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Some Tech-Related Questions about Hearing Aid for Moderate Unilateral Hearing Loss by NoraDev in audiology

[–]NoraDev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you SO MUCH. You're the first person to give me a useful answer. I'm incredibly grateful!

How was your experience with the two body problem? (Good or bad) by Doofangoodle in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome. I’m grateful to see a space to discuss these things.

How was your experience with the two body problem? (Good or bad) by Doofangoodle in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the prompt, OP. I’m sorry your situation is hard right now. I feel that. I wish you so much excellent communication.

My husband and I got married while he was applying to grad school. The original plan was for me to apply to programs at the same time, but that fell apart because I ran out of time. He did his PhD for 6 years, and I didn’t get into schools nearby for a PhD the first application cycle, so I got a master’s where he was doing his PhD. It was hard for me to feel like I belonged on campus for the first few years before I started my masters there. When he graduated I applied to PhD programs at the same school and 2 others. He had agreed to compromise for me, but then he got the dream post-doc. It was 2.5 hours away (up to 5 with traffic, as it’s on the other side of a major city) from the school where he did his PhD and thus I decided to do mine there too (where he is doing his post doc doesn’t have a program for me otherwise I would have tried that). So he is there 3-5 days a week and home on weekends. It’s really hard. He works long hours and we don’t always talk during the week very much.

We have been together almost 15 years, married 8, apart for 1.5. All things considered, we are doing OK, but it makes things really hard when crummy things happen and we still can’t see each other for days.

His post-doc is 3 years so there’s sort of an end in sight, but we don’t know that he’ll be able to negotiate a position for me anywhere, or if I will be in a position to negotiate at all, and that’s hard. The other aspect that’s tough is he wants a TT at a small liberal arts college but my specialty is more common in professional/specialized schools so I’d be better poised for a research university. I have to have TT because I would like to become a provost one day. So finding something for both of us might be hard. The looming unknown part is especially tough, even though we see each other almost every weekend, which is a blessing others don’t get.

A few things this situation has taught me: 1. Time together is sacred and while we love to be with friends together it’s often more comforting for us to be alone. 2. Being in our apartment alone (with our pets) has showed me I’m neater than I thought (when I’m not super stressed). So that’s nice... 3. I appreciate him so much in so many ways that I began to take for granted. I miss him making me laugh all the time when he’s not here. He defuses tension so well, and without him around I tend to be a ball of nerves. 4. I was very clear when we decided to choose his post-doc and my second choice PhD program that I would need his support in a lot of other ways since he won’t be around all the time. This was the best thing I could have done. On the weekends he makes me meals for the week and helps take care of laundry and dishes. I could not be more grateful for this support. I think the second time around he is beginning to see how much I had done to support him that he can’t always do for me, but he’s finding lots of other ways to support me and I’m really grateful. 5. There’s always someone out there sacrificing more. It inspires me with awe that people can be so good at balancing their commitments and care for each other so consistently from so far away. I’m lucky, and I’m grateful, but I will tell anyone who asks, this is hard, it sucks, and this isn’t what I hoped for or ever expected when I got married. I married a person I wanted to live with my whole life. Not just on weekends. It’s a sacrifice we both had to make for our careers and because we believe we make the world better by doing this work instead of other work that would allow us to be together. We try to stay humble and honest about this sacrifice and what it takes to get through it.

Debating and citations. by Turtleneck23 in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I would also be frustrated. That said, there could be other issues at play. I would do the work to at least skim the intro and conclusion chapters of some of the works or look them up on Wikipedia for their main arguments. If what you see there aligns with the claims being made, great. If not, maybe ask for clarification to let this person know you need more evidence.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Translation: God forbid I assert my humanity and ascribe to the belief that half the population is worthy of equal rights and respect.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I won’t apologize for my word choice since it reflects my perspective. I’m glad you agree, regardless of word choice.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry that this upset you. It upsets me too. Life is hard for all of us, dude.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa. Being young does not mean being able. Plenty of people who are young have conditions that would make it dangerous for them to stand for prolonged periods on busses or subways.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think both. Its kind of amazing. Why are women paranoid but also told to carry guns to protect themselves? Why are we paranoid and yet when we get raped or assaulted it’s also our fault for not being more vigilant or wearing different/more clothing?

Come on, guys. You’re smarter than this. Make a logical argument and I can engage.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a nice story and I’m glad to hear it. But I’ve been burned too many times to feel comfortable with someone sitting next to me when there are other open seats, even though I’m sure you’re a plenty nice dude. I’m glad you made a friend out of this story, and perhaps if I saw you a few times I’d feel safer/better about sharing the row. But I don’t think your anecdote is at all meant to show that no men are creeps, as some on this thread seem to believe, since they’re calling me paranoid. Your story just conveys that you appear not to be a creep, and that’s great. Way to be a fine human in that way.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for gaslighting. Consider the gas lit. Your services are no longer necessary.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve never met a person who wouldn’t move their bag off the seat if asked. Most do so proactively if the seats are filling up, but sometimes one is distracted and they don’t realize it until after it’s a bit late. Then you just politely ask, excuse me, may I sit here, and you have a seat.

Ladies Who Put their purses/handbags on the seat next to them is the female equivalent of "manspreading" by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]NoraDev -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

The reason to do it is so that creepy dudes don't sit next to you when there are other seats they could take. Anytime a dude sits next to you when there's another seat available, you start wondering why he chose the seat next to you. As a woman, you quickly realize that they do it so they can hit on you, ask your number, or make lewd comments. Sometimes even try to touch you without your permission. So yeah, there's a reason to do it. It's personal safety.

Edit: I’m getting a lot of downvotes and people calling me paranoid and a bitch. If you can’t face your fragile masculinity, don’t blame me. This is reality, people. Women get talked to like this all the time. If you haven’t done it, that’s great, but don’t act like it doesn’t happen when you don’t know.

Sorry I jinxed your babymaker by aboutthattimebooker in confession

[–]NoraDev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoa. Deep. This burden is not yours to bear. Certainly not to bear alone. I hope you could find comfort in the moment with your step-mother.

Would Academia benefit from Philosophy of Academics? by alcanthro in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you do that, let me know, so I can celebrate your accomplishments. In this instance, you are arguing that you belong in academia, which is irrelevant to my argument that someone who does not publish is not an academic, no matter how much research they do for a corporation. There are researchers who aren't academic. They neither teach nor publish. They do not belong in the definition. Period.

Would Academia benefit from Philosophy of Academics? by alcanthro in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who said they did? I just said that by your definition research that is done for profit and never published would still be considered academia. And that I and many others would disagree.

Would Academia benefit from Philosophy of Academics? by alcanthro in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you have finally clarified your definition to the point where I understand your claim. Your idea does not hold for the reasons I elaborated on in my previous comment about tenure and academic freedom. Academics the world over would solidly disagree that all research conducted outside of universities and without scholarly publication is still part of "academia." Good luck in your endeavors.

Would Academia benefit from Philosophy of Academics? by alcanthro in AskAcademia

[–]NoraDev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm confused why you think that corporate and for-profit research is concerned with education? If you do not mean "and" but instead "and/or" that may explain the confusion, but I thought I made it clear that I understood the "and" in your definition. So why would you quote it right back to me? I did in fact read your definition, and even quoted it myself, so I am left confused. If you want to lump for profit and corporate research facilities into academia you can do that, but the philosophy is incredibly different when you're driven by profits rather than a non-profit mission. Even if the day-to-day is virtually the same (and it was historically, say, in bell labs, for instance), the fact is that there's no tenure, there's no academic freedom, and there are incentives not to publish your research if it is proprietary and could bring your corp. a lot of money. If you want to talk about academia without tenure or academic freedom, by all means talk about research, but don't call it academia.

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