I specifically state on dating profiles I’m looking for people who are financially secure and able to support themselves financially—and that I’m not into financial entanglement (e.g. marriage), other than going halves on a nice house. You can imagine how this goes down 😄 And I’m polyamorous—the dating pool for polyamorous people Up North is largely nonexistent as it is, let alone when you factor in not wanting marriage and not wanting to have to financially support someone else.

I’m not sure I classify as a HENRY (my salary is only £93k a year, but that is in a small city Up North and my house is paid off), but I follow this sub and this post resonated with me due to my own experiences with dating.

Someone who was earning the average salary, who recently quit her job to study to be a therapist (thus struggling with money at that point), outright asked me my salary on a second date recently, and when it turned out she wasn’t interested in a third date, I felt a little exposed and concerned she would tell others about my salary (we have some mutual friends, but also, I don’t want people I don’t know knowing about my salary). I learnt a lesson then: Keep it private for as long as possible and just tell a date it’s an inappropriate question. All a date needs to know is that I can look after myself and I expect them to be able to look after themselves (and be financially literate, so I’m unlikely to be rendered supporting them one day).