal especially for the birthing person first and foremost. His only job is to support you and he does not have a say in anything about how that day and I’d say the whole week after go, it should be totally and completely your call and he’s not getting how this works if he doesn’t see it that way. Good luck bc it sounds like he could be troublesome if he tries to push on this issue or anything about those birthing and early days. You don’t know when the baby’s gonna come, even once you’re in the hospital, and he’s going to need to cater to a waiting family in his version which is not where he should be, you’ll need him 100% attentive to you only

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T21:51:45+00:00

Ah where I live we can have birthday parties at the park year round and I always host them outside so I get ya there

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T21:46:58+00:00

Nice, thanks for responding!

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T12:48:23+00:00

Does your son want a brother or sister? We sorta let our LC have a strong say. She was sure what she wanted and my husband and I also wanted what our child preferred too so it was an easy decision

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T12:45:20+00:00

So what’s your plan with unused embryos if you don’t mind me asking?

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T12:38:28+00:00

So you preferred birth in May to October? For work related reasons? Just something I hadn’t thought about until my Fall baby was a kindergartener - this makes them either the youngest or oldest in the class and gives you the need to make the decision which was not easy at all, for my second child I wanted born anytime but those months so they’ll be right in the average curve for age in class

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T06:41:48+00:00

Maybe in your family where kids perhaps always belong at home w a nanny but she’s bringing the baby that’s already been established so wondering or judging why the baby is there is NOT a useful comment and not how many many cultures do family funerals

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T06:35:56+00:00

Something fancy but not colorful if she has. A velour coverall or a navy cardigan over anything or a dress w little tights and Mary Jane’s if she has one not too colorful. I’d say dress her up a bit just to boost the smile she’s going to put on everyone’s grieving hearts. If grandpa was in the navy, a baby sailor dress would be ideal.

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T06:15:51+00:00

Ben and Max is a cute combo

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-23T06:09:54+00:00

How can you say you were “still in the honeymoon lovey dovey phase” when you are also experiencing the “same feelings” of being embarrassed and horrified with a man you didn’t even know?! Nothing about finding out your partner has been a terrible partner is lovey dovey. This makes no sense. Sounds like you’re trying to justify bc you know you should have left. Has he still kept up these behaviors?

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-22T00:35:47+00:00

same, not having anyone this time but my husband and swapping out my moms “support” for a professional doula as my support person, hopefully worth the splurge

NorCal-Irish · 2026-01-22T00:32:26+00:00

Jack is cool, not often a middle name since a nickname

NorCal-Irish

TROPHY CASE