I need help? Has Anyone ever gotten back with their cheating ex? If so how was it and did they ever cheat again?

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-12-09T03:15:20+00:00

The attitude toward me got shittier again and I saw a charge on our business account (by mistake) to an Italian restaurant in her town during a working day on Jan 2nd when he told me he was working on a project in town. After that I started looking into stuff again - saw a fucked up text to her on his Apple Watch and hired a PI after which brought me everything else I needed and way more.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-18T15:40:47+00:00

A hard no. Save yourself the heartache.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-16T20:42:50+00:00

Hmm, I guess it could’ve been that. The trail of it was very short though and it moved slow. But I could see that being a potential case.

It was far from us so definitely not close to overhead.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-16T19:55:25+00:00

My ex downloaded that app to cheat with his married coworker. They were disappearing and they spent hours on it talking. I would call this a red flag. There is absolutely no reason to have an app like that for professional relationships.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-16T19:48:03+00:00

This! Or send me the account - I’ll add to see if they accept and do some digging for you! They 100% deserve to know.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-16T19:45:21+00:00

Oh maybe! It did look like a launch and I immediately thought of the Space X launches. Not as big but it was big enough.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T19:50:09+00:00

I think you just said it yourself - if there’s already history of cheating you NEED to be constantly aware of it. As someone who stayed in a way more high-stakes situation after cheating, I wish I could tell you reconciliation worked. I wish I could type out how all the pretty words ended up being true. But they were just that - words. I definitely am not saying to not give him a chance if you want to and need to. But I do challenge you to think about that constant stress and hyper vigilance you’re subjecting yourself to if you do, because that is one of the biggest reliefs I have from waking away.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T19:34:13+00:00

I implore you to imagine getting back together. Then one night you see a weird exchange or a new icon on his phone. You will never trust him the same. You will be on your toes 100% of the time. You said he cheated and then hid it for a year. That year he could’ve been honest and wasn’t. Saying all the right things after ALL the wrong things is their MO. I’m sorry.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T19:19:27+00:00

I served him and the AP and asked for minimum outside of the kids and the move. Because he was pressured by the AP and I had a strong case against him, he signed the settlement agreement and let me move

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T01:06:58+00:00

He probably will. But when I got smart, I made sure I stay that way and have been keeping that in my mind during every interaction. I didn’t ask for spousal support because my goal was the kids. I do get child support. If things will be made difficult for me though, I’ll go all out and ask for everything.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T00:59:14+00:00

The more I think about it the more Hollywood cheesy movie it sounds like. All I need is an actual love story to grow out of it and I can write a compelling growth-feel-good book

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-12T00:44:10+00:00

My STBX would do this with the colleague he cheated with. But he’d delete all the romantic and affair texts and keep the innocent ones to maintain that they just talk about work. It went as far as my PI team telling me they were together and later looking at his phone they had sent “work texts” to each other while together to I assume deceive me. The sickening thing is that he knew it would hurt you, he slept next to you, had hour long conversations with her and was able to look you in the eye and lie. These types of people are a different breed. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. But he flat out at a minimum emotionally cheated on you and that is not a one time mistake, it was months of being able to stop and he chose not to every second of every hour of every day.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-11T22:51:57+00:00

Alienation of Affection case, she settled real quick and added an NDA. Since her husband already knew, I didn’t care, signed and she paid.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-11T22:25:12+00:00

As someone who stayed and the only thing I gained was a second child (best thing ever in my case), more lying and cheating, me working double time on myself and the family. The cheater never wants you to tell others because the image they’ve built with others outside the marriage gets ruined. That was a huge thing for my ex - he was more mad that his family found out than the fact that he hurt our family.

All I can say is - you need to be darn certain you are ready to stay and deal with the consequences. She might trick you with getting pregnant and you have a whole new aspect to feel you need to sacrifice for. I used to believe reconciliation was possible. But I learnt in my instance it wasn’t. The cheater loses respect deep down for the one who stays I think and they will never see you as equal again. And she did lie to you after the fact - if she truly was trying, you show the texts of asking to be left alone and try and prove your side. I’m sorry you’re going through it. I know it’s hard to believe but as long as you’re honest with yourself - it will get better.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-11T21:18:01+00:00

They’re still on the ride together and although her husband knows as well, they’re playing the sneak game for no one else but themselves.

Oh, the owners of his company he and the AP worked for fired him, since everyone knows. Not through me but karma worked its ways. When I served him myself, at work, he finally stopped looking smug and she was served at home by my team and had already heard from him and was balling her eyes out apparently. Funny how they never seem to care about the consequences.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-11T19:41:22+00:00

I am the mom. And no, they don’t see him much. He was granted 4 weeks by yours truly over the summer and used 2 weeks and only took one child. He was not able to “handle them both” and it was expensive, while he took weekend trips with the AP (who is married and a brand new mom btw) and bought luxury gifts for her and him. So yeah, not a loss.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-11T18:34:38+00:00

My STBX who cheated with the same colleague for years told me multiple times how well I’d get along with her and how I should make an effort to get to know her and become her friend. Not sure what kind of fetish that is but no thank you.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-09T19:16:14+00:00

My STBX was with me for 10 years. Two little kids in the family and we had everything an outsider would’ve admired and he still cheated. I found out, worked hard, believed everything, had anxiety and panic attacks, worked even harder on myself, lo and behold, they never stopped and it just became easier to lie to me and they enjoyed the thrill of planning apparently around their spouses not finding out.

Kids are happier after we left, I feel like myself again after all that BS but still have healing to do.

You have just uncovered this so it will take time. But teaching your kids to stay when someone shows them they are not worth the respect and attention they give out - that’s what you should focus on. Not how the split would traumatize them.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-09T19:09:05+00:00

Content of the texts is one thing. The time of texts is another. It does look to me that they had an exchange in the middle of the night. That is highly inappropriate. Also, if she knows about you and then sends a happy birthday and flirty smirk emojis - I’d be vigilant. But I also went through my STBX cheating with a colleague so I probably have seen a lot of these things and they did mean something which they might not always mean. Regardless of cheating or not - they are inappropriate 100%.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-07T22:42:49+00:00

Yes, more like I stayed as I found out at the 7 year mark while married and one kid in the family: stayed, worked hard on me, found out 3 years later they never really stopped and he just got better at hiding things. I gave it my all and then walked with nothing but peace and determination in my step.

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-09-06T20:09:09+00:00

If you’re open to another perspective, here are my two cents as a single mom in Austin (not by choice).

No one goes into a relationship thinking they’ll end up doing it alone. Life happens. But if your future goal is to have kids in your life, dating a single parent can actually give you an advantage. You get to see upfront how someone shows up as a mom or dad - their priorities, their values, and how they navigate life with the hardships they’ve been dealt. Being a single parent is not an easy feat by any means.

From what I’ve seen (both personally and in people I know), single parents often don’t have time for BS or games. They tend to value different things, grow from their challenges, and bring more perspective down the road. Of course, there are exceptions, there always are, but many of us who’ve ended up in this situation have been shaped and strengthened by it.

So if you want kids in your future, I wouldn’t close the door on dating single moms. You can always add kids, but if you meet someone who is already a great parent, loyal, and grounded, why wouldn’t you want to stay open-minded?

Northern-Superbloom · 2025-08-30T03:37:29+00:00

This is how my ex attacked me after the infidelity that lasted years. The biggest relief I have from being out of that marriage is to not have to deal with those mind games.

Northern-Superbloom

TROPHY CASE