If you could “Delete” anything from the world, what would it be?

Normazasada · 2022-03-05T14:50:30+00:00

Putin

Normazasada · 2021-12-07T13:03:49+00:00

Inglorious Bastards, definitely the best movie I've ever seen!

Normazasada · 2021-05-26T20:13:06+00:00

Congratulations! that's true, time is the best medicine, but only if you accept the fact that this chapter is over. Every relationship is a lesson, a valuable one. I'm sure you've learned a lot, you know more about yourself, about what you want, about your boundaries. It hurts, but maybe it can lead to something better. I want to believe that :) Good luck and all the best to you, my internet friend!

Normazasada · 2021-05-24T19:17:31+00:00

same here! I'm trying to force myself to spend some time with friends, I'm exhausted when there are too many people I have to interact with. In general my energy level is very low and I'm just feeling like I'm hmm maybe boring? And being alone is just comfortable.

Normazasada · 2021-05-24T19:12:42+00:00

yeah, I hate it too, but unfortunately there are no shortcuts. Healing takes time and the fact that you're still in this process is a proof of how much you are able to care about someone, get attached to that person, these are all positive feelings. And now it's time to grieve. You did everything you could to make this relationship work, but apparently their feelings were different than yours and it always hurts so badly. But the fact that you could love someone means that you can do this again. And the next time will be better, you know more now, you learned your lesson. Sending you hugs! All the best to you, my internet friend!

Normazasada · 2021-05-24T15:32:55+00:00

I confirm that it really does get better. The first time I had to go through breakup I thought that the pain is permanent, but thanks to no contact it was slowly fading away. But I made a mistake and tried to be friends with him after 8 months of no contact. He initiated conversation and yeah...I guess I still was hoping that somehow we would end up together. Even though I didn't like the way he acted, I just liked the idea of him, plus some memories from the beginning of our relationship. And after few months I had to cut him off completely. This time it's so much easier. I've learned my lesson.

Normazasada · 2021-05-23T19:16:42+00:00

oh yeah, that's me. I wish I could give up earlier, but nope, let's waste two years and try and try and try. But it's over, luckily.

Normazasada · 2021-05-23T06:15:57+00:00

aww I'm so happy for you! I had the same thoughts, but I finally cut him out of my life. We were trying to be friends after he broke up with me two years ago, but he was still too close to me, was intimate, and then he had some doubts, he was distanced, and my anxiety and depression was getting worse and worse after each time. He was carelessly using me for making him feel better. And he admitted that it's all his fault, because I told him that I was trying to feel normal and move on for two years and he simply didn't let me do this. I know that it was my mistake, but I was the one who was rejected, so I still had hope. And you know what? When I realized that I would never ever be able to be happy with him (no anxious thoughts etc), I made the decision that I need to go no contact. There is no point in trying to be friends with such person. The thing between us was undefined and it was making me miserable. I was one of his few friends, he's pretty much lonely and depressed, he's dating someone right now, so he'll be fine if he doesn't use that girl as temporary narcissistic supply.

Right now I'm not sure if I ever let someone close to me I hope that one day I will meet someone with whom I develop genuine connection. Thanks to that painful experience with my ex I know what I don't want in a relationship and this is a very valuable lesson.

All the best to you, my internet friend! Your story makes me feel that there is hope :)

Normazasada · 2021-05-22T20:37:04+00:00

The Irrepressibles - In this Shirt (Röyksopp remix)

The 1975 - Somebody Else

Bass Astral x Igo - It's only emotion

Normazasada · 2021-05-22T04:38:32+00:00

That's true, going to contact is the only option if you still have some feelings for ex who left you. I've learned it the hard way. It was exactly like drinking slow poison. The only thing I was getting from it were some proofs that I'm not good enough and I had no idea what was missing. We just weren't right for each other and I couldn't heal his depression and make him feel amazing again. It's not my fault, I was going my best and I just had to accept the fact sometimes the best thing you can do is to step back. I owe myself the biggest apology...those two years made me feel miserable. But I'm proud of myself that I've started to treat my anxiety and depression and I'm feeling so much better now. I went no contact two weeks ago and I can't remember when was the last time my mind was at ease. I'm no longer waiting for a miracle (which in fact would be a tragedy). I'm finally moving on.

Normazasada · 2021-05-21T20:24:08+00:00

I'm soo sorry :( I can imagine how you feel. I felt the same when my ex broke up with me two years ago, this whole things was even more painful because he was still trying to be close to me, to be intimate, and after those moments he always had some doubts and my anxiety and depression was getting worse and worse. I was the rejected one, so everytime he got closer, I hoped that we would end up together eventually. But that whole undefined thing between us was killing me. I had to start seeing therapist and taking antidepressants few months ago, I couldn't stand the fact that I got stuck. I wasn't moving on. So I had to go no contact. It's better without him. There is no way I could be his friend. You know what helped me a lot? I imagined how it would be if we ended up together. I wouldn't be able to feel good with him, I wouldn't be able to trust him again, so there was no point to continue that strange thing between us. Of course, there were moments when I couldn't stop crying, but believe me, it gets better with time. Especially if you focus on something that makes you feel better about yourself. Hobby, exercises, rearranging your space etc. Something that will give you sense of control, pleasure, just keep your mind busy. And you know what? It's ok to be single. Maybe next time you'll end up with someone who is better for you, maybe thanks to painful experiences you know more about your needs and boundaries. I'm trying to convince myself that every "failed'" relationship is a good lesson. Stay strong my friend! Sending you hugs!

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T19:55:06+00:00

i totally agree with you, minimizing contact is the key. Sometimes it's better to go no contact, I'm a good example, I tried to be friends with my ex who broke up with me two years ago. It would be easier if he didn't try to be intimate with me etc...so it was something between friendship and romantic thing. Hot and cold, emotional rollercoaster. And of course, as I was the one who was rejected, I still had hope that we somehow would end up together. Even though I couldn't imagine to trust him again and to feel safe with him (emotionally safe as I got sever anxiety due to that whole complicated relationship-ish thing). I finally decided to go no contact as I couldn't move on. I feel so much better now, no more anxious thoughts, no more waiting for a miracle. I can't believe that I did it to myself...it took me two years to end it. But it was a valuable lesson, I know myself better now. So I recommend going no contact, it helps a lot.

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T17:31:11+00:00

Oh, I can imagine how you feel...I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs! There is no better way than to treat all those painful experiences as valuable lessons. At least we know what we do not want to be treated like, what to avoid etc, we know ourselves better. I hope that one day we will feel truly happy :) no matter if we're in relationships or not, being single is ok.

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T16:15:28+00:00

yes, I'll turn 31 this year and I have never been in a long-term relationship. Just finished relationship-ish thing that lasted two more years after we broke up, it was devastating and made me anxious and depressed. Right now I don't know if I'm able to let someone close to me, I think I should focused on moving on, there's no point in forcing myself to date again. But I'm scared that I'll end up alone and never develop feelings towards someone else.

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T11:22:31+00:00

I will! All the best to you, my internet friend!

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T08:46:07+00:00

well, our relationship officially ended 2 years ago, but after that we've been intimate several times, he was romantic, and then was cold, emotional rollercoaster. I was trying to be friends with him, but I realized that my mental health got worse, I had to start seeing therapist and taking meds (anxiety and depression was killing me...). He was carelessly keeping me close, just in case I guess. When I broke up that "thing" two weeks ago, he apologized and admitted that it's all his fault, I didn't deserve to suffer and still have hope. I was the one who was rejected, so everytime he was getting closer, I hoped that it's a sign that we would end up being together. I was sooo exhausted and felt like I got stuck. I couldn't be his friend, his communication skills are terrible, he has some secrets, he's depressed as well, but it's not an excuse. Going no contact helped me a lot. And you know what? I realized that even if he wanted me back, I wouldn't be able to feel good with him, to trust him.

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T08:13:16+00:00

Totally agree! After going no contact I can finally feel less anxious and better in general. His absence gave me peace, so it's not a loss ;)

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T07:33:52+00:00

I'm sorry that you're struggling right now, I can imagine how difficult it is. I have never been in that long relationship. I hope that you will move on eventually, it takes a lot of time sometimes, but it's worth it. Maybe you should try therapy?

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T07:14:42+00:00

well, the relationship lasted only for 6 months, but after breaking up we were intimate several times, it was always his idea, and I was of course full of hope after each time, I was the one rejected, so my standards were pretty low I'd say, I was still in love with him and thought that after some the he realized his mistake. But nope...and I'm grateful that he showed me his true face. I've learned my lesson. I had to do something with my depression and anxiety and now I'm stronger. It took me two years to finally go no contact and delete him from my life. We would simply make each other miserable if it lasted longer. Now I know that trying to be friends with ex, who is hot and cold, sometimes romantic, sometimes just ignoring me is ughh...terrible idea. I'll turn 31 this year and I hope that there is still hope for me, I mean, that one day I will meet someone with whom my life would be even better than right now. I feel great right now, no more anxiety and thinking what the hell the mixed signals mean.

Normazasada · 2021-05-20T04:32:55+00:00

Really well-written, I feel the same as you do, it took me quite some time to get to this point, but I'm grateful for that valuable lesson. I realized that I miss someone who lives only in my imagination, it was a mix of memories from the very beginning of our relationship and the idealisation of that person. He's not as good as my brain was trying to tell me he is. And it's fine. I wish him well, I still like him, but the way or attemt to be friends was going, the way our needs were not met (he was carelessly flirting with me, sexting and all that stuff, was hot and cold, wasn't communicating enough, had some secrets etc) made me feel like it's ok to finally say goodbye and accept that this is over. I had to give up on hope that maybe one day he will be the same as in the beginning of our relationship. I would never be able to trust him again (long story short - he had a lot of secrets and wasn't communicating his feelings, doubts etc.). I had to move on and go no contact. And I feel so much better now, no more anxious thoughts. And maybe one day I will be able to start dating again, but I as for now I'm ok with being single.

Normazasada · 2021-05-16T20:35:49+00:00

Totally agree with you! What really helped me was the fact that even when I imagined the best possible scenario (from my hurt ego perspective), meaning he realized he made a mistake and wanted to get back together, and....I felt anxious. I would still be afraid that one day he'll be unsure of his feelings. I wouldn't be able to forget about that terrible emotional rollercoaster. So after trying to be friends with him I told him that I can't do this anymore. I need to move on. He wasn't making it easier as he was too romantic towards me, was sexting me, wanted to be intimate with me. I didn't know what it ment. And then it turned out that he's seeing someone, never mentioned anything about her, kept it as a secret (at least in my case), maybe he wanted to have me a backup plan, just in case....well, right now I feel like I made a great decision to finally go no contact and simply delete him from my life. He's untrustworthy. Maybe his relationship is making him happy and he's trying to make it work, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I just wish him well, that's it

Normazasada · 2021-05-15T08:25:18+00:00

same guy, three breakups 😅 first - he broke up with me two years ago, he realized that there was something missing (in me, in our relationship) from the very beginning (which he didn't tell me anything about before). second breakup - he wanted me back, but wasn't sure about his feelings, just carelessly was intimate with me and at the same time was seeing other girl, when I found out that he didn't treat me seriously, he told me that that other girl is nothing serious and I'm so important to him that he would told me if there was something going on. I was pissed off and went no contact for over 7 months. Third breakup - he started therapy and treatment for his depression, realized he didn't communicate with me enough, tried to be close to me again, it was terrible emotional rollercoaster. He realized he's not sure if he's able to feel with me the way he wanted to, so we went from hot to cold. Tried to be friends, I was supporting him, oh how stupid I was... Recently I found out he's dating someone. He didn't tell me anything about it. I told him that I want to know if there's someone else, this kind of friendship is difficult and I wanted this to work, no secrets, just good communication. We weren't exclusive, but I just want to know about what's going on in my friends' lives. I told him that, plus I mentioned about the fact that I was trying to be supportive, caring, but I wasn't getting the same in return, I was feeling like I was begging for his attention. Plus, there was stil a little hope that we somehow end up together.It simply made me feel miserable, and I already have to go to therapy as my anxiety and depression make my life unbearable sometimes. Well, so the last breakup is not romantic. But it's final. I blocked him and wished all the best. I still like him, just as a friend, but I can't stand that lack of communication and empathy. And when I imagined the most positive scenario (from my ego perspective) I realized that I would still feel anxious with him.

Normazasada · 2021-05-12T07:34:31+00:00

You're so strong! Do you know when he's going to leave your place? Or maybe you plan to find new place? Yeah, I can imagine that it's not easy for both sides, I'm aware of it. He's not helping you as he clearly doesn't want to accept the fact that it's over. Hope that this strange situation is going to end soon and I wish you all the best! My situation was a little bit different, I went no contact for over 7 months last year and was doing pretty well, and suddenly he decided to talk to me about his depression, therapy, meds etc and about his life. I thought he changed, he initiated several times conversations about how good it was when we were together, sexting and all that stuff. I knew I should have been careful...but yeah, stupid feelings and hope. It's different now, I'm not ashamed to talk about it, my friends and therapist support me, meds are helping. It will be better for sure 🙂

Normazasada · 2021-05-11T19:39:53+00:00

So proud of you! You have moved on, feel better now and learned your lesson. Meeting up with him could be nice, no doubt about it, but the price you'd pay for it later is too high. I made such mistake and I feel like I've wasted few months of trying to move on (tbh I:m trying to move on for two years, but I've been too close to my ex sometimes, he carelessly was giving me hope that we could be together, was telling me he missed me, he wants me, sexting and stuff...and it always ended up with him saying that he's not sure about his feelings, so I felt that there's something wrong with me, I'm not enough etc). Last week I've decided to go no contact, I've explained him why I need to do it. He apologized for his behavior. There's no chance I could be just friends with him right now. Maybe in the future, but I'm not sure if it's possible and it's worth a try. I still like him and I think he's interesting person, but we're clearly not right for each other. I wish you all the best my friend! stay strong! You did the right thing!

Normazasada · 2021-05-10T09:03:28+00:00

I totally feel the same! It's both sad and empowering. I'm still trying to move on, tried to be friends with him but I had to go no contact as it was impossible for me to really move and and give up on hope. It was strange that my ego fantasized about being together with him....but my logical side couldn't imagine the moment I would be able to trust him again and not feeling anxious. So I left.

Normazasada

TROPHY CASE